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Substance Abuse
Mon At the End of My Rope
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<blockquote data-quote="Rumpole" data-source="post: 552085" data-attributes="member: 15255"><p>Hi Nancy,</p><p></p><p>Thanks for the comprehensive reply. I apologise if it came across as though I was saying that you difficult children were kicked out by parents because they didn't care about them. That was definitely the furthest thing from my mind. </p><p></p><p>I suppose I have a vague feeling that many parents are given advice along those lines at the point where one must choose between your own sanity and peace of mind, and your child. I think if someone's child has become unmanageably disruptive, abusive, and so on, then this is of course the best thing to do. I was in fact kicked out myself for some time, so your description of most difficult child parents of course rings true. But my observation was that, during this period, nothing got done in terms of treatment, education, work etc, and so I tend to be skeptical of claims that it's actually in the difficult child's best interests. I think it's more a case of "For my own sanity, I have to do this otherwise you're going to drag me down with you". That's perfectly justifiable, so I buck at the suggestion of putting a therapeutic or educational motive onto what is already acceptable reason to do it.</p><p></p><p>Just to tack back to law school and high school, I did in fact leave school when I was 15, and ended up going back. I still procrastinate constantly and leave things to the last minute, I still cause my Mum to worry because I forget to respond to text messages and the like.... the only thing that's different to when I was a bona fide difficult child is that I've learned to manage the chaos so that nothing ever gets close to causing the whole thing to capsize. </p><p></p><p>It's still pretty chaotic, but I think there's also enough in there that I value, and I've learned enough about what's worthwhile in life since then, to make the effort to keep it on that fine balance. Death didn't seem to register when I was 17 and using heroin, and jail was unlikely as police in Australia tend not to charge users for possession where that's the only crime. Even if it was possible, I don't think I would have paid attention. What you say is correct, I meant to suggest that it won't act as an inducement for someone in the throes of addiction. </p><p></p><p>What I know in hindsight would have induced me as a 17-year old would be to describe my life now, tell him what you can do with a modicum of effort and without any chemical assistance, that in exchange for giving up heroin you get real freedom (financially, in terms of travel, socially etc), experiences, memories, anecdotes, that are far more gratifying than drugs. I know now how important it is to have a clear direction and path in life, so that you always know where you're going.</p><p></p><p>R</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Rumpole, post: 552085, member: 15255"] Hi Nancy, Thanks for the comprehensive reply. I apologise if it came across as though I was saying that you difficult children were kicked out by parents because they didn't care about them. That was definitely the furthest thing from my mind. I suppose I have a vague feeling that many parents are given advice along those lines at the point where one must choose between your own sanity and peace of mind, and your child. I think if someone's child has become unmanageably disruptive, abusive, and so on, then this is of course the best thing to do. I was in fact kicked out myself for some time, so your description of most difficult child parents of course rings true. But my observation was that, during this period, nothing got done in terms of treatment, education, work etc, and so I tend to be skeptical of claims that it's actually in the difficult child's best interests. I think it's more a case of "For my own sanity, I have to do this otherwise you're going to drag me down with you". That's perfectly justifiable, so I buck at the suggestion of putting a therapeutic or educational motive onto what is already acceptable reason to do it. Just to tack back to law school and high school, I did in fact leave school when I was 15, and ended up going back. I still procrastinate constantly and leave things to the last minute, I still cause my Mum to worry because I forget to respond to text messages and the like.... the only thing that's different to when I was a bona fide difficult child is that I've learned to manage the chaos so that nothing ever gets close to causing the whole thing to capsize. It's still pretty chaotic, but I think there's also enough in there that I value, and I've learned enough about what's worthwhile in life since then, to make the effort to keep it on that fine balance. Death didn't seem to register when I was 17 and using heroin, and jail was unlikely as police in Australia tend not to charge users for possession where that's the only crime. Even if it was possible, I don't think I would have paid attention. What you say is correct, I meant to suggest that it won't act as an inducement for someone in the throes of addiction. What I know in hindsight would have induced me as a 17-year old would be to describe my life now, tell him what you can do with a modicum of effort and without any chemical assistance, that in exchange for giving up heroin you get real freedom (financially, in terms of travel, socially etc), experiences, memories, anecdotes, that are far more gratifying than drugs. I know now how important it is to have a clear direction and path in life, so that you always know where you're going. R [/QUOTE]
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