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Marriage stressed/failing/failed........PARENTING
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<blockquote data-quote="ME &amp; THE BOYS" data-source="post: 58493" data-attributes="member: 3838"><p>Hello everyone,</p><p></p><p>It has been awhile. Nothing new to report (not sure if this is good, or not good).</p><p></p><p>I think someone wrote, that it is hard enough to cope with the difficulites of our challenging children, we shouldn't have to cope with painful marriages/partners also. I keep asking God, what learning experience is there in all this. I HAVE HAD ENOUGH OF THE EXPERIENCE. I just want to be happy parenting, happy in my life. I AM NOT, but what am I to do, run away?!</p><p>To think about spending more time with my challenging child if spouse was gone.............well, this is an unbareable thought. Another concern is that I would be so worn out/stressed out (more than I am now), that this might make our homelife even stressful for all (the kiddies). I have been making myself go out more lately and although this is lonesome, I find I am less stressed getting these "Mommy moments away from caring for them." He will take care of them, if Mommy is not around to do it. He just doesn't do things as well as Mommy, nor love them as much as Mommy. I think this is why in the past, I rarely went out. This makes me more exhausted and angered if I am doing everything for everyone!</p><p></p><p>Debra, I was so sorry to hear about how you lost your first husband. Did he ever straighen himself out?</p><p></p><p>Marguerita, Ohhhhhhhhh yes, he comes from a very very selfish family. They were raised with no love, no attention, no involement of their parents in their lives. You know, I didn't come from the most loving family either, but I love my children to death. I complain about them, they wear me out, but they are my world. I will do everything for them. I will give them everything I possibly can to enrich their lives. I hate the term he uses, "well this is how I was raised, this is who I am."</p><p></p><p>Sequoia, you are single. How have you managed with a challenging child? Have you support? Financial and family help?</p><p></p><p>Regjected Mom, I am so sorry to hear about the hardships of your life. Your regrets. Your health declining. You asked that I answer a very serious question. I have made a pro/con list and right now I am better off with him. Mainly for his money (which allows me to stay home and run my son around to his many appointments and pay for their costs.) It also allows me to put my p/c in many sports he enjoys. WE ARE NOT RICH BY ALL MEANS, but we just get by. I also have him to watch the kids when I have had enough and need to get away from them (for an hour, for a half day). I could write you my list, but why. </p><p></p><p>I only wish I did not love him. If only it didn't bother me when he goes out and I believe he is with a woman (and in love) and won't say where he is going.</p><p></p><p>I have little education and am where I need to be with my young kids (ESPECIALLY MY CHALLENGING CHILD). He requires sooooooooooooo much of my time with homework,,,. AGAIN, I can't imagine doing this on my own. A lottery would be a huge huge, huge help.</p><p></p><p>Maybe we could all pray I could win a HUGE LOTTERY. Like now.</p><p>I would share with you all.</p><p></p><p>In ending this note, I would just like to say, I am so sorry for your pain (maritial problems and difficulties with your children).</p><p></p><p>Thank you for your ears, your advice, your friendships.</p><p></p><p>Night for now.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="ME & THE BOYS, post: 58493, member: 3838"] Hello everyone, It has been awhile. Nothing new to report (not sure if this is good, or not good). I think someone wrote, that it is hard enough to cope with the difficulites of our challenging children, we shouldn't have to cope with painful marriages/partners also. I keep asking God, what learning experience is there in all this. I HAVE HAD ENOUGH OF THE EXPERIENCE. I just want to be happy parenting, happy in my life. I AM NOT, but what am I to do, run away?! To think about spending more time with my challenging child if spouse was gone.............well, this is an unbareable thought. Another concern is that I would be so worn out/stressed out (more than I am now), that this might make our homelife even stressful for all (the kiddies). I have been making myself go out more lately and although this is lonesome, I find I am less stressed getting these "Mommy moments away from caring for them." He will take care of them, if Mommy is not around to do it. He just doesn't do things as well as Mommy, nor love them as much as Mommy. I think this is why in the past, I rarely went out. This makes me more exhausted and angered if I am doing everything for everyone! Debra, I was so sorry to hear about how you lost your first husband. Did he ever straighen himself out? Marguerita, Ohhhhhhhhh yes, he comes from a very very selfish family. They were raised with no love, no attention, no involement of their parents in their lives. You know, I didn't come from the most loving family either, but I love my children to death. I complain about them, they wear me out, but they are my world. I will do everything for them. I will give them everything I possibly can to enrich their lives. I hate the term he uses, "well this is how I was raised, this is who I am." Sequoia, you are single. How have you managed with a challenging child? Have you support? Financial and family help? Regjected Mom, I am so sorry to hear about the hardships of your life. Your regrets. Your health declining. You asked that I answer a very serious question. I have made a pro/con list and right now I am better off with him. Mainly for his money (which allows me to stay home and run my son around to his many appointments and pay for their costs.) It also allows me to put my p/c in many sports he enjoys. WE ARE NOT RICH BY ALL MEANS, but we just get by. I also have him to watch the kids when I have had enough and need to get away from them (for an hour, for a half day). I could write you my list, but why. I only wish I did not love him. If only it didn't bother me when he goes out and I believe he is with a woman (and in love) and won't say where he is going. I have little education and am where I need to be with my young kids (ESPECIALLY MY CHALLENGING CHILD). He requires sooooooooooooo much of my time with homework,,,. AGAIN, I can't imagine doing this on my own. A lottery would be a huge huge, huge help. Maybe we could all pray I could win a HUGE LOTTERY. Like now. I would share with you all. In ending this note, I would just like to say, I am so sorry for your pain (maritial problems and difficulties with your children). Thank you for your ears, your advice, your friendships. Night for now. [/QUOTE]
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