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Mom needs help with detaching from son
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<blockquote data-quote="luane" data-source="post: 633157" data-attributes="member: 18252"><p>I finally made the decision to offer to help my son with a bit of money to help with rent if he went to a sober living home I approved of, and went to school. I also invited him by email to join my husband and myself in a church based recovery program. Not only did he show up uninvited after I told him to stay away, but he has decided to move back in with truly horrible people who don't care about him and make him stay in their broken down laundry room. Needless to say the church program is out. I am so tired of him making the stupidist, impulsive, horrible decisions over and over again. He came by here very angry and my easy child, who had stopped by, said he smelled beer on his breath, after difficult child told him he had no money even for gas..his uncle died of alcoholism and his cousin died of drugs. All these years I've kept thinking it was just a pot problem and that he would grow out of it. Apparently those 6 months of sobriety at my house just finally got him to rebel against all of it and now he will be back with those people, barely eating , barely surviving, drinking , doing drugs of whatever type. I fear that he will, never, ever figure it out and he will turn into (already well on his way) the kind of person me and my entire family wouldn't ever want to be around. It is so sad as he has been given brains, good looks, loving family and he is throwing it away to live alone, without all the good things in life, love , happiness... He doesn't even have good friends or a girlfriend. I am sorry , I am going on and on, but it is so dang SAD! I guess he needs to hit bottom, I just fear, as I'm sure you all do, what that bottom may be..I know he will come knocking on my door probably in horrible shape and I must have the strength to turn him away...</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="luane, post: 633157, member: 18252"] I finally made the decision to offer to help my son with a bit of money to help with rent if he went to a sober living home I approved of, and went to school. I also invited him by email to join my husband and myself in a church based recovery program. Not only did he show up uninvited after I told him to stay away, but he has decided to move back in with truly horrible people who don't care about him and make him stay in their broken down laundry room. Needless to say the church program is out. I am so tired of him making the stupidist, impulsive, horrible decisions over and over again. He came by here very angry and my easy child, who had stopped by, said he smelled beer on his breath, after difficult child told him he had no money even for gas..his uncle died of alcoholism and his cousin died of drugs. All these years I've kept thinking it was just a pot problem and that he would grow out of it. Apparently those 6 months of sobriety at my house just finally got him to rebel against all of it and now he will be back with those people, barely eating , barely surviving, drinking , doing drugs of whatever type. I fear that he will, never, ever figure it out and he will turn into (already well on his way) the kind of person me and my entire family wouldn't ever want to be around. It is so sad as he has been given brains, good looks, loving family and he is throwing it away to live alone, without all the good things in life, love , happiness... He doesn't even have good friends or a girlfriend. I am sorry , I am going on and on, but it is so dang SAD! I guess he needs to hit bottom, I just fear, as I'm sure you all do, what that bottom may be..I know he will come knocking on my door probably in horrible shape and I must have the strength to turn him away... [/QUOTE]
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