Discussion in 'Parent Emeritus' started by KityKat, Sep 19, 2007.

  1. KityKat

    KityKat New Member

    Since my 19 year old daughter walked out in early August her mail has been pileing up here. She hasn't called home and the one time she answered a text I sent her she said she was ok but choose not to talk to me. I haven't called her at all but I've tried sending her e-cards so I'd see if she read them but neither of them have been picked up. Two days ago I got a letter from the post office that she has put in a change of address. I'm undecided on what I should do with her mail including car insurance papers etc. I'd like some advice. Should I now throw all the mail except ads into a mailbox assuming it will be forwarded to her or should I just keep it here and wait for her to call about it or not?

    husband thinks we should throw it in a mail box but I think maybe she should take responsibility for arranging a way to pick it up or suffer the consequences of no car insurance or valid registration.

    I'm still very sad over everything. :frown: She has "new" friends from what I can find out and they aren't better than her old ones that's for sure. She isn't working so she's spending all the insurance settlement money she got in July. She quit her long time job at a pizza restaurant because 10 miles was too far to drive her new car to work. She and a girl she met the end of July have an apartment but I don't know where and I know absolutely nothing about this roommate.

    We feel that she either is using drugs or has serious problems but she won't talk to us or anyone else about this. She's told her older brother that she'll never be rich like the people she sees on MTV so why bother trying. I seriously think she feels the people she sees on My super sweet 16 and shows like this are the norm and she has been cheated with parents who can't spent 100's of thousands of dollars on her birthdays. I think I mentioned before she's adopted and I think the jokes she's made about how she should have been adopted by some rich family and been an only child weren't jokes but what she truely thinks she deserves. :rolleyes:
  2. Jen

    Jen New Member

    I would take the mail and take it to the post office, and let them deal with it.
    I find it with each passing day whether my kids are easy child or difficult child, that there is no respect for parents or the advice we give. She is going to do what she wants to do. We all know what the end results will be of their poor choices, and how it will still effect us when theycome home boo hooing. Becuase our maturity adn thought process of responsibility are intact, they will be saved, and we again suffer emotionally.

  3. CrazyinVA

    CrazyinVA Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I would write "please forward" on each piece of mail and drop them in the mailbox. Since there is a forwarding order on file, they should honor that with no problem. If new mail arrives that isn't caught in the forwarding order (my post office does this ALL the time), do the same. I've had to do that with my Oldest's mail frequently. Even if there is no forwarding order on file, you can usually write "please forward to:" and the address, and it will get there.

    It seems to me that if she is ignoring your attempts to contact her, that is the simplest, and least stressful thing to do.

    Hugs. Hang in there.
  4. Suz

    Suz (the future) MRS. GERE

    I would also forward. It will accomplish nothing to do anything less than that. You can write "Not at this address. Please forward to (write new address)" on each envelope and they will take it from there.

  5. KityKat

    KityKat New Member

    Thanks, I am going to drop it at the post office with please forward on each piece of mail. She hasn't given any of us the address she's living at and the forwarding notice from the post office didn't include it either :frown:
  6. KFld

    KFld New Member

    I agree with the others and it sounds like you do too. It's not easy, is it?????
  7. Abbey

    Abbey Spork Queen

    ha! How can you forward mail when you have no address? :hammer: I guess it might be a PO box.

    Yep...I'd just write FORWARD on it. I guess the other option would be to bundle it up the day before trash day...put it out by the can and text her saying, "Your mail is by the can. I expect it will be taken tomorrow morning if you don't come get it." :warrior:

  8. KityKat

    KityKat New Member

    The plot thickens here it seems. Today I saw her cell phone number on our home phone called ID. I admit I took the cowards way out and had her younger (17) sister call and say that Mom saw your number on the caller ID and wanted to know what you wanted? She answered I didn't call my phone must have dialed it by accident (don't you hate it when your cell phones make calls of their own :surprise:)
    I had my suspicions that she was trying to reach my 17 year old and thought she'd answer the phone at that time of day. Sure enough she called my 17 year old tonight and said don't tell mom or dad I called BUT do you know when they are both going to be out? When they go shopping or something you stay home and call me so I can come get things. Now I'm truly concerned since she took everything she owned when she left. I'm afraid she might be thinking of taking our little Pom dog that she likes or other stuff that isn't hers. I've told my daughter not to answer any more of her calls and I guess we'll change all our locks but its certainly an uncomfortable feeling to worry about your child coming to the house. :hammer: