misc. updates

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by buddy, Nov 9, 2012.

  1. buddy

    buddy New Member

    First, thanks for being there when I was so overwhelmed by having to go look at that school the other day, it was so stressful and the tears just kept welling up. I couldn't believe I was in that position less than a year later.

    Anyway just thought I'd share little bits of things that have happened since...

    I have another school to look at on Tuesday. Again, I'll go to be cooperative but I made it very clear that my goal is to once and for all work on the skills he needs to be able to succeed. If he is moved, it will be a matter of weeks when the team is called together over some concern for some behavior. There is always something and that is the very reason he is in this Special Education. district in the first place!

    So, the advocate wrote a letter saying she and I were very upset about the whole idea of moving Q when the functions of the behaviors have not truly been examined, it is such a new placement, no systematic positive behavior strategies have been tried, etc. She also called our home district and the sp ed director did not hesitate saying yes to having an independent behavior analyst come and do an fba. It is actually the same person who started at our old middle school and never got to finish because the incident where Q got injured happened shortly after she started. So, the hope is that the contracting district will be open to the idea. They are typically the ones people use for this, but they are having a struggle and need to know when even they are out of their league. How lucky am I to have a kid that a district contracted by nine other large metro districts use as their specialists for all of their unique learners....who baffles even them.

    Yet, in another breath they will say, well he is not our toughest kid. blah blah....so why the big issue?

    Anyway, as I said, I did hear that the district did call the ranch owner and is trying to arrange a time for him to come with Q and see if they can work some kind of vocational experience out.

    On another front, Our home psychologist is in a post grad class that involves the department of health and the university. ( I may have said this so sorry if repeating). They have a grant to work on positive behavioral interventions in people's lives. So, the adviser that he was assigned (after choosing Q and me to work with) ends up being my grad. school adviser from a million years ago. He is a true clinician though and his research is very down to earth, in the trenches kinds of work. He always worked with the people that others gave up on and I was actually part of a US training grant with him when I was there ...we, the Speech Language Pathologist (SLP) students were paired with special needs teaching grad school students and our goal was to work in true multidisciplinary partnerships with students who needed alternative communication systems. It was a fabulous experience and so I have lots of faith in this.

    Today the psychologist said he talked to the univ. guy (I'll call him dr. J) and he said he is willing to come to all IEP meetings, home, out with Integrated Listening Systems (ILS) workers, wherever...and will provide technical assistance for at least a year and longer if we need it. The goal of their work is far beyond school....reaching to vocational and residential life for the "subjects" so, even though we are bringing the other behavior analyst into the school, I will invite them and our district already said that the more minds that come together the better. Dr J is well known and is a go to guy nationally so a part of me is hoping that the current serving district will not want to look like they are doing a half donkeyed job in front of him and the dept of human services....ONE CAN HOPE, right? I am not ashamed to use every angle necessary on behalf of Q. He has had the short end of the stick in many things, esp. educationally, so for his sake I am comfortable with any positive results from this.

    Random thought, I just opened my email from school. Q's teacher is gone today and Mon. The note said Q had an awesome day. Started to have a little power struggle around noon and turned it around and had a great day the rest of the day.

    He has had no physical aggression at all this week. Lots more verbal stuff (still what they describe is NOTHING like what it was...they really have no clue how much better he is) which is what the pattern has been his whole life. There seems to be a need for a release valve. If they can just keep stress low and not attend much to the verbals they naturally subside but if he is told to stop it then he says his brain feels like it will explode. Every single time a program has started to work on reducing the verbals by directly addressing them, his physical aggression has increased. Overall his physical is so so so much better compared to a year ago (when we were in the psychiatric hospital at this time) and they only have the few months they know him to consider....but for Q he is MILES from where he was a year ago.

    Not just what he is not doing but what he IS doing.

    School work, School voc jobs, less aggression, better transitions, continued improvement in horse therapy etc.

    Interesting that he had such a great day when his teacher was gone. Usually sub days are not good, I have wondered from summer if this guy was a good match for Q and I think the whole thing where the school director was told I said Q couldn't be touched came from him saying that. I think he says slightly different things to different people and I do not trust him at all. He can be nice and Q generally likes him, but I think he struggles what to do with Q and it would just be easier if he didn't have him as a student. Boy have I become cynical.

    Well, thanks for listening, you guys are just the best and I KNOW I would not be ok right now if I didn't always know you had my back.
  2. InsaneCdn

    InsaneCdn Well-Known Member

    Buddy, that sounds SO awesome. So glad you are adding more fantastic people to your already great team. Yes, Q deserves it... but so do you.

    Good will come of this yet. Maybe even for YOU, as well as Q!

    We're glad to be leaning posts, especially for you. You do such a good job of supporting the rest of us...
  3. Malika

    Malika Well-Known Member

    Buddy, it is really good to hear a bit of good news, a sense of some light appearing at the end of this long tunnel. You certainly could do with some upturns!! I so hope it works out for the ranch, or at any rate that a clear path is now laid down to give Q a constructive, wholesome future where he could possibly play a role in his community. As we keep telling you, you're a great advocate for your boy and a superb example of motherhood against the odds, as it were. One of my long term plans is to have a summer in the US/Canada so I hope we will get to meet your supreme personnage in the flesh one day :)
  4. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    One thing you said resonated with me. You said who is verbal stuff is down some from where it has been but they really dont get it. I had that same experience with Cory. Cory ended up expelled from school because he called his gym teacher a "cracker". Now I realize that isnt the nicest term but Cory is mostly white himself and to look at him and on his BC it says white. The teacher was white. Of all the words Cory has uttered in school, mostly cuss words that are far worse than that, to be expelled over the word cracker simply cracked me up. I looked at that principal in disbelief. I asked him if he had read his record? The fact that the cracker didnt begin with MF was a huge improvement in my eyes...lol. But no, cracker was enough to kick him out. I have no idea where he heard the term either. Im assuming at school since it was about 70% indian, 20%black and 10%white.
  5. Bunny

    Bunny Guest

    The work with Dr. J sounds so promising. I'm crossing my fingers that this will be what Q needs.
  6. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    Yeeaaaah for the home psychiatric in the post grad class!

    Boo for: Yet, in another breath they will say, well he is not our toughest kid. blah blah....so why the big issue?

    I sure hope this works out. I know it's a bit of a drive, but if it's what you're looking for, it will be worth it. Fingers crossed.
  7. Signorina

    Signorina Guest

    Buddy - I am so glad you are feeling less discouraged.
  8. Calamity Jane

    Calamity Jane Well-Known Member

    I'm still very hopeful for you guys, Buddy. Sending hugs to you...glad you're doing a bit better today.
  9. buddy

    buddy New Member

    Oh my wow Janet. I'm sure we all felt like banging our heads reading that. I sometimes wonder if not having common sense is a job requirement for principals.