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<blockquote data-quote="Steely" data-source="post: 195938" data-attributes="member: 3301"><p>Wow.</p><p>I am blown away by all of the love and great ideas.</p><p></p><p>Janet, I am printing off that list, posting it somewhere, and sending some portions to Matt in a letter.</p><p></p><p>Marg - wow. Your insight about PTSD is extensive, and you hit the nail on the head in every aspect. Every iota of what you said is true. In fact, later today, I think I will post on the watercooler the exact knots in my string that I already know are still not unraveled, in an attempt to decode some of this. I talked to my counselor last night, and it became striking how deep M leaving is tapping into multiple traumas that I have had starting in childhood.</p><p></p><p>Busywend, your one sentence made my heart leap for joy. You are SO right! That is what it is. She is there with him. That is why he looks so much like her.</p><p></p><p>I realized this morning the intensity of the incredibly striking, and serendipitous event of that book my old friend returned to me. I think I told you all about it -</p><p>but one hour before Matt lost it, and I had to call the police - a friend I had not seen in over a year just stopped by. She hugged me, and by then I was already crying. She told me that she wanted to return a book I had loaned her 2 years ago. I took the book from her hand, and I almost fell to my knees. It was a book H. had given me 3 years ago as a birthday present. It was not just any book, but a book by Natalie Goldman on how to write, because H knew I loved to write, and was always encouraging me to pursue that. It was a really meaningful present because at the time H and I had just resolved some of our own issues.</p><p></p><p>That book is still sitting on my coffee table, because an hour later M had knocked me down, the police were called, he was in a psychiatric hospital and than on to Utah. I saw it again this morning, and was once again blown away, as I realized H was there the whole time. I was blown away that it was important enough for her to know that she was with me in spirit, that she made sure I physically knew it. Just blown away. </p><p></p><p>She loved M more than anything - and when she first died I felt strongly she would never leave his side. You are right busywend - she is with him, so much so I can see it. And she is with me.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Steely, post: 195938, member: 3301"] Wow. I am blown away by all of the love and great ideas. Janet, I am printing off that list, posting it somewhere, and sending some portions to Matt in a letter. Marg - wow. Your insight about PTSD is extensive, and you hit the nail on the head in every aspect. Every iota of what you said is true. In fact, later today, I think I will post on the watercooler the exact knots in my string that I already know are still not unraveled, in an attempt to decode some of this. I talked to my counselor last night, and it became striking how deep M leaving is tapping into multiple traumas that I have had starting in childhood. Busywend, your one sentence made my heart leap for joy. You are SO right! That is what it is. She is there with him. That is why he looks so much like her. I realized this morning the intensity of the incredibly striking, and serendipitous event of that book my old friend returned to me. I think I told you all about it - but one hour before Matt lost it, and I had to call the police - a friend I had not seen in over a year just stopped by. She hugged me, and by then I was already crying. She told me that she wanted to return a book I had loaned her 2 years ago. I took the book from her hand, and I almost fell to my knees. It was a book H. had given me 3 years ago as a birthday present. It was not just any book, but a book by Natalie Goldman on how to write, because H knew I loved to write, and was always encouraging me to pursue that. It was a really meaningful present because at the time H and I had just resolved some of our own issues. That book is still sitting on my coffee table, because an hour later M had knocked me down, the police were called, he was in a psychiatric hospital and than on to Utah. I saw it again this morning, and was once again blown away, as I realized H was there the whole time. I was blown away that it was important enough for her to know that she was with me in spirit, that she made sure I physically knew it. Just blown away. She loved M more than anything - and when she first died I felt strongly she would never leave his side. You are right busywend - she is with him, so much so I can see it. And she is with me. [/QUOTE]
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