Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by Andy, Nov 30, 2008.

  1. Andy

    Andy Active Member

    How many of your difficult children need to memorize a part for a program? How well do they do this and how does it get done?

    My kids have weekly memory in school. We work on it Tuesdays - Fridays on the way to school. Both have done very well in memory using this practice time. difficult child has only been off a few of his - even last year in the midst of his anxiety episode he did very very well.

    Now that it is Christmas and he is in 6th grade (the last grade at this school), he is given a larger part to memorize for the Christmas program. Basically three paragraphs. We are still suppose to do a weekly verse but they are shorter during program practice weeks.

    The frustrating part is that we know he can do it. The problem is finding the time to help him. According to him, he is the only one in the entire school that has not had his part memorized before Thanksgiving vacation. I told him that I really don't care who has and hasn't gotten it done by now because it is not due to be memorized until tomorrow's practice. The other kids had best shut up if they are giving him a bad time about this. (They can start teasing him tomorrow if it is not done and I am so angry at his stupid attitude about working on it that I don't care if they do - he had his chance and then some).

    I have never pushed memorization in Sunday School (we don't do it). When easy child was young, I am sure I remember she had two (2) memory verses per week for school so I was not going to add the third.

    On Thanksgiving evening, difficult child asked if I would take him downstairs to practice his memory. It was so horrid. His whining and complaining. I gave up. I told him that it was not worth listening to his gripping. He can be the only one that doesn't know his part. If he wanted me to help, he had to 1st write it all out (he hates writing and I can't get it through to him that when he writes something it helps with the remembering - even if you never read it again.) and 2nd he can not whine while I am helping.

    He wrote it all out (all three paragraphs) and it was then time to go back upstairs. We didn't get another chance to work on it all weekend. I left it with him when I left yesterday with instructions for husband to help him with it.

    They get home and husband goes to work. husband called later to see how the memorization was going. difficult child is doing a great job! Did they actually follow my instructions to work on it without me? They both say "no". He has almost all of it memorized! How did he do that? Do you think his writing it out helped that much? Or did someone really work with him on it even though he says they did not?

    I stopped helping easy child with memory after 6th grade. I hope I can stop helping difficult child after this year. He is facing Confirmation which I think has memory? I don't know how much longer I can help in this area. I know if he was horrid on a weekly/daily basis as we practiced, I would just tell the teacher to go ahead and fail him in memory.

    What do you do to help your difficult child memorize a part for a program?
  2. Jena

    Jena New Member


    I know what you mean with memorization, I work on this with difficult child on her part in the upcoming "annie" play she'll be in in January. What works best for her is we both say it, she repeats it and than she writes it. Writing seems to be a direct link to her memorization. She isn't a verbal/auditory learner, she is more the written word. She has short term memory defencies also. So, we drill once and again and again again.

    I also find the a.m. after breakfast the best time for memorization as opposed to the night or in the middle of the day.

    I hope that helps. :)
  3. KTMom91

    KTMom91 Well-Known Member

    Miss KT is more of an auditory learner; when she reads something, it bounces around without ever connecting with her brain, then dribbles out again. If she's told, step by step, she's all right.

    Writing it out could very well have helped that much, even though he hated writing it!
  4. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    The older my son gets, the harder it is to get him to let me help him. And like many difficult child's, my son does have memory issues. He's a smart kid in many ways and sometimes his memory issues seem minimal, but other times, they are a major problem and then it snowballs because he can't stand it and tries to cover it up by giving up or not trying. Sorry- that's a long way of saying that I have no idea how to help with this, but I feel your pain!!
  5. Nancy423

    Nancy423 do I have to be the mom?

    My difficult child has never had a good memory - they say she is similar to an Alzeimer's patient. Parts of her brain aren't showing any activity, but it also looks like other parts are trying to compensate. Her memory has "lucid" moments.

    What works for one person may not for another. See if he's got any ideas to help him with- remembering. My difficult child likes to make her own flash cards and she'll write things down (although she has lots of problems with- it) especially when studying for a test. Also breaking it down into little pieces might make it more manageable. Memorizing smaller sequences is easier on the brain.