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<blockquote data-quote="Marguerite" data-source="post: 195481" data-attributes="member: 1991"><p>It's good news that you've found, about other over-18 placements. It sounds like you've had some good advice there.</p><p></p><p>As for you - I think you're own personal estimation that there is some PTSD there is perhaps a major understatement. What you describe - it sounds TOO familiar to me. And yes, when it gets to the stage where every little sound, sight, smell, noise - anything out of place seems to set you off again - yep, sounds like PTSD to the point where YOU need someone outside, to help you find your own way back. </p><p></p><p>As for you not feeling so Steely - remember the fable of the willow tree, and the grass. The two are talking to one another, the willow tree bragging about how strong is its trunk, how many years it has been growing tall and pitying the grass for being so short, so soft and yielding.</p><p>Then the storm hits. The willow tree stands strong against the wind while the grass is bent flat, blades rippling in the gale. </p><p>But this storm is stronger; the willow IS tall, its top branches and added height that made it stand so proud are now its undoing - because it cannot bend like the grass, it breaks and falls.</p><p>Next morning the willow tree is lying uprooted on the riverbank and already the grass is beginning to stand up straight again.</p><p></p><p>Sometimes when we don't feel so strong in the spine, it's a good thing. And from my own recovery from PTSD, when you get to the point where you are now, it DOES feel overwhelming and you DO need help to begin to find your way out. But if you were feeling stronger, then frankly, I would be even more worried because you would be in even more danger of breaking much more seriously.</p><p></p><p>Considering how bad you are feeling, considering just how much you have had to deal with in the past year - I am really impressed at how much you are able to do now for your son, in getting his files together, finding an advocate, gathering information and so on. You are managing to be effective, productive and positive despite your own problems.</p><p></p><p>When I had my own PTSD is was a combination of personal experiences plus a major natural disaster that was incredibly traumatic for everyone in our area. My own issues compounding it meant that it hit me harder and faster than most others, which meant I was beginning to sort things out (with help) just as everyone else around me was going down with it.</p><p></p><p>I normally lick my own wounds and refuse help. However, when I was finding I wasn't coping, when the slightest little thing or change would upset me or make me feel I was back in the trauma, I knew I needed help.</p><p>I didn't need a lot of help, just enough for me to get a sense of direction, from where I could find my own way back.</p><p></p><p>What I went through is not what you have been through. Nobody can compare. But what you are dealing with now, in terms of how you are feeling inside - that I recognise. That is why I really worry about YOU, even though I still see you capable of doing some really effective things for your son.</p><p></p><p>Marg</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Marguerite, post: 195481, member: 1991"] It's good news that you've found, about other over-18 placements. It sounds like you've had some good advice there. As for you - I think you're own personal estimation that there is some PTSD there is perhaps a major understatement. What you describe - it sounds TOO familiar to me. And yes, when it gets to the stage where every little sound, sight, smell, noise - anything out of place seems to set you off again - yep, sounds like PTSD to the point where YOU need someone outside, to help you find your own way back. As for you not feeling so Steely - remember the fable of the willow tree, and the grass. The two are talking to one another, the willow tree bragging about how strong is its trunk, how many years it has been growing tall and pitying the grass for being so short, so soft and yielding. Then the storm hits. The willow tree stands strong against the wind while the grass is bent flat, blades rippling in the gale. But this storm is stronger; the willow IS tall, its top branches and added height that made it stand so proud are now its undoing - because it cannot bend like the grass, it breaks and falls. Next morning the willow tree is lying uprooted on the riverbank and already the grass is beginning to stand up straight again. Sometimes when we don't feel so strong in the spine, it's a good thing. And from my own recovery from PTSD, when you get to the point where you are now, it DOES feel overwhelming and you DO need help to begin to find your way out. But if you were feeling stronger, then frankly, I would be even more worried because you would be in even more danger of breaking much more seriously. Considering how bad you are feeling, considering just how much you have had to deal with in the past year - I am really impressed at how much you are able to do now for your son, in getting his files together, finding an advocate, gathering information and so on. You are managing to be effective, productive and positive despite your own problems. When I had my own PTSD is was a combination of personal experiences plus a major natural disaster that was incredibly traumatic for everyone in our area. My own issues compounding it meant that it hit me harder and faster than most others, which meant I was beginning to sort things out (with help) just as everyone else around me was going down with it. I normally lick my own wounds and refuse help. However, when I was finding I wasn't coping, when the slightest little thing or change would upset me or make me feel I was back in the trauma, I knew I needed help. I didn't need a lot of help, just enough for me to get a sense of direction, from where I could find my own way back. What I went through is not what you have been through. Nobody can compare. But what you are dealing with now, in terms of how you are feeling inside - that I recognise. That is why I really worry about YOU, even though I still see you capable of doing some really effective things for your son. Marg [/QUOTE]
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