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marriage counselor said..
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<blockquote data-quote="Jena" data-source="post: 416265" data-attributes="member: 4514"><p>hi</p><p> </p><p>yes i see everyones' point, yet to be very honest about it, when we spoke it was also about the lies and inappropriate behavior husband has presented with and brought into our marriage, and the fact that one cannot be "emotionally" in the right place to engage in intimacy to begin with.... husband expects it regardless of his behaviors, it'sa merry go round and he continues the untrustworthy behaviors due to that. round and round we go.</p><p> </p><p>it came to light yesterday thru total accident that him and ex had a prolonged text session. he actually showed me the texts, crazy. i was supposed to get stepson to a rehearsal thing and i couldn't because my truck wasn't working it's broken. he text ex wife that and she lost it. she went on to say what a loser i am, how i'm just like him mom (who has extreme anxiety and is a shut in), how i dont' care at all about their kids, on and on she went. for no reason other than i asked for help from her and her wife to get the kid there due to my truck.</p><p> </p><p>he than wrote in response to her remarks about me "i know your right i'm sorry i suck", he wrote how miserable he was with me, etc. to her, and than they went on to talk about prior junk from their marriage, things that went on when they spit.</p><p> </p><p>i looked at him, and simply said wow how could you do this? you are so not over your last marriage at all, you never did the work, it's apparent. you two are still going through your divorce that happened five years ago. his response to what he wrote about me was i was just being sarcastic. so we havent' spoken. just deciding what to do. he needs time alone to figure himself out, get over his last marriage. i told him you had no business marrying me you weren't ready at all. </p><p> </p><p>a seperation would probably be the best thing, wouldn't totally end it yet get the space we need, he really has alot of work to do bigtime. i could stay home with difficult child still and tutors and house bills would be covered. i'm just afraid of upsetting her, she loves my step kids as do i. i don't know if he'd be willing to still bring them here two days a week. last thing she needs now is a major shift like that she's doing better in some areas i dont' want to lose that. easy child's been home for handful of days now and is heading back to therapy today.</p><p> </p><p>any thoughts? it kills me to hurt difficult child now. yet how can i let him stay here with all this? what anightmare. it's odd, his issues came to the surface more following us being married regarding ex and their junk. he obviously wants her Occupational Therapist (OT) know how miserable he is since she left him years ago hence complaining to her about me.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Jena, post: 416265, member: 4514"] hi yes i see everyones' point, yet to be very honest about it, when we spoke it was also about the lies and inappropriate behavior husband has presented with and brought into our marriage, and the fact that one cannot be "emotionally" in the right place to engage in intimacy to begin with.... husband expects it regardless of his behaviors, it'sa merry go round and he continues the untrustworthy behaviors due to that. round and round we go. it came to light yesterday thru total accident that him and ex had a prolonged text session. he actually showed me the texts, crazy. i was supposed to get stepson to a rehearsal thing and i couldn't because my truck wasn't working it's broken. he text ex wife that and she lost it. she went on to say what a loser i am, how i'm just like him mom (who has extreme anxiety and is a shut in), how i dont' care at all about their kids, on and on she went. for no reason other than i asked for help from her and her wife to get the kid there due to my truck. he than wrote in response to her remarks about me "i know your right i'm sorry i suck", he wrote how miserable he was with me, etc. to her, and than they went on to talk about prior junk from their marriage, things that went on when they spit. i looked at him, and simply said wow how could you do this? you are so not over your last marriage at all, you never did the work, it's apparent. you two are still going through your divorce that happened five years ago. his response to what he wrote about me was i was just being sarcastic. so we havent' spoken. just deciding what to do. he needs time alone to figure himself out, get over his last marriage. i told him you had no business marrying me you weren't ready at all. a seperation would probably be the best thing, wouldn't totally end it yet get the space we need, he really has alot of work to do bigtime. i could stay home with difficult child still and tutors and house bills would be covered. i'm just afraid of upsetting her, she loves my step kids as do i. i don't know if he'd be willing to still bring them here two days a week. last thing she needs now is a major shift like that she's doing better in some areas i dont' want to lose that. easy child's been home for handful of days now and is heading back to therapy today. any thoughts? it kills me to hurt difficult child now. yet how can i let him stay here with all this? what anightmare. it's odd, his issues came to the surface more following us being married regarding ex and their junk. he obviously wants her Occupational Therapist (OT) know how miserable he is since she left him years ago hence complaining to her about me. [/QUOTE]
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