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<blockquote data-quote="Shari" data-source="post: 464239" data-attributes="member: 1848"><p>'Member when I told husband a week or two back to go home? He's been busy since. I rattled off an entire sheet of stuff that needed to be done that night and he is doing it. As in, still is. Probably 1/3 of that list has been addresssed in some fashion. Some of it is completed. I am still not sure that I expect it to continue, but this is longer and different than it has before, and he has made reference to needing to make changes without being ugly and defensive about it. That is more than he has done since things have been ugly. I'm not holding my breathe, and I won't take on this fight for him - he has to. And if he goes back to sitting his butt in the chair, he can go home. But as long as he's trying (truly trying - and what he's doing right now is truly trying), I will work <em>with </em>him. </p><p></p><p>I do get what you're saying tho, Step. And with her at her mom's, taking that big step back has been wonderful. I can go along with the parents who are ignoring that she's failing 2 classes already (maybe they don't even know - I don't know. Don't care. I'm not telling anyone.) All's hunky dory as long as I pretend I don't care/don't know, too! lol</p><p></p><p>That said, first thing I did last night when she text me? Read the texts to husband.</p><p></p><p>Second, asked if she was ok where she was until her time to be here again. She said yes.</p><p></p><p>Third, told husband what I said above. I will NOT live in that. So while I will gladly support this endeavor, there are my limits. Understand this is a deal-breaker, and we won't be co-habitating if he moves her in and continues double standards between her and Wee.</p><p></p><p>In fact, I left last night for a bit and when I got home, he had something Wee can't watch on tv, and had left the tv on in the kitchen, which is visible from Wee's room (he was watching in the living room). Wee had long since been asleep, so I'm sure he did not see it, but I called husband on it, and he jumped up and shut down the kitchen tv and apologized, and called himself out on the fact that he'd have gotten onto Wee for leaving the tv on, and here he did it himself. Definitely not the behavior that has become his norm when something gets pointed out.</p><p></p><p>And easy child 1 and I were talking last night, and he said he saw husband using the big truck over the weekend, and he drove it much more appropriately. He asked if there was something wrong with the truck. lol </p><p></p><p>I have no idea where it will go from here. None. And that's surprisingly ok with me, too.</p><p></p><p>And no, I will not stay for cgfg's benefit. I did for difficult child 1, because he didn't have parents that would even meet his basic needs. And I should have taken him and run long before I did. Cgfg, while being taught what I think are some pretty miserable things, has a home, goes to school, and gets fed. (and quite frankly, if husband and I split, I have very little doubt that either husband or cgfg's mom would prevent me from continuing a relationship with cgfg...)</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Shari, post: 464239, member: 1848"] 'Member when I told husband a week or two back to go home? He's been busy since. I rattled off an entire sheet of stuff that needed to be done that night and he is doing it. As in, still is. Probably 1/3 of that list has been addresssed in some fashion. Some of it is completed. I am still not sure that I expect it to continue, but this is longer and different than it has before, and he has made reference to needing to make changes without being ugly and defensive about it. That is more than he has done since things have been ugly. I'm not holding my breathe, and I won't take on this fight for him - he has to. And if he goes back to sitting his butt in the chair, he can go home. But as long as he's trying (truly trying - and what he's doing right now is truly trying), I will work [I]with [/I]him. I do get what you're saying tho, Step. And with her at her mom's, taking that big step back has been wonderful. I can go along with the parents who are ignoring that she's failing 2 classes already (maybe they don't even know - I don't know. Don't care. I'm not telling anyone.) All's hunky dory as long as I pretend I don't care/don't know, too! lol That said, first thing I did last night when she text me? Read the texts to husband. Second, asked if she was ok where she was until her time to be here again. She said yes. Third, told husband what I said above. I will NOT live in that. So while I will gladly support this endeavor, there are my limits. Understand this is a deal-breaker, and we won't be co-habitating if he moves her in and continues double standards between her and Wee. In fact, I left last night for a bit and when I got home, he had something Wee can't watch on tv, and had left the tv on in the kitchen, which is visible from Wee's room (he was watching in the living room). Wee had long since been asleep, so I'm sure he did not see it, but I called husband on it, and he jumped up and shut down the kitchen tv and apologized, and called himself out on the fact that he'd have gotten onto Wee for leaving the tv on, and here he did it himself. Definitely not the behavior that has become his norm when something gets pointed out. And easy child 1 and I were talking last night, and he said he saw husband using the big truck over the weekend, and he drove it much more appropriately. He asked if there was something wrong with the truck. lol I have no idea where it will go from here. None. And that's surprisingly ok with me, too. And no, I will not stay for cgfg's benefit. I did for difficult child 1, because he didn't have parents that would even meet his basic needs. And I should have taken him and run long before I did. Cgfg, while being taught what I think are some pretty miserable things, has a home, goes to school, and gets fed. (and quite frankly, if husband and I split, I have very little doubt that either husband or cgfg's mom would prevent me from continuing a relationship with cgfg...) [/QUOTE]
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