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Meltdown at Hospital
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<blockquote data-quote="meowbunny" data-source="post: 82794" data-attributes="member: 3626"><p>I've been in your shoes. The only difference was my daughter could control her rages -- there was no medication that helped her. They helped me because they sedated her, but that isn't what I wanted. If a medication wasn't specifically needed for an underlying condition, I didn't want her medicated. Sadly, her issues were behavorial. Your son has underlying conditions that do need medication. They may not always help, though. I'm glad you had a safe room for him. (I was the one who suggested the safe room.)</p><p></p><p>For my daughter, her "safe room" was her bedroom. Her mattress was on the floor. She had a few soft toys in the room. The rest were in another room I called her playroom (it also had a sofa she could sleep on if she wanted). I took anything hard or breakable out of her room. Her window had a transparent plastic sheet on it that I could quickly remove if there was a fire. I installed a cheap, plastic ceiling fixture for lighting. The door locked from the outside. I did paint the walls with rainbows, stars and flowers so that it still had some warmth and caring for her. </p><p></p><p>When I did this, I gently explained to my daughter that this was HER place. Here, she could go whenever she was upset or wanted to scream or needed to gain control of herself. She could go in it on her own if she wanted or I would escort there if she needed help. I did my best to not have her think of it as a place of punishment, but rather a save haven for her. </p><p></p><p>If she went in it by herself, she was free to leave when she felt she was ready. If I simply walked her to her room, she was again free to leave on her own. If she had to carried into it, the room would be locked but would be unlocked the second she was in control. (If she went back into a rage, she was simply put back in there.)</p><p></p><p>The other thing I did was explain to my neighbors that my daughter was having difficulties that, hopefully, would be under control in a year or two. I apologized for the noise but did want to reassure them that she was not being abused. If they ever had any doubts, I told to please call the police. I would take no offense and would understand perfectly.</p><p></p><p>When I made the safe room for my daughter, she was five. I honestly wish I had done it much earlier. The room existed until she was 10. When she first had it, she could rage up to 4 hours. Once she saw this was not working, the rages decreased in time. As I said, your son's issues are complicated by medical and chemical problems. Hopefully, you will be able to find the right mix of medication and therapy to help him.</p><p></p><p>To give you some hope, my daughter is now 20. She is not perfect, she can still yell loud enough to wake the dead two states over, but she has turned into a pretty remarkable young woman. She is finally talking about going to college with some very realistic ideas and goals. She never got into drugs beyond the very basic experimental stage. She has not been promiscuous even though she isn't an innocent, either. She is a hard worker. She no longer lies nor steals. So, don't give up. Changes can and do occur.</p><p></p><p>HUGS</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="meowbunny, post: 82794, member: 3626"] I've been in your shoes. The only difference was my daughter could control her rages -- there was no medication that helped her. They helped me because they sedated her, but that isn't what I wanted. If a medication wasn't specifically needed for an underlying condition, I didn't want her medicated. Sadly, her issues were behavorial. Your son has underlying conditions that do need medication. They may not always help, though. I'm glad you had a safe room for him. (I was the one who suggested the safe room.) For my daughter, her "safe room" was her bedroom. Her mattress was on the floor. She had a few soft toys in the room. The rest were in another room I called her playroom (it also had a sofa she could sleep on if she wanted). I took anything hard or breakable out of her room. Her window had a transparent plastic sheet on it that I could quickly remove if there was a fire. I installed a cheap, plastic ceiling fixture for lighting. The door locked from the outside. I did paint the walls with rainbows, stars and flowers so that it still had some warmth and caring for her. When I did this, I gently explained to my daughter that this was HER place. Here, she could go whenever she was upset or wanted to scream or needed to gain control of herself. She could go in it on her own if she wanted or I would escort there if she needed help. I did my best to not have her think of it as a place of punishment, but rather a save haven for her. If she went in it by herself, she was free to leave when she felt she was ready. If I simply walked her to her room, she was again free to leave on her own. If she had to carried into it, the room would be locked but would be unlocked the second she was in control. (If she went back into a rage, she was simply put back in there.) The other thing I did was explain to my neighbors that my daughter was having difficulties that, hopefully, would be under control in a year or two. I apologized for the noise but did want to reassure them that she was not being abused. If they ever had any doubts, I told to please call the police. I would take no offense and would understand perfectly. When I made the safe room for my daughter, she was five. I honestly wish I had done it much earlier. The room existed until she was 10. When she first had it, she could rage up to 4 hours. Once she saw this was not working, the rages decreased in time. As I said, your son's issues are complicated by medical and chemical problems. Hopefully, you will be able to find the right mix of medication and therapy to help him. To give you some hope, my daughter is now 20. She is not perfect, she can still yell loud enough to wake the dead two states over, but she has turned into a pretty remarkable young woman. She is finally talking about going to college with some very realistic ideas and goals. She never got into drugs beyond the very basic experimental stage. She has not been promiscuous even though she isn't an innocent, either. She is a hard worker. She no longer lies nor steals. So, don't give up. Changes can and do occur. HUGS [/QUOTE]
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