Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
Maybe My difficult child Is Getting Help Now????
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="Star*" data-source="post: 211973" data-attributes="member: 4964"><p>Hi M23</p><p> </p><p>You know I read your entire post (parts twice) because I thought to myself and daydreamed a little that somewhere my x and your grandsons biofather's family have GOT to be related. (something about 2nd cousin twice removed post rings here) </p><p> </p><p>And I wanted to share with you something that actually happened to me once I got away from the madness that was my sons' fathers family. See for years I did the "Yes maa'm, no maa'm " and took it from everyone, everyway that they had to dish it out about how horrible I was at being a Mother. By the time I left that family fighting and screaming, yelling and pounding fists and kicking things were normal. NEVER in my life was I like that - being around THAT family did it to me and they were very mentally ill. </p><p> </p><p>When I left - I left. I wanted NO contact with them and for YEARS went to therapy and began to live a life of peace and mellow contentment. So imagine my surprise when my xmil "found" us (in hiding) and made a stop at MY home. She got out of the van all stinky sweet and honey this, darlin' that and it was fine as long as I gave her answers she wanted. The minute she did NOT get her way? WHAM BAM - YELLING, SCREAMING, arm flailing, scene making, drama queen emerges and it fell over me to be the EXACT same way in a snap. DF came out of the den into the driveway and whistled. He was serious and not a man to be played with and said to her "I will NOT have you speaking to the love of my life in this tone, manner or fashion. IF you CAN NOT conduct yourself in an appropriate way then you will have to leave - plain and simple." With that she did calm down. </p><p> </p><p>What AMAZED me about the entire situation was that ((((I))) even after therapy and living a life of peace and contentment where NO ONE had yelled (except for difficult child) for years - and in an instant I was caught up in it again. Almost as quickly as it happened for me I stood there after DF whistled and thought "WHAT am I doing? I'm not like this any more, I wasn't raised like this, this is insane and demeaning to myself." and that was the last time I've done it. </p><p> </p><p>My point here is this (not to bore you ) but with your grandson - eventually he will PREFER the peace and quiet OVER the chaos and idiotic logic of his bio father's family. My own son who THRIVED for years in chaos - NOW seeks peace and quiet. And I don't care where he finds it - but it's interesting to see that even at 18 when he was "HIS OWN MAN" we see the things in him and traits in him that have changed him for the better. I never thought I would tell you EVER that he's actually at peace sometimes. There was always so much chaos. But living in a home with mellow and peaceful people? It's a good thing - and your grandson will prefer it (sounds like he already does) </p><p> </p><p>And the OTHER thing about the whole mess with my xmil? When she left I thought - OMG.....O.M.G.....HOW did I ever live with people like that and HOW very sad that she is SO uneducated on problem solving, has limited coping skills, and can't articulate herself in any other fashion other than what she feels gets her what she wants - I actually found myself feeling a tad (twinge) sorry for her and her sorry life....she died NEVER NEVER getting to know peace. Same with your gsons' biofather's Mom - she'll never know peace....and eventually your grandson won't want to be around them much at all - it will be too out of his lifestyle for him to enjoy -</p><p> </p><p>In the mean time - (sends superglue) do the best you can for keeping your lips pursed and saying NOTHING - you WILL come out to be the better person. </p><p> </p><p>HUGS</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Star*, post: 211973, member: 4964"] Hi M23 You know I read your entire post (parts twice) because I thought to myself and daydreamed a little that somewhere my x and your grandsons biofather's family have GOT to be related. (something about 2nd cousin twice removed post rings here) And I wanted to share with you something that actually happened to me once I got away from the madness that was my sons' fathers family. See for years I did the "Yes maa'm, no maa'm " and took it from everyone, everyway that they had to dish it out about how horrible I was at being a Mother. By the time I left that family fighting and screaming, yelling and pounding fists and kicking things were normal. NEVER in my life was I like that - being around THAT family did it to me and they were very mentally ill. When I left - I left. I wanted NO contact with them and for YEARS went to therapy and began to live a life of peace and mellow contentment. So imagine my surprise when my xmil "found" us (in hiding) and made a stop at MY home. She got out of the van all stinky sweet and honey this, darlin' that and it was fine as long as I gave her answers she wanted. The minute she did NOT get her way? WHAM BAM - YELLING, SCREAMING, arm flailing, scene making, drama queen emerges and it fell over me to be the EXACT same way in a snap. DF came out of the den into the driveway and whistled. He was serious and not a man to be played with and said to her "I will NOT have you speaking to the love of my life in this tone, manner or fashion. IF you CAN NOT conduct yourself in an appropriate way then you will have to leave - plain and simple." With that she did calm down. What AMAZED me about the entire situation was that ((((I))) even after therapy and living a life of peace and contentment where NO ONE had yelled (except for difficult child) for years - and in an instant I was caught up in it again. Almost as quickly as it happened for me I stood there after DF whistled and thought "WHAT am I doing? I'm not like this any more, I wasn't raised like this, this is insane and demeaning to myself." and that was the last time I've done it. My point here is this (not to bore you ) but with your grandson - eventually he will PREFER the peace and quiet OVER the chaos and idiotic logic of his bio father's family. My own son who THRIVED for years in chaos - NOW seeks peace and quiet. And I don't care where he finds it - but it's interesting to see that even at 18 when he was "HIS OWN MAN" we see the things in him and traits in him that have changed him for the better. I never thought I would tell you EVER that he's actually at peace sometimes. There was always so much chaos. But living in a home with mellow and peaceful people? It's a good thing - and your grandson will prefer it (sounds like he already does) And the OTHER thing about the whole mess with my xmil? When she left I thought - OMG.....O.M.G.....HOW did I ever live with people like that and HOW very sad that she is SO uneducated on problem solving, has limited coping skills, and can't articulate herself in any other fashion other than what she feels gets her what she wants - I actually found myself feeling a tad (twinge) sorry for her and her sorry life....she died NEVER NEVER getting to know peace. Same with your gsons' biofather's Mom - she'll never know peace....and eventually your grandson won't want to be around them much at all - it will be too out of his lifestyle for him to enjoy - In the mean time - (sends superglue) do the best you can for keeping your lips pursed and saying NOTHING - you WILL come out to be the better person. HUGS [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
Maybe My difficult child Is Getting Help Now????
Top