Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
Lsh44 - update
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="recoveringenabler" data-source="post: 545675" data-attributes="member: 13542"><p>Hang tough Mom, my therapist just told me that where you and I find ourselves right now is "<em>where the real work begins." </em>I know exactly what you are talking about with the 9 year old stuff, my mind likes to go there too, then we can be really guilty and beat ourselves up. <strong>Don't go there!</strong> Every time your mind wants to think about the 9 year old, remember all the times she was rude to you, disrespectful, obnoxious, all the reasons you asked her to leave. I look at this with myself like I have my own addiction, the addiction to enable, to rescue, to help, to step in. I have to re train my brain to stop going down those worrisome, scary roads. Just like an alcoholic, who can't take that first drink, you can't let down your guard and give in, you've got to let the baby bird fly on her own. Your difficult child had all this time to get a job, find a healthy place to live and she opted out of that, and now wants you to pay the price for her laziness, <strong>don't do it. </strong></p><p><strong></strong></p><p>I'm there with you, I know how you feel, this is hard stuff to do. Look at it like it's a minute to minute issue, you keep saying no, you keep expanding the space between each scary thought, you keep finding your own life and looking for peace. AND, importantly, you get a lot of support, that's the key for me. If therapy is not an option right now, then find a CoDa group or a parent group of some kind. Keep posting here, continually if you must, so that you express all that fear within and get it outside of you. This is a crucial moment right now, stay strong. Our difficult child's are good at finding ways to take care of themselves. <strong>You did not do this to her, she did this to herself. </strong>Remember that. Since I am in the middle of my own post difficult child time now, if you feel like it you can PM me anytime and I will respond, we can support each other to stay strong. Hang in there Mom, it will get better. Let her experience her own natural consequences, that is part of being an adult, this is how you can help her to do it. Today, do something nice for yourself, something special, enjoy life just a little bit and practice expanding those moments. It's all a practice and it will improve. Hugs to you sweet Mama, I'm rooting for you here on the sidelines!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="recoveringenabler, post: 545675, member: 13542"] Hang tough Mom, my therapist just told me that where you and I find ourselves right now is "[I]where the real work begins." [/I]I know exactly what you are talking about with the 9 year old stuff, my mind likes to go there too, then we can be really guilty and beat ourselves up. [B]Don't go there![/B] Every time your mind wants to think about the 9 year old, remember all the times she was rude to you, disrespectful, obnoxious, all the reasons you asked her to leave. I look at this with myself like I have my own addiction, the addiction to enable, to rescue, to help, to step in. I have to re train my brain to stop going down those worrisome, scary roads. Just like an alcoholic, who can't take that first drink, you can't let down your guard and give in, you've got to let the baby bird fly on her own. Your difficult child had all this time to get a job, find a healthy place to live and she opted out of that, and now wants you to pay the price for her laziness, [B]don't do it. [/B] I'm there with you, I know how you feel, this is hard stuff to do. Look at it like it's a minute to minute issue, you keep saying no, you keep expanding the space between each scary thought, you keep finding your own life and looking for peace. AND, importantly, you get a lot of support, that's the key for me. If therapy is not an option right now, then find a CoDa group or a parent group of some kind. Keep posting here, continually if you must, so that you express all that fear within and get it outside of you. This is a crucial moment right now, stay strong. Our difficult child's are good at finding ways to take care of themselves. [B]You did not do this to her, she did this to herself. [/B]Remember that. Since I am in the middle of my own post difficult child time now, if you feel like it you can PM me anytime and I will respond, we can support each other to stay strong. Hang in there Mom, it will get better. Let her experience her own natural consequences, that is part of being an adult, this is how you can help her to do it. Today, do something nice for yourself, something special, enjoy life just a little bit and practice expanding those moments. It's all a practice and it will improve. Hugs to you sweet Mama, I'm rooting for you here on the sidelines! [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
Lsh44 - update
Top