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General Parenting
Lying...and now stealing
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<blockquote data-quote="mstang67chic" data-source="post: 300665" data-attributes="member: 2459"><p>Yep, been there done that. My best advice (from experience) is to stick to her like glue and question everything. She comes home with a new posession? Track it down and confirm she is able to have it. You go to someone else's house....watch her at all times. If that isn't possible, frisk her before you leave. You might want to find a slightly subtle way of doing it but do it all the same. </p><p></p><p>If, after you go to SO's parents house, they won't allow her in the house...so be it...natural consequence. Explaining about stealing may or may not do anything....never did here....and natural consequences may not help either but she needs to see that there ARE consequences. </p><p></p><p>I also do random searches of difficult child's room. EVERY single time I do it, I find contraband. In our house, contraband is anything that does not belong to difficult child. Sometimes it's bigger stuff and sometimes it is stupid little small stuff but I find it Every. Single. Time.</p><p></p><p>I too think it's part of the BiPolar (BP).....kind of an entitlement thing. I've heard all sorts of excuses and reasoning from difficult child...it was just sitting there, no one was using it, he/she won't miss it, blah blah blah blah blah. Honestly, I don't know how much counseling can help with it. Definately have it discussed often but don't expect miracles. I don't want to bring you down but frankly, don't expect to nip it in the bud. It takes a very long time to get this behavior stopped and sometimes it isn't until after the child is out of the house....if ever. It may decrease greatly but, at least in MY experience, it doesn't stop. Not for this reason anyway.</p><p></p><p>So...keep things locked up, do random searches, frisk, monitor and basically expect it to happen so you can keep an eye out. Keep discussing the wrongs about stealing and keep handing out the consequences but expect it.</p><p></p><p>Don't get me wrong.....I'm not trying to bash on your difficult child. But, if this is because of the BiPolar (BP), I've been dealing with it for years and it seriously hoovers. I'm basing all of my advice on my own experience with my difficult child and I've just found it's easier to expect it and be aware than to be taken by surprise. That's not to say that he hasn't pulled one or five over on us but I'm making an effort to keep track. Also, I don't mean that my difficult child or yours are bad kids, and again, assuming it's BiPolar (BP) related, there's just something about BiPolar (BP) that makes mine think he's entitled to anything he sees. He took rings from a girlfriend of mine once. Why he thought he needed a woman's rings I don't know but he saw, he liked and he took. Actually, thinking back...it may not have even been the rings. It could have very well been the thrill of taking them. Who knows. Just be aware that this could very well be something you may not nip in the bud no matter how much you try.</p><p></p><p>Sending hugs and understanding though. Like I said....been there done that.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="mstang67chic, post: 300665, member: 2459"] Yep, been there done that. My best advice (from experience) is to stick to her like glue and question everything. She comes home with a new posession? Track it down and confirm she is able to have it. You go to someone else's house....watch her at all times. If that isn't possible, frisk her before you leave. You might want to find a slightly subtle way of doing it but do it all the same. If, after you go to SO's parents house, they won't allow her in the house...so be it...natural consequence. Explaining about stealing may or may not do anything....never did here....and natural consequences may not help either but she needs to see that there ARE consequences. I also do random searches of difficult child's room. EVERY single time I do it, I find contraband. In our house, contraband is anything that does not belong to difficult child. Sometimes it's bigger stuff and sometimes it is stupid little small stuff but I find it Every. Single. Time. I too think it's part of the BiPolar (BP).....kind of an entitlement thing. I've heard all sorts of excuses and reasoning from difficult child...it was just sitting there, no one was using it, he/she won't miss it, blah blah blah blah blah. Honestly, I don't know how much counseling can help with it. Definately have it discussed often but don't expect miracles. I don't want to bring you down but frankly, don't expect to nip it in the bud. It takes a very long time to get this behavior stopped and sometimes it isn't until after the child is out of the house....if ever. It may decrease greatly but, at least in MY experience, it doesn't stop. Not for this reason anyway. So...keep things locked up, do random searches, frisk, monitor and basically expect it to happen so you can keep an eye out. Keep discussing the wrongs about stealing and keep handing out the consequences but expect it. Don't get me wrong.....I'm not trying to bash on your difficult child. But, if this is because of the BiPolar (BP), I've been dealing with it for years and it seriously hoovers. I'm basing all of my advice on my own experience with my difficult child and I've just found it's easier to expect it and be aware than to be taken by surprise. That's not to say that he hasn't pulled one or five over on us but I'm making an effort to keep track. Also, I don't mean that my difficult child or yours are bad kids, and again, assuming it's BiPolar (BP) related, there's just something about BiPolar (BP) that makes mine think he's entitled to anything he sees. He took rings from a girlfriend of mine once. Why he thought he needed a woman's rings I don't know but he saw, he liked and he took. Actually, thinking back...it may not have even been the rings. It could have very well been the thrill of taking them. Who knows. Just be aware that this could very well be something you may not nip in the bud no matter how much you try. Sending hugs and understanding though. Like I said....been there done that. [/QUOTE]
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