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Lost my daughter for good I fear
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<blockquote data-quote="recoveringenabler" data-source="post: 531306" data-attributes="member: 13542"><p>Hi Dotty. My two cents are similar to what everyone else is saying, yes you have to accept what is before you today. And that is that your daughter has made this choice to be with this guy. What you think about him and what you believe about him are irrelevant now because she is an adult. You have no more power over her or her choices. All you can do is work on yourself and heal your angers, your fears and your sorrows. Star has wonderful points to make, and now it's necessary for you to put all your energy into getting help for yourself so you can cope, be healthy and be a good parent to your other daughter who deserves you to be the best Mom you can be for her. </p><p></p><p>You have an opportunity here to correct your mistakes with your youngest daughter. Or you can ruminate and obsess about your oldest daughter which will keep you very stuck in a hamster wheel, going round and round while you remain unhappy, angry and hurt and while your youngest daughter remains motherless. It's time to heal yourself Dotty. It's time to let go and see <em>what is </em>and accept it, for now. None of us know what the future is, all we have is this moment in time, this one moment for you to be a healthy, loving Mom to your youngest daughter and to learn how to live a productive, happy, peaceful life, regardless of what your oldest daughter is doing right now. That is your challenge. You get to choose. One way anger, defeat, hurt and blame. The other way, learning to forgive, to accept, to detach and to be free of the pain caused by someone else's choices. Many of us here have to face these difficult and painful choices, the alternative is to be miserable and suffer endlessly because you have absolutely no control over another's choices. I recognize the remarkable challenge in these words, said to a mother, but the only way out Dotty, is to LET GO. Hugs to you.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="recoveringenabler, post: 531306, member: 13542"] Hi Dotty. My two cents are similar to what everyone else is saying, yes you have to accept what is before you today. And that is that your daughter has made this choice to be with this guy. What you think about him and what you believe about him are irrelevant now because she is an adult. You have no more power over her or her choices. All you can do is work on yourself and heal your angers, your fears and your sorrows. Star has wonderful points to make, and now it's necessary for you to put all your energy into getting help for yourself so you can cope, be healthy and be a good parent to your other daughter who deserves you to be the best Mom you can be for her. You have an opportunity here to correct your mistakes with your youngest daughter. Or you can ruminate and obsess about your oldest daughter which will keep you very stuck in a hamster wheel, going round and round while you remain unhappy, angry and hurt and while your youngest daughter remains motherless. It's time to heal yourself Dotty. It's time to let go and see [I]what is [/I]and accept it, for now. None of us know what the future is, all we have is this moment in time, this one moment for you to be a healthy, loving Mom to your youngest daughter and to learn how to live a productive, happy, peaceful life, regardless of what your oldest daughter is doing right now. That is your challenge. You get to choose. One way anger, defeat, hurt and blame. The other way, learning to forgive, to accept, to detach and to be free of the pain caused by someone else's choices. Many of us here have to face these difficult and painful choices, the alternative is to be miserable and suffer endlessly because you have absolutely no control over another's choices. I recognize the remarkable challenge in these words, said to a mother, but the only way out Dotty, is to LET GO. Hugs to you. [/QUOTE]
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