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General Parenting
Morning from hell and Conduct Disorder remains the verdict...
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<blockquote data-quote="buddy" data-source="post: 466665" data-attributes="member: 12886"><p>Oh wow, I just posted an awful morning a couple of days ago too....and every morning. I get wanting to hit them, for mine anyone who hits him back or even in self defense pushes him away...he will act like "OH, NOW ITS ON!!!) ...he has no cause and effect and goes into fight or flight. It is all about his perspective. He also just thinks if anyone hits that it means it is ok for him to hit. But I understand the feeling for sure...I hear you! I am sorry you are doing this with other kids around, that would be so much harder in many ways I would think.</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>in my bonding work with my son the main thing every on-line or local place that specialized in attachment and bonding (not just for Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD), for any diagnosis like autism, trauma, etc...) they said to make sure that the therapist is a specialist in this. These kids can be very clever in pulling the wool over the eyes of a therapist...hugging them, saying mommy is too mean and I just want her to love me, etc. I was told to run, not walk if a therapist wanted to see my child alone when discussing our relationship or working on bonding....I only did research based treatments with trained therapists who really understood this. They can do more damage than help if they dont really get it. I realize this is only one aspect of what you have told us about but just wanted to share because when people helped me through this it saved us a lot of grief...and I DiD have to leave two therapists after I realized they each SAID they worked on bonding but they didn't follow the guidelines I had learned about. Your call of course, just sharing. (and certainly there are times I needed to talk alone and work through things...that is different)</p><p></p><p>Great job plowing on and feel free to vent and vent and vent. I for one know those moments of really feeling like the last thing I want to do now is to hug you (especially when they are snickering over seeing us upset)</p><p></p><p>ps now that my difficult child is getting older he tells me more about how he is really feeling (guess all that therapy is paying off) and one time this summer, when I got upset he was smirking at something that would otherwise make someone really sad...he said, mom I dont feel happy about it, it just makes me nervous and my face does that. He said, Can you show me what my face looks like. So we went to a mirror. now, he will then at times say, good! I AM going to do that face because I dont care! It just depends on his state at the time. I am trying to give him the benefit of the doubt more. (common with brain injury to show inappropriate facial expressions and say rude sounding things)</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="buddy, post: 466665, member: 12886"] Oh wow, I just posted an awful morning a couple of days ago too....and every morning. I get wanting to hit them, for mine anyone who hits him back or even in self defense pushes him away...he will act like "OH, NOW ITS ON!!!) ...he has no cause and effect and goes into fight or flight. It is all about his perspective. He also just thinks if anyone hits that it means it is ok for him to hit. But I understand the feeling for sure...I hear you! I am sorry you are doing this with other kids around, that would be so much harder in many ways I would think. in my bonding work with my son the main thing every on-line or local place that specialized in attachment and bonding (not just for Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD), for any diagnosis like autism, trauma, etc...) they said to make sure that the therapist is a specialist in this. These kids can be very clever in pulling the wool over the eyes of a therapist...hugging them, saying mommy is too mean and I just want her to love me, etc. I was told to run, not walk if a therapist wanted to see my child alone when discussing our relationship or working on bonding....I only did research based treatments with trained therapists who really understood this. They can do more damage than help if they dont really get it. I realize this is only one aspect of what you have told us about but just wanted to share because when people helped me through this it saved us a lot of grief...and I DiD have to leave two therapists after I realized they each SAID they worked on bonding but they didn't follow the guidelines I had learned about. Your call of course, just sharing. (and certainly there are times I needed to talk alone and work through things...that is different) Great job plowing on and feel free to vent and vent and vent. I for one know those moments of really feeling like the last thing I want to do now is to hug you (especially when they are snickering over seeing us upset) ps now that my difficult child is getting older he tells me more about how he is really feeling (guess all that therapy is paying off) and one time this summer, when I got upset he was smirking at something that would otherwise make someone really sad...he said, mom I dont feel happy about it, it just makes me nervous and my face does that. He said, Can you show me what my face looks like. So we went to a mirror. now, he will then at times say, good! I AM going to do that face because I dont care! It just depends on his state at the time. I am trying to give him the benefit of the doubt more. (common with brain injury to show inappropriate facial expressions and say rude sounding things) [/QUOTE]
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Morning from hell and Conduct Disorder remains the verdict...
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