More Stress Anyone???? Help

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by Hound dog, Feb 10, 2009.

  1. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    K, her husband, and the grands have been living in a motel for months because they lost the house they were renting when her husband lost his job as a restaurant manager when the restaurant closed. He got another job as a dish washer that was supposed to "work" his way up to a manager. BUT the economy is so bad there that they haven't had enough business and he was once again found himself out of a job.

    To make this worse........The motel wants to remodel several rooms, including the one the kids have been renting, and want the kids to vacate. I'm betting they aren't offering another room because K's husband has no job.

    K and the grands will be homeless by the end of the week.

    She has tried the shelters. They're full. She has tried churches, and they're telling her right now it's members first and they're overwhelmed. Low Income housing still hasn't gotten back with her. She tried unemployment for her husband, they said he hasn't worked long enough to qualify. She is out of ideas.

    K stressed she is NOT requesting money and I did not offer. But she is getting panicked. Understandably so. I suggested going to welfare for emergency benefits. (they only had food stamps and insur) And bugging the h*ll out of the housing people.

    I need ideas, especially from anyone living in MO as to what is available. They only have her bio Mom there and I don't know but either she's not allowing them to come to her/or she is in the same situation. There is no other family/friends for them to go to. We're it and we're 3 states away.

    And I have no desire to bring them here. Nor am I planning on sending money.

    Ideas please. I have a panicky mother on my hands.

  2. flutterbee

    flutterbee Guest

    I do know that with housing assistance, homeless go to the top of the list after veterans. I think it's veterans, senior citizens, homeless with children.

    I'm so sorry she and her family are in this position.

  3. Star*

    Star* call 911

    For him?

    Day Labor - find all the local places that pay by the day -

    For her?

    Tell her to call a domestic violence shelter and see where she and the kids could be put up for a while. Not ideally the best solution.

    Tell her to show up at a church Sunday and BECOME a member. Then after services have the entire family STAY in the pew and explain to the pastor that they have NO WHERE, NO ONE, NOTHING.

    Call - Catholic family charities -

    Call - Lutheran Family Chairites

    Call - HER LOCAL OMBUDSMAN's office - call the governor......

    At the very least - they could find a motel and offer to clean and handyman for the room until things get better. Where? I dunno.

    I've been where she is and belive me - it's very scary - I really hope that her calls are JUST that - calls to a touchstone.

    I'm so sorry - it's going to be hard for everyone soon - and I'll keep them still in my prayers. It would be easy to say "well they deserve this" but there are millions of people out of work now - and it's tough on everyone

    Sending my biggest hugs.....:angel3:
  4. bran155

    bran155 Guest

    I don't have any ideas. But I just wanted to send some (((HUGS))) your way.

    Keeping your family in my prayers. Keep us posted.
  5. nvts

    nvts Active Member

    How about the salvation army?

    I'll keep brainstorming!

  6. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    No new ideas, but sending hugs and prayers!
  7. 1905

    1905 Well-Known Member

    Since she's been living there, I bet she would need to be" officially" evicted by a court order. Which would allow her to go to court and state her situation. I KNOW that in some states, if a family is going to be homeless, they won't get evicted, even if they haven't paid a drop of rent in ages. Renovating rooms doesn't sound like there would be a pressing need for eviction, if there are children involved. We had tenants, and the police had to remove them, they had not paid rent in months, they waited until they were physically removed. If someone told them they have until the end of the week, BS! The cops won't even remove them without a court order.-Alyssa
  8. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    Wonderful ideas. Thanks! Keep 'em coming. I'll send these off to her via email right now.
  9. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    This is awful, maybe, but I have no desire whatsoever to bring them here. Will not. I'll make easy child bind and gag me before I get a chance to utter the words.

    I will not repeat that mistake again.

    Besides, there is no room at the inn. Period. And no way in hades could husband and I afford to *support* them. We're barely scratching by ourselves. And I am not planning on sending money. We. Just. Don't. Have. It.

    K's husband is 40, she's 29. You've got to learn to stand up on your own feet at some point.

    Maybe I'm having PTSD, but I've got flashing neon signs screaming at me this is a repeat performance of when K came to live with us back in 2000. This time I will be stubborn. I will dig in my heels. I will constantly relive every bad memory of last time if necessary just to keep me from helping.

    I will support, offer advice, but I will not fix it.:ashamed:
  10. hearts and roses

    hearts and roses Mind Reader

    YMCA, YWCA, Catholic Charities, Social Services for emergency shelter (they actually do have that available, though it varies from state to state and not sure if they will have anything available). She needs to contact every church to see if there are families willing to take in moms and children for a couple of nights. Believe it or not, this happens and there are some churches with families who can fill the need. If they are near an inner city, there are separate shelters for men and another for women and children - if need be!

    In the meantime, her H needs to find a place called "Manpower" or the like. They hire daily laborers and he's got to do whatever it takes.

    Lisa, hang tough - you need your own sanity. I know part of you is saying, "HELP THEM", but as you've already said, your PTSD is kicking in and you simply cannot. Hugs. I'm so sorry this is their situation.
  11. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    Thanks Jo, I passed that on. I have no real idea what's available in her area.

    I'm hanging tough. I can't bring myself to tell her I won't give money or ask her here, so I'm avoiding the issue. Neither would be a real solution anyway.

    BioMom can't help. She still hasn't found work and was going to move in with them.:faint: K's husband's grandmother says her landlord won't let her, but I'm betting the woman is wise and is just saying No. I'm thinking grandmother has had plenty of experience with the difficult child husband. lol

    I've got to go do homework. Somehow I've got to concentrate on stupid Plato and Aristotle......and study for a mid term. And by the way, I'm still sick as a dog.

    Oh........the joy. NOT.:mad:
  12. Steely

    Steely Active Member

    Sending hugs and strength your way.
    I don't have any ideas, but if I do, I will send them your way.
    Hang tough, keep reminding yourself that you cannot do this again. No way, no how. She will figure this out. She will.
  13. Ropefree

    Ropefree Banned

    If she goes to the places serving the homeless community she may find others who have some temp option. Also an ad, families are going to be riding this "recession" by pooling resources. They may find a room to rent and help another family keep their home as the adults can work, right? And diffenately apply for the unemployment and any other thing that will help get through. Good luck.
  14. smallworld

    smallworld Moderator

    All U.S. Congressmen and Senators have local offices with caseworkers who help constituents in need. If she calls her local congressman's and senator's offices, they should be able to point her in the direction of some local help.
  15. 1905

    1905 Well-Known Member

    Hi Lisa,
    Another idea, is to let the kids' school know. The school may have some resources available to help families. I know that we had a "dress down" day in our district to help out a family, plus the guidance counselors have access to more services in the community. The school, teachers, may be able to brainstorm, donate, etc...The school will protect the privacy of the family.-Alyssa
  16. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    If she goes to the school wouldn't they get cps involved??

    She'd thought about going to them, but I told her to hold off until I could ask about it. She really doesn't need to make the situation worse, Know what I mean?? And I know that cps in MO sees homelessness as a reason to remove kids from parental custody......especially if they are literally on the street. (which they aren't yet) CPS there told me so themselves way back when.