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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 712318" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>While I agree with this in no way am I trying to justify anything our children are doing or to minimize the pain and heartache and mistrust that their actions engender. On the contrary.</p><p></p><p>My son seems to want to construct a self-image that "presents well" to please me and to maintain his own self of himself that he is capable. Sometimes it is manipulation of others, namely me or M. Other times, it seems to be self-deception as well, the need to maintain to himself that he is a reasonable and rational actor and doing better or "well."</p><p></p><p>This kind of self-deceit, I think, to some extent, is near universal. I know I judge myself harshly for the times in my life I deceived myself about my own motivations.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 712318, member: 18958"] While I agree with this in no way am I trying to justify anything our children are doing or to minimize the pain and heartache and mistrust that their actions engender. On the contrary. My son seems to want to construct a self-image that "presents well" to please me and to maintain his own self of himself that he is capable. Sometimes it is manipulation of others, namely me or M. Other times, it seems to be self-deception as well, the need to maintain to himself that he is a reasonable and rational actor and doing better or "well." This kind of self-deceit, I think, to some extent, is near universal. I know I judge myself harshly for the times in my life I deceived myself about my own motivations. [/QUOTE]
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