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major guilt
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<blockquote data-quote="flutterbee" data-source="post: 106954"><p>((((KJS))))</p><p></p><p>You're bringing home the bacon AND frying it up in the pan and H keeps reaching around behind you and turning off the stove. He needs to step up or get out. Period. He's a hindrance, not a help - and to difficult child as well as to you.</p><p></p><p>Now, take a big, deep breathe. You seem to listen to everyone but yourself. What do YOU want? What do YOU feel works for difficult child? </p><p></p><p>I would tell the school that unless difficult child is violent, to stop calling. If they can't deal with a child that paces, forgets his pencil or fidgets then they are in the wrong field. Seriously. The school is abusing you. If they keep calling, quit answering - let it go to voicemail. If the message doesn't start out with, "difficult child cold-cocked..." then I would delete it without listening. Eventually, they'll get the message. </p><p></p><p>At 13, difficult child's homework is his responsibility. If he doesn't do it, his problem. Not yours. I would tell the school THAT, too. Some of our kids - a lot of them, it seems - have to learn the hard way. If the teachers won't allow him to not do homework, then HE will have to deal with the consequences. Not you. You have done everything within your power to impress upon difficult child the importance of it and have made him do it. At this age, he *knows*, it's just not a priority. Maybe if he has to repeat a class or two, it will become one. It's not the end of the world to repeat a class. If the school tries to lay this on you, tell them, "I have done everything I can to get difficult child to do his homework. I can no longer have that battle every day. Further, at 13 he has to take responsibility for himself. The consequences lie with difficult child, not me." And let it go.</p><p></p><p>Stop trying to make everyone happy. A saint couldn't do that. And neither can you. And in the end, you're making yourself miserable while trying to please everyone else. YOU are the only one that has to live with you. And YOU deserve to be happy, too. Do what is best for you and for difficult child. If others don't like it, tell them where they can go. </p><p></p><p>(((((hugs)))))</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="flutterbee, post: 106954"] ((((KJS)))) You're bringing home the bacon AND frying it up in the pan and H keeps reaching around behind you and turning off the stove. He needs to step up or get out. Period. He's a hindrance, not a help - and to difficult child as well as to you. Now, take a big, deep breathe. You seem to listen to everyone but yourself. What do YOU want? What do YOU feel works for difficult child? I would tell the school that unless difficult child is violent, to stop calling. If they can't deal with a child that paces, forgets his pencil or fidgets then they are in the wrong field. Seriously. The school is abusing you. If they keep calling, quit answering - let it go to voicemail. If the message doesn't start out with, "difficult child cold-cocked..." then I would delete it without listening. Eventually, they'll get the message. At 13, difficult child's homework is his responsibility. If he doesn't do it, his problem. Not yours. I would tell the school THAT, too. Some of our kids - a lot of them, it seems - have to learn the hard way. If the teachers won't allow him to not do homework, then HE will have to deal with the consequences. Not you. You have done everything within your power to impress upon difficult child the importance of it and have made him do it. At this age, he *knows*, it's just not a priority. Maybe if he has to repeat a class or two, it will become one. It's not the end of the world to repeat a class. If the school tries to lay this on you, tell them, "I have done everything I can to get difficult child to do his homework. I can no longer have that battle every day. Further, at 13 he has to take responsibility for himself. The consequences lie with difficult child, not me." And let it go. Stop trying to make everyone happy. A saint couldn't do that. And neither can you. And in the end, you're making yourself miserable while trying to please everyone else. YOU are the only one that has to live with you. And YOU deserve to be happy, too. Do what is best for you and for difficult child. If others don't like it, tell them where they can go. (((((hugs))))) [/QUOTE]
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