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<blockquote data-quote="nvts" data-source="post: 158552" data-attributes="member: 3814"><p>Hi Witz! I'm so sorry that you're going through all of this. Between husband and the MS, things have got to be driving you absolutely crazy!</p><p> </p><p>That being said. I think husband gave you something to thing about. It's very interesting that he's afraid to reply to you because he's afraid to say the wrong thing. There are books out there about "constructive fighting" that set ground rules to keep disagreements just that - a disagreement rather than a confrontation or full blown fight. I remember they had rules about "off limits", taking a break, how to phrase things, etc. I'm not trying to upset you, but I've got a few thoughts in my mind that I'd like to spin your way. Please know that I wouldn't try to offend, I'd be extremely upset if I thought that I added to your burdens rather than add a little insight.</p><p> </p><p>Is there a chance that husband could be going through some sort of depression? How did he handle your diagnosis? I know that this has been basically been going on throughout your marriage and in the past you were able to deal with it, but could it be your level of tolerance is not what it used to be? I laugh every time I read your quote about the "perimenopausal bear". </p><p> </p><p>I know it could be a stretch, but maybe he's lost. A week or so ago, you had posted the home center story. I laughed because it sounded so much like me and my husband that it was almost poetic! But you walked out the door ready to rip veins out with your teeth, and he was totally clueless about what he'd done wrong. </p><p> </p><p>A different angle could also be that he's got some sort of ADD or other diagnosis that has never been looked into. He could have some type of anxiety disorder or something else going on. He's an over-achiever at work and chronically underachieving at home, so it sounds like he's trying to keep it together where he has to, and lets it slide at home. If he screws up at work, he's disappointing everyone. If he screws up at home, you'll still be there for him.</p><p> </p><p>Again, I'm just trying to see if it might merit looking into and I pray to God that I didn't hurt your feelings. But I'm thinking both of you are hitting a "stress wall" at the same time and it's impacting the two of you.</p><p> </p><p>Take care hon! It does get better!</p><p> </p><p>Hugs!</p><p>Beth</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="nvts, post: 158552, member: 3814"] Hi Witz! I'm so sorry that you're going through all of this. Between husband and the MS, things have got to be driving you absolutely crazy! That being said. I think husband gave you something to thing about. It's very interesting that he's afraid to reply to you because he's afraid to say the wrong thing. There are books out there about "constructive fighting" that set ground rules to keep disagreements just that - a disagreement rather than a confrontation or full blown fight. I remember they had rules about "off limits", taking a break, how to phrase things, etc. I'm not trying to upset you, but I've got a few thoughts in my mind that I'd like to spin your way. Please know that I wouldn't try to offend, I'd be extremely upset if I thought that I added to your burdens rather than add a little insight. Is there a chance that husband could be going through some sort of depression? How did he handle your diagnosis? I know that this has been basically been going on throughout your marriage and in the past you were able to deal with it, but could it be your level of tolerance is not what it used to be? I laugh every time I read your quote about the "perimenopausal bear". I know it could be a stretch, but maybe he's lost. A week or so ago, you had posted the home center story. I laughed because it sounded so much like me and my husband that it was almost poetic! But you walked out the door ready to rip veins out with your teeth, and he was totally clueless about what he'd done wrong. A different angle could also be that he's got some sort of ADD or other diagnosis that has never been looked into. He could have some type of anxiety disorder or something else going on. He's an over-achiever at work and chronically underachieving at home, so it sounds like he's trying to keep it together where he has to, and lets it slide at home. If he screws up at work, he's disappointing everyone. If he screws up at home, you'll still be there for him. Again, I'm just trying to see if it might merit looking into and I pray to God that I didn't hurt your feelings. But I'm thinking both of you are hitting a "stress wall" at the same time and it's impacting the two of you. Take care hon! It does get better! Hugs! Beth [/QUOTE]
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