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Moody adult daughter?
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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 743370" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>I agree with all of this:</p><p></p><p>But I still believe this mother should not be mistreated if the daughter invited her to her home specifically that the mother should help her. There is basic decency involved. No matter what happened between them the daughter is responsible for behaving like a reasonable human.</p><p></p><p>Now. It could be that the perceptions of the mother are skewed, by defensiveness or guilt, or need, or selfishness, or whatever. After all, we mothers are human. In that case, we each of us need to examine ourselves.</p><p></p><p>I agree with Nora, because the only way this will change is to take 100 percent of the responsibility and 100 percent of the risks. Why? Relationships are always this way. We cannot ask for that which we are unwilling to give. Any problem in a relationship is best solved by taking responsibility for the whole and telling one's whole truth. People let down their defenses and tell the truth. Hearts do not open by tit for tat. They open when another heart opens to them.</p><p></p><p>All of this is the mother's responsibility: to either set limits and stay away or be the bigger person. I think this is what Nora means.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 743370, member: 18958"] I agree with all of this: But I still believe this mother should not be mistreated if the daughter invited her to her home specifically that the mother should help her. There is basic decency involved. No matter what happened between them the daughter is responsible for behaving like a reasonable human. Now. It could be that the perceptions of the mother are skewed, by defensiveness or guilt, or need, or selfishness, or whatever. After all, we mothers are human. In that case, we each of us need to examine ourselves. I agree with Nora, because the only way this will change is to take 100 percent of the responsibility and 100 percent of the risks. Why? Relationships are always this way. We cannot ask for that which we are unwilling to give. Any problem in a relationship is best solved by taking responsibility for the whole and telling one's whole truth. People let down their defenses and tell the truth. Hearts do not open by tit for tat. They open when another heart opens to them. All of this is the mother's responsibility: to either set limits and stay away or be the bigger person. I think this is what Nora means. [/QUOTE]
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