Thanks all for your comments and support. It is such a relief and comfort to know others understand and that we are not alone in our heads and hearts with all this. Just having a place to get it all out sure clears the mind.
COM, I appreciate the detailed explanation of the drug court. It does sound like a good program for those who want to commit to it. It is now "more wait and see" whatever comes next. If he does get the chance to be involved in a good program, we will again wait and see, as it will be up to him to make it work. I honestly am not sure he can stick to such a regimen, certainly not in the state I last saw him a few months ago and when he was with us. No way. But again it is only up to him, and perhaps with me out of the enabling picture, he is growing some wings now. ~ ~ I just know that I am not involved. There is nothing for me to do ... just patiently wait and see at this point.
Over the next months, I will be hopeful but with released caring and detachment. I know now son can never come back in the home with us as he was before. I believe he knows that too, so that is good. It’s definitely a learning process for everyone, day by day. I am staying relatively peaceful about it all. Perhaps it's the ignorance is bliss & out of sight / out of mind thing. But I am making strides on the feelings and acceptance of detachment, and what I will and can do, and what I won't and can't do, etc.
Mahalo all. Thoughts, prayers, and Aloha ~ Kalahou
