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The Watercooler
Made contact with a former friend
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<blockquote data-quote="TerryJ2" data-source="post: 188416" data-attributes="member: 3419"><p>I don't think you're being silly. </p><p>I am still friends with-a friend with whom I've had a cpl of falling-outs and I am always wary. Usually, if she says something and acts like she wants help, she actually wants me to reinforce her opinion. She doesn't really want to know what I think. So I am careful to steer away from being "too helpful." </p><p>She is a lot of fun and can be sympathetic, but she doesn't have any kids (and she literally hates my difficult child) and is divorced, and she is in financial straits. She has always been jealous of our supposed "wealth" and makes snippy remarks every now and then.</p><p>Now that I know what the issues are and what her hot buttons are, I can go out and have fun with-her. But I have learned that she can no longer be my very best friend in the whole wide world.</p><p> </p><p>That doesn't mean we can't still be friends and have fun. Just that it has its limitations.</p><p> </p><p>I think it is great that you and your friend were able to have a nice chat. From what you say, (guarding of my feelings") I would suggest mentally drawing up some guidelines so that if she gets too invasive, nosy, or whatever, you can say, "Well, that's certainly something to think about," or something vague, and then change the subject.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="TerryJ2, post: 188416, member: 3419"] I don't think you're being silly. I am still friends with-a friend with whom I've had a cpl of falling-outs and I am always wary. Usually, if she says something and acts like she wants help, she actually wants me to reinforce her opinion. She doesn't really want to know what I think. So I am careful to steer away from being "too helpful." She is a lot of fun and can be sympathetic, but she doesn't have any kids (and she literally hates my difficult child) and is divorced, and she is in financial straits. She has always been jealous of our supposed "wealth" and makes snippy remarks every now and then. Now that I know what the issues are and what her hot buttons are, I can go out and have fun with-her. But I have learned that she can no longer be my very best friend in the whole wide world. That doesn't mean we can't still be friends and have fun. Just that it has its limitations. I think it is great that you and your friend were able to have a nice chat. From what you say, (guarding of my feelings") I would suggest mentally drawing up some guidelines so that if she gets too invasive, nosy, or whatever, you can say, "Well, that's certainly something to think about," or something vague, and then change the subject. [/QUOTE]
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Made contact with a former friend
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