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Mourning my mother
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<blockquote data-quote="Star*" data-source="post: 187977" data-attributes="member: 4964"><p>KJS, </p><p> </p><p>I wanted you to know I was thinking of you. If there were some magically, comforting words to find I would surely send them your way. </p><p>Just know you are thought about and cared for. </p><p> </p><p>As to the why - I absolutely know why the "don't send me anything of my dads" was....and maybe the same reason for the video with your Mom. For me it was that after the courts, lawyers, and things in general seemed to settle down, and I wasn't crying every other thought over the loss I suffered I had finally come to a place where I could deal with life - nearly 6 months later. So when my mom called me and said there were a few things of my Dad's for me? I didn't want them. And it wasn't because I didn't want them - I couldn't deal with them at that time because I needed to stay mentally where I was so I didn't fall apart over and over. </p><p> </p><p>It's been 9 years - and still there are days and times and moments when I could not hold even a picture let alone his watch. You're still in mourning and maybe it's too soon to allow yourself to feel that vulnerability again. For me it was like a wound that had healed....I wouldn't go out and try to reinjure or open the wound so I stayed in a safe place. (mentally) and that was not having anything to do with things that reminded me of him. </p><p> </p><p>Maybe it's different for everyone else - maybe because you miss her so much the video will leave you with feelings of missing her more -again. </p><p>I think it's pretty normal, and I think crying and missing her are normal. I think we find a way to cope being left behind the best way we can. I think you're doing a great job....you just do what is right for you - no one says you HAVe to watch the video now.....maybe a rainy day with just you and her memory would be better. </p><p> </p><p>I'm not a toughie - but my family doesn't get to see me cry too often. It's just a me thing.....</p><p> </p><p>Hugs</p><p>Hugs</p><p>Star</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Star*, post: 187977, member: 4964"] KJS, I wanted you to know I was thinking of you. If there were some magically, comforting words to find I would surely send them your way. Just know you are thought about and cared for. As to the why - I absolutely know why the "don't send me anything of my dads" was....and maybe the same reason for the video with your Mom. For me it was that after the courts, lawyers, and things in general seemed to settle down, and I wasn't crying every other thought over the loss I suffered I had finally come to a place where I could deal with life - nearly 6 months later. So when my mom called me and said there were a few things of my Dad's for me? I didn't want them. And it wasn't because I didn't want them - I couldn't deal with them at that time because I needed to stay mentally where I was so I didn't fall apart over and over. It's been 9 years - and still there are days and times and moments when I could not hold even a picture let alone his watch. You're still in mourning and maybe it's too soon to allow yourself to feel that vulnerability again. For me it was like a wound that had healed....I wouldn't go out and try to reinjure or open the wound so I stayed in a safe place. (mentally) and that was not having anything to do with things that reminded me of him. Maybe it's different for everyone else - maybe because you miss her so much the video will leave you with feelings of missing her more -again. I think it's pretty normal, and I think crying and missing her are normal. I think we find a way to cope being left behind the best way we can. I think you're doing a great job....you just do what is right for you - no one says you HAVe to watch the video now.....maybe a rainy day with just you and her memory would be better. I'm not a toughie - but my family doesn't get to see me cry too often. It's just a me thing..... Hugs Hugs Star [/QUOTE]
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