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mother in law still needs to have brick wall falling onto her (ventish)
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<blockquote data-quote="SuZir" data-source="post: 559422" data-attributes="member: 14557"><p>mother in law throwing a fit is certainly nothing new and difficult child is well aware of her behaviours. If I have to, I can tell him grandma decided to throw a fit again over something and I'm not sure how it will work out. Just now I just wouldn't like to bother difficult child with family drama. He has enough to deal with his own issues. mother in law has thrown fits in the past over much smaller things, but there is some subtle differences that kind of make me worried. I have always felt her fits are totally planned and she does have them to keep control of her children and father in law. I'm quite sure about that, because over the years I have become very good at predicting when she will throw a fit and how it will resolve itself. I can't guess what is an exact topic that causes a fit (it has been anything starting from colour of the napkins at sister in law's garden party), but timing and outcome I can often predict. But this one seemed somehow so uncontrolled and I don't really know what she could be after. </p><p></p><p>I did expect some whining about the timing (it is inconvenient, next day is a holiday many do have plans for, fortunately usually for the evening, but fall graduating day has been the same closer to hundred years, they are not going to change that), having to drive six hours this time of the year, dinner being so late (because of the game) that we either have to drive back through night or have a night at a hotel there. I also did expect she would not be happy with no big parties. But I did expect her to use it to guilt something out of husband, not to go to full-blown fit.</p><p></p><p>In the past I would had been sure that after we get her to come, she would behave herself at the party. Maybe some snide curve balls, but no biggies. And let's face it, these people know mother in law. We have spent difficult child's every birthday and every other party with these same people starting from his christening. Only difficult child's girlfriend and her parents/sister are new. Everyone else has seen mother in law going all kinds of worried grandma routines to bring up all difficult child's faults etc. Nothing new to anyone. And because of difficult child's other godparents and girlfriend's parents mother in law would probably be on her better behaviour, especially if I make husband talk to her beforehand and ask not to embarrass him or easy child by implying to difficult child's issues. And I do not believe she would want to hurt difficult child really. He is not her favoured grandchild and suffers the residues of mother in law's disliking me, but I can't believe mother in law wouldn't have some love and caring towards him too. </p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p>I'm sure father in law would do something to make his absence up for difficult child. difficult child's adoration of his grandpa is not unrequited. But of course it wouldn't be the same.</p><p></p><p>Luckily we still have few weeks time and I can work on this and push mother in law's buttons. I just hope she doesn't plan to keep me guessing till the last moment. Of course if she does that, it would likely mean she is coming, just wanting to make me squirm. I do hope there will be a day I don't have to play her games, but unfortunately cost of that would still be too high for husband and easy child. Maybe after easy child is an adult.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="SuZir, post: 559422, member: 14557"] mother in law throwing a fit is certainly nothing new and difficult child is well aware of her behaviours. If I have to, I can tell him grandma decided to throw a fit again over something and I'm not sure how it will work out. Just now I just wouldn't like to bother difficult child with family drama. He has enough to deal with his own issues. mother in law has thrown fits in the past over much smaller things, but there is some subtle differences that kind of make me worried. I have always felt her fits are totally planned and she does have them to keep control of her children and father in law. I'm quite sure about that, because over the years I have become very good at predicting when she will throw a fit and how it will resolve itself. I can't guess what is an exact topic that causes a fit (it has been anything starting from colour of the napkins at sister in law's garden party), but timing and outcome I can often predict. But this one seemed somehow so uncontrolled and I don't really know what she could be after. I did expect some whining about the timing (it is inconvenient, next day is a holiday many do have plans for, fortunately usually for the evening, but fall graduating day has been the same closer to hundred years, they are not going to change that), having to drive six hours this time of the year, dinner being so late (because of the game) that we either have to drive back through night or have a night at a hotel there. I also did expect she would not be happy with no big parties. But I did expect her to use it to guilt something out of husband, not to go to full-blown fit. In the past I would had been sure that after we get her to come, she would behave herself at the party. Maybe some snide curve balls, but no biggies. And let's face it, these people know mother in law. We have spent difficult child's every birthday and every other party with these same people starting from his christening. Only difficult child's girlfriend and her parents/sister are new. Everyone else has seen mother in law going all kinds of worried grandma routines to bring up all difficult child's faults etc. Nothing new to anyone. And because of difficult child's other godparents and girlfriend's parents mother in law would probably be on her better behaviour, especially if I make husband talk to her beforehand and ask not to embarrass him or easy child by implying to difficult child's issues. And I do not believe she would want to hurt difficult child really. He is not her favoured grandchild and suffers the residues of mother in law's disliking me, but I can't believe mother in law wouldn't have some love and caring towards him too. I'm sure father in law would do something to make his absence up for difficult child. difficult child's adoration of his grandpa is not unrequited. But of course it wouldn't be the same. Luckily we still have few weeks time and I can work on this and push mother in law's buttons. I just hope she doesn't plan to keep me guessing till the last moment. Of course if she does that, it would likely mean she is coming, just wanting to make me squirm. I do hope there will be a day I don't have to play her games, but unfortunately cost of that would still be too high for husband and easy child. Maybe after easy child is an adult. [/QUOTE]
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mother in law still needs to have brick wall falling onto her (ventish)
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