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General Parenting
Made a big decision about my difficult child and I'm just sick
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<blockquote data-quote="Fran" data-source="post: 17249" data-attributes="member: 3"><p>In my mind, you are suffering with several decisions,options and problems.</p><p>1)what's best for difficult child</p><p>2)will ex do well with difficult child</p><p>3)will difficult child improve</p><p>4) will difficult child ever return to be close to you</p><p>5)should you go to live close to difficult child with husband or without husband.</p><p>6) should you stay with husband (sounds like you have issues about living with husband forever)</p><p>7)will you lose the girls if you leave husband</p><p>8)What's the right choice.</p><p></p><p>Regardless if difficult child is normal teen stuff or a full blown difficult child by your dad's standards, difficult child has had enough problems and issues to be in trouble. No one keeps a child in the hospital for a week for normal teen stuff. </p><p>So throw the idea that you are over reacting out the window. He needs attention of some sort and it's obvious what you are doing isn't working(just like it didn't work for me-no judgement here)</p><p></p><p>Your ex is his parent too. If he gets difficult child on track, it's a little painful to the ego but it's in difficult child's best interest. I would not hesitate to do anything that would help my son. I would swallow my pride as long as difficult child improves. I'd send difficult child as soon as possible to his dad.</p><p></p><p>Whether to move mid year with difficult child is a question. Is it in the best interest of the 3 other children? Should you wait until summer? You will have to weight the pros and cons. difficult child won't be free and running the streets but with his father. Give the other three kids time to heal and time to adjust. </p><p></p><p>Your big problem is what are you doing with your marriage? Are you going to continue or are you trying to prevent custody issues if you leave? This is the underlying trauma going on in addition to your son going to dads. </p><p></p><p>It's a lot of decisions but for a difficult child whatever you decide you have to ask the question,"who does it serve?" If sending difficult child to dad's is difficult child's best interest then do it. If it is a way for you to leave husband and not in the difficult child's best interest I would re examine the issue. </p><p></p><p>Try to write down a list of what's happening and look to make the most balanced healthiest choice for difficult child and the other kids and for you.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Fran, post: 17249, member: 3"] In my mind, you are suffering with several decisions,options and problems. 1)what's best for difficult child 2)will ex do well with difficult child 3)will difficult child improve 4) will difficult child ever return to be close to you 5)should you go to live close to difficult child with husband or without husband. 6) should you stay with husband (sounds like you have issues about living with husband forever) 7)will you lose the girls if you leave husband 8)What's the right choice. Regardless if difficult child is normal teen stuff or a full blown difficult child by your dad's standards, difficult child has had enough problems and issues to be in trouble. No one keeps a child in the hospital for a week for normal teen stuff. So throw the idea that you are over reacting out the window. He needs attention of some sort and it's obvious what you are doing isn't working(just like it didn't work for me-no judgement here) Your ex is his parent too. If he gets difficult child on track, it's a little painful to the ego but it's in difficult child's best interest. I would not hesitate to do anything that would help my son. I would swallow my pride as long as difficult child improves. I'd send difficult child as soon as possible to his dad. Whether to move mid year with difficult child is a question. Is it in the best interest of the 3 other children? Should you wait until summer? You will have to weight the pros and cons. difficult child won't be free and running the streets but with his father. Give the other three kids time to heal and time to adjust. Your big problem is what are you doing with your marriage? Are you going to continue or are you trying to prevent custody issues if you leave? This is the underlying trauma going on in addition to your son going to dads. It's a lot of decisions but for a difficult child whatever you decide you have to ask the question,"who does it serve?" If sending difficult child to dad's is difficult child's best interest then do it. If it is a way for you to leave husband and not in the difficult child's best interest I would re examine the issue. Try to write down a list of what's happening and look to make the most balanced healthiest choice for difficult child and the other kids and for you. [/QUOTE]
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Made a big decision about my difficult child and I'm just sick
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