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Substance Abuse
Most difficult years of my life
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 726516" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>Your husband is right and you can start your new focus by spending time with your blessings. You have each other...you and hub. Go back to dating, get to reconnect, make a deal with him to only talk about son five minutes a day and don't touch your phone when you are doing something together. Don't allow son to intrude. Why give him he power to come between you? Husband has to let go too. You both do.</p><p></p><p>And your daughter. You probably spend so much help time living through your son, mentally solving his endless problems, that she gets set aside. Is it fair? No. Often the good kid gets shorted attention and you are depriving yourself of her company too. When with her refuse to allow son to intrude. Don't listen to your phone. Don't talk about him to her. You don't have to. Build a relationship with her that is about you and her. She doesn't need to hear the latest bad choices her brother makes.</p><p></p><p>Most of all, do the things for yourself that you love to do and maybe don't do anymore, be kind to yourself and don't allow son to intrude in the time you spend doing things you love to do. No phone. You really in my opinion need to stop answering or even reading all his texts or answering his phone calls. They are all about his bad luck, as if he didn't cause it, and to make you feel bad. Why give him your ear? Maybe answer one text every third day.....</p><p>..</p><p></p><p>Your son is choosing a rotten life and is not, at the moment, nice at all. Yet he is your entire world. The amount of time you give to son is also a choice. Giving too much time and money and too much of your very life is your choice. Just like your son can get help and decide to change, so can you. Your obsessing over him has not made him better at all. And it has made you almost float out of your body and into his as you angst over him more than he does. He doesn't WANT to do better. If he did, he would act better and show remorse.</p><p></p><p>He is not your cute little boy anymore. Don't see him that way. He is a grown man and you are allowing him to destroy and overshadow everything else, including all the good in your life. What's the point? It doesn't help him. It hurts you and your other loved ones. That is all it accomplishes.</p><p></p><p>On that note, I wish you to move forward with your life and get help so you can be YOU again instead of being him. Lots of love and light from me.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 726516, member: 1550"] Your husband is right and you can start your new focus by spending time with your blessings. You have each other...you and hub. Go back to dating, get to reconnect, make a deal with him to only talk about son five minutes a day and don't touch your phone when you are doing something together. Don't allow son to intrude. Why give him he power to come between you? Husband has to let go too. You both do. And your daughter. You probably spend so much help time living through your son, mentally solving his endless problems, that she gets set aside. Is it fair? No. Often the good kid gets shorted attention and you are depriving yourself of her company too. When with her refuse to allow son to intrude. Don't listen to your phone. Don't talk about him to her. You don't have to. Build a relationship with her that is about you and her. She doesn't need to hear the latest bad choices her brother makes. Most of all, do the things for yourself that you love to do and maybe don't do anymore, be kind to yourself and don't allow son to intrude in the time you spend doing things you love to do. No phone. You really in my opinion need to stop answering or even reading all his texts or answering his phone calls. They are all about his bad luck, as if he didn't cause it, and to make you feel bad. Why give him your ear? Maybe answer one text every third day..... .. Your son is choosing a rotten life and is not, at the moment, nice at all. Yet he is your entire world. The amount of time you give to son is also a choice. Giving too much time and money and too much of your very life is your choice. Just like your son can get help and decide to change, so can you. Your obsessing over him has not made him better at all. And it has made you almost float out of your body and into his as you angst over him more than he does. He doesn't WANT to do better. If he did, he would act better and show remorse. He is not your cute little boy anymore. Don't see him that way. He is a grown man and you are allowing him to destroy and overshadow everything else, including all the good in your life. What's the point? It doesn't help him. It hurts you and your other loved ones. That is all it accomplishes. On that note, I wish you to move forward with your life and get help so you can be YOU again instead of being him. Lots of love and light from me. [/QUOTE]
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