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moral delemma
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<blockquote data-quote="klmno" data-source="post: 193300" data-attributes="member: 3699"><p>Janet, I keep reading your post and this keeps popping out at me:</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>My only reaction is that I can't see a single effort on their part to do that- especially this intern. I am not one to give blind trust and faith where my difficult child is concerned and given how critical his situation is right now and especially after going thru so many tdocs the past (almost) 3 years, I do need to see from a therapist that they respect that.</p><p></p><p>The poster who mentioned orientation- that might be onto something. One therapist always answered my questions with questions and that drove me nuts. Most make me feel like we're being manipulated into buying into their agenda. I don't trust anyone who makes me feel manipulated. And yes, a lot of this was the same type issue I went through when I was looking for a counselor for myself. I know it works for a lot of people- I don't question that, but if it was a magic cure, none of us would need to be here, right? The counselor I had (many moons ago) made me feel like we were just talking- she answered my questions with real answers, even if the answer was "I don't know", she still lead me through processes, but she did it by saying "I'd like for you to try XXX", not by manipulating me into doing something. So, if there is a name for that orientation, methodology or type of therapuetic approach, and someone can tell me what it is, I would love to know it so I can ask for that. I know to ask for CBT (cognitive behavioral therapy), which is pretty common- although not used as much with kids as with adults. This intern clearly has those skills and I was really starting to have some faith that this one might work because of it. So, I am assuming that leaving feeling manipulated instead of leveled with has nothing to do with methodology but lack of communication or just not being on the same page and having different expectations of what was going to transpire. But I could be wrong- I was shocked to learn "behavior contracts" are considered therapy by some.</p><p></p><p>I took a lot of things that you and others here brought up as points to discuss with this intern- one being that we already use rewards at home and of course, there are rules and consequences, and what is in place works fairly well most of the time. I just don't want the entire point and focus of the therapy to be a behavioral contract, like with that mst guy, because we have had a therapist in the past who focused only on behavior modification (that is actually one type of therapy in itself) and that was a disaster, too- even the sd people who know difficult child fairly well said they didn't think that was a good idea for difficult child and his issues.</p><p></p><p>I realize that any therapy is a process and it takes time that is dependent on the issues, those involved, etc., but I do have a real fear of still being there talking about casseroles or whether or not difficult child got an extended bedtime come January, when difficult child's cycling has started to kick in late winter for the past 3 years- so yes, I feel a sense of urgency to <strong><em>start</em></strong> discussing thses things and get off my cigarettes! LOL!</p><p></p><p>I know- I'm writing a book here. Sorry...</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="klmno, post: 193300, member: 3699"] Janet, I keep reading your post and this keeps popping out at me: My only reaction is that I can't see a single effort on their part to do that- especially this intern. I am not one to give blind trust and faith where my difficult child is concerned and given how critical his situation is right now and especially after going thru so many tdocs the past (almost) 3 years, I do need to see from a therapist that they respect that. The poster who mentioned orientation- that might be onto something. One therapist always answered my questions with questions and that drove me nuts. Most make me feel like we're being manipulated into buying into their agenda. I don't trust anyone who makes me feel manipulated. And yes, a lot of this was the same type issue I went through when I was looking for a counselor for myself. I know it works for a lot of people- I don't question that, but if it was a magic cure, none of us would need to be here, right? The counselor I had (many moons ago) made me feel like we were just talking- she answered my questions with real answers, even if the answer was "I don't know", she still lead me through processes, but she did it by saying "I'd like for you to try XXX", not by manipulating me into doing something. So, if there is a name for that orientation, methodology or type of therapuetic approach, and someone can tell me what it is, I would love to know it so I can ask for that. I know to ask for CBT (cognitive behavioral therapy), which is pretty common- although not used as much with kids as with adults. This intern clearly has those skills and I was really starting to have some faith that this one might work because of it. So, I am assuming that leaving feeling manipulated instead of leveled with has nothing to do with methodology but lack of communication or just not being on the same page and having different expectations of what was going to transpire. But I could be wrong- I was shocked to learn "behavior contracts" are considered therapy by some. I took a lot of things that you and others here brought up as points to discuss with this intern- one being that we already use rewards at home and of course, there are rules and consequences, and what is in place works fairly well most of the time. I just don't want the entire point and focus of the therapy to be a behavioral contract, like with that mst guy, because we have had a therapist in the past who focused only on behavior modification (that is actually one type of therapy in itself) and that was a disaster, too- even the sd people who know difficult child fairly well said they didn't think that was a good idea for difficult child and his issues. I realize that any therapy is a process and it takes time that is dependent on the issues, those involved, etc., but I do have a real fear of still being there talking about casseroles or whether or not difficult child got an extended bedtime come January, when difficult child's cycling has started to kick in late winter for the past 3 years- so yes, I feel a sense of urgency to [B][I]start[/I][/B] discussing thses things and get off my cigarettes! LOL! I know- I'm writing a book here. Sorry... [/QUOTE]
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