This is definitely going to be an interesting session with therapist Fri. morning. She had asked our goals for family therapy- I gave her two and difficult child gave her two. She wrote them all down and told me she couldn't help with my first goal- that was the extent of the first session. Second session, she blew my second one off and went straight to difficult child's about wanting more privileges, then said we needed to word things in a way that she could list measurable goals.
We had already had the discussion (she and I) about CBT being recommended by all previous tdocs for difficult child due to his underlying issues and that behavior contracts serve only to make him worse. Sttill, it appears to me that this is what she is establishing.
Even if I was willing to do it, which would not incllude letting a easy child minor do what he wants without a parent knowing where they are or what they are doing, difficult child is going to be on parole. The PO will set a curfew when difficult child is off house arrest. There are really too many unknowns right now for me to agree to any specific rule. difficult child knnows the standard stuff and the jist of it. (He knows because expectations were written at home when we set up a system for him to earn an allowance.) But, given his previous charges and actions and stuff he tends to do when he's unstable and restitution I am still paying, unless the therapist and legal authorities put it in writing that they will take legal and financial responsibility for anything difficult child does when oout alone/with friends, they can all forget me ever giving a blanket agreement to let him have a certain amount of hours with friends a week, or whatever. I need to know the friend, what their plans are, establish when he will be back, and have a good feeling that he is not acting impulsively. No blankeet agreements from me on that one until difficult child turns into a easy child and I cannot "list" a time frame for that.