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More right than I thought
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<blockquote data-quote="DammitJanet" data-source="post: 157036" data-attributes="member: 1514"><p>K...I just went back and found the post. </p><p></p><p>I am going to try and explain some stuff and maybe it will help and maybe it wont...who knows. I am going to try to explain it from both the perspective of someone with bipolar and the parent of a person with bipolar ok? </p><p></p><p>I may get things jumbled at times so it may not make a whole lot of sense because Im not real stable myself right now but Im going to do my level best.</p><p></p><p>Dont expect the legal system to much care about a diagnosis like bipolar. Bipolar without psychosis...and by psychosis I mean where he is hallucinating to the point of staring into corners talking to the walls crazy...isnt going to impress them much. He is going to be considered legally sane by the legal definition. It doesnt much matter to them the whys of what he did. That only matters to us. The diagnosis does give them a bit of leeway in sentencing him which they actually like because the juvenile corrections departments are so full so if they can keep his points down and give him probation and get him to comply with treatment its a plus in their book. They dont have to understand the ins and outs of that treatment. They basically put everything down to a conduct disorder which in actuality the treatment can help. </p><p></p><p>A bipolar person has to learn that even though they have this disorder it isnt a free pass to behave badly. They may be cycling but they cant commit a crime and hand the cops a card saying...lookie...Im bipolar...get out of jail free! It doesnt work that way. I wish it did!!!! Right now Im so irritable I would love to just go gun it on the highway and take out some of my aggression but Im sure I would get pulled over for speeding and my "get out of jail free card" is only good in monopoly. See...I have learned that lesson...my son hasnt. </p><p></p><p>Therapy only helps if the person in therapy wants it to help. I took Cory to therapy for years and it didnt do one bit of good. I went to therapy when I was younger and it did no good...of course I have no clue what I was diagnosed with because we cant find the records. I went to therapy as an adult and they didnt help me at all. It was only in the last two years that I found a therapist that I clicked with that I have made any progress at all. I went to her kicking and screaming...my mind was made up that I would go for a few weeks just to say I had given it one last try...but I was amazed that she won me over...lol. Now I am a fan of therapy...but only if a person wants to be there and its the right therapist. Personally I think a therapist might do you more good than it does your son at this point by giving you ideas and tools to help him because at his age, I dont think he can access and process anything right now.</p><p></p><p>You say that you dont think behavior modification works for bipolar people...I dont agree. We have to learn to modify our behavior to societies standards because society isnt going to change for us. A team approach were everyone in your sons life is on the same page about what is appropriate behavior and what consequences/rewards will be in place can be invaluable. This is almost like reteaching toddler behavior. Touch the stove, its hot, you get burned. Touch the tv, get told no, do it, get time out. dont touch it, get rewarded. He may need a shadow in school to help him out...he may also need one in the community. Most of this can be provided through either medicaid or the MST program in VA. </p><p></p><p>The shadow can be there to redirect him when his hypomania starts getting the best of him and he wants to make poor choices. They can literally ask him...is this a good choice or a bad choice. They can help him keep himself organized from one class to the next. They can be your eyes in the school so that if another student is egging difficult child on, they can redirect difficult child to another more appropriate activity away from that other student. This teaches your son better coping skills for life. In life we all have people that will annoy us to no end just to get a rise out of us and we have to learn to walk away no matter how badly we want to deck them. </p><p></p><p>Am I helping at all?</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="DammitJanet, post: 157036, member: 1514"] K...I just went back and found the post. I am going to try and explain some stuff and maybe it will help and maybe it wont...who knows. I am going to try to explain it from both the perspective of someone with bipolar and the parent of a person with bipolar ok? I may get things jumbled at times so it may not make a whole lot of sense because Im not real stable myself right now but Im going to do my level best. Dont expect the legal system to much care about a diagnosis like bipolar. Bipolar without psychosis...and by psychosis I mean where he is hallucinating to the point of staring into corners talking to the walls crazy...isnt going to impress them much. He is going to be considered legally sane by the legal definition. It doesnt much matter to them the whys of what he did. That only matters to us. The diagnosis does give them a bit of leeway in sentencing him which they actually like because the juvenile corrections departments are so full so if they can keep his points down and give him probation and get him to comply with treatment its a plus in their book. They dont have to understand the ins and outs of that treatment. They basically put everything down to a conduct disorder which in actuality the treatment can help. A bipolar person has to learn that even though they have this disorder it isnt a free pass to behave badly. They may be cycling but they cant commit a crime and hand the cops a card saying...lookie...Im bipolar...get out of jail free! It doesnt work that way. I wish it did!!!! Right now Im so irritable I would love to just go gun it on the highway and take out some of my aggression but Im sure I would get pulled over for speeding and my "get out of jail free card" is only good in monopoly. See...I have learned that lesson...my son hasnt. Therapy only helps if the person in therapy wants it to help. I took Cory to therapy for years and it didnt do one bit of good. I went to therapy when I was younger and it did no good...of course I have no clue what I was diagnosed with because we cant find the records. I went to therapy as an adult and they didnt help me at all. It was only in the last two years that I found a therapist that I clicked with that I have made any progress at all. I went to her kicking and screaming...my mind was made up that I would go for a few weeks just to say I had given it one last try...but I was amazed that she won me over...lol. Now I am a fan of therapy...but only if a person wants to be there and its the right therapist. Personally I think a therapist might do you more good than it does your son at this point by giving you ideas and tools to help him because at his age, I dont think he can access and process anything right now. You say that you dont think behavior modification works for bipolar people...I dont agree. We have to learn to modify our behavior to societies standards because society isnt going to change for us. A team approach were everyone in your sons life is on the same page about what is appropriate behavior and what consequences/rewards will be in place can be invaluable. This is almost like reteaching toddler behavior. Touch the stove, its hot, you get burned. Touch the tv, get told no, do it, get time out. dont touch it, get rewarded. He may need a shadow in school to help him out...he may also need one in the community. Most of this can be provided through either medicaid or the MST program in VA. The shadow can be there to redirect him when his hypomania starts getting the best of him and he wants to make poor choices. They can literally ask him...is this a good choice or a bad choice. They can help him keep himself organized from one class to the next. They can be your eyes in the school so that if another student is egging difficult child on, they can redirect difficult child to another more appropriate activity away from that other student. This teaches your son better coping skills for life. In life we all have people that will annoy us to no end just to get a rise out of us and we have to learn to walk away no matter how badly we want to deck them. Am I helping at all? [/QUOTE]
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