neednewtechnique
New Member
Direct quote from the OH SO HELPFUL police department in our city here in wonderful Indiana.... "Well, its illegal to POSESS marijuana...but it isn't illegal to have it in your SYSTEM!!"
When I called the police department yesterday, I explained to them that while I had found the drug "ITEMS", I had not yet been able to locate the actual DRUGS, but that I wanted to take difficult child 1 and have her tested...I asked them if the combination of possessing the ITEMS and the positive drug test would be enough for them to make a case. And the above quote was what I got in response to that question... So apparently the LESSON here is....if you want to do all the drugs you want and NOT get into trouble...SMOKE IT NOW because its only illegal if you have it and DONT use it right away....!?!?!?!?!?
This is NOT what I want to teach difficult child 1 about her newly acquired interest in drugs.
Of course, this same police officer was kind enough to warn me that if I tried to talk to difficult child on my own about what I found, that she might get angry...and since she is prone to violent outbursts when she gets angry...they would be available to come and arrest her for battery if she decides to hit me...
So now I have to figure out what to do about all this mess...plus have a talk with husband about what we plan to do about her visitation with bio mom...because mom lives about an hour away, and the new friends she has made by her mom's are her "suppliers"...
While I still believe that bio mom has a right to see difficult child 1, I believe that if she is going to have visits with her, there needs to be some assurance that she is being adequately supervised during visits, and that she is fulfilling the PURPOSE of those visits, which is supposed to be spending time with bio mom...not running off doing drugs with her friends. And really...bio mom's LOOOOONG history in the drug world would make you think that she cannot be OBLIVIOUS to the fact that difficult child 1 is high the whole time she is there...so either she is not paying ANY attention, or she knows and isn't doing anything about it. EITHER of those things is NOT OKAY!!
I am not about to be naive enough to believe that she isn't doing some drugs here too...obviously, or she wouldn't be bringing her supplies HOME with her. But you know at least we are aware of the problem and are trying to work on holding her accountable for those actions.
Sorry, okay this was my little RANT for the day. I have been reading online about how parents should have "the talk" with their teens about drugs, and OBVIOUSLY none of these "experts" has ever raised a difficult child. They will not respond to this conversation the way a easy child kid would, so if ANYONE has any advice on how to bring this up with difficult child 1...I would SO appreciate the advice. Im so frustrated because this definitely needs to go on the "A" list of things that are DEFINITELY not going to be tolerated in the house...but I don't really have any way of enforcing consequences for her. Natural consequences apparently don't exist for doing drugs unless you haven't done them yet, and NOTHING that we say or do seems to make a difference in ANY consequences..
When I called the police department yesterday, I explained to them that while I had found the drug "ITEMS", I had not yet been able to locate the actual DRUGS, but that I wanted to take difficult child 1 and have her tested...I asked them if the combination of possessing the ITEMS and the positive drug test would be enough for them to make a case. And the above quote was what I got in response to that question... So apparently the LESSON here is....if you want to do all the drugs you want and NOT get into trouble...SMOKE IT NOW because its only illegal if you have it and DONT use it right away....!?!?!?!?!?
This is NOT what I want to teach difficult child 1 about her newly acquired interest in drugs.
Of course, this same police officer was kind enough to warn me that if I tried to talk to difficult child on my own about what I found, that she might get angry...and since she is prone to violent outbursts when she gets angry...they would be available to come and arrest her for battery if she decides to hit me...
So now I have to figure out what to do about all this mess...plus have a talk with husband about what we plan to do about her visitation with bio mom...because mom lives about an hour away, and the new friends she has made by her mom's are her "suppliers"...
While I still believe that bio mom has a right to see difficult child 1, I believe that if she is going to have visits with her, there needs to be some assurance that she is being adequately supervised during visits, and that she is fulfilling the PURPOSE of those visits, which is supposed to be spending time with bio mom...not running off doing drugs with her friends. And really...bio mom's LOOOOONG history in the drug world would make you think that she cannot be OBLIVIOUS to the fact that difficult child 1 is high the whole time she is there...so either she is not paying ANY attention, or she knows and isn't doing anything about it. EITHER of those things is NOT OKAY!!
I am not about to be naive enough to believe that she isn't doing some drugs here too...obviously, or she wouldn't be bringing her supplies HOME with her. But you know at least we are aware of the problem and are trying to work on holding her accountable for those actions.
Sorry, okay this was my little RANT for the day. I have been reading online about how parents should have "the talk" with their teens about drugs, and OBVIOUSLY none of these "experts" has ever raised a difficult child. They will not respond to this conversation the way a easy child kid would, so if ANYONE has any advice on how to bring this up with difficult child 1...I would SO appreciate the advice. Im so frustrated because this definitely needs to go on the "A" list of things that are DEFINITELY not going to be tolerated in the house...but I don't really have any way of enforcing consequences for her. Natural consequences apparently don't exist for doing drugs unless you haven't done them yet, and NOTHING that we say or do seems to make a difference in ANY consequences..
