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My 14 year old daughter physically and mentally abuses me
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<blockquote data-quote="JojoMn" data-source="post: 715210" data-attributes="member: 22059"><p>Sorry my post got really long!</p><p>Don't give up on her!!! I'm in the trenches with you and it really SUCKS!! Enlist help, when she even starts with the threats call a crisis line and and ask for a counselor to come right away. The second she lays a hand on you call the police!! Hardest calls I've ever made but they took her to a place to cool off and I could breath. Enlist lots of help from mental health workers for her... my ex said my daughter couldn't go too so I got a letter from her pediatrician stating she needs medications and counseling ... I made the appointments before I got the letter but we both know we can get one! He said I made the dr write it! Sure I did!!! Jerk! He also changed peditrians! Therapists will make home visits. They know our kids don't want to go!</p><p>I got my 15 yr old daughter after a year living with dad and NO rules, bad mouthing me,and sometimes it felt like he controlled us in my house.i don't recognize her a lot of the time but after only a week I see some of my girl</p><p>Cracking through.i can't imagine the internal struggle they have. We raised them to know this is wrong. They seem evil at times but they need their moms. The crisis counselor helped writing a safety plan plus a number of rules on one column and consquenes on the other. My kid ripped up three of the sheets but I had more copies and said I don't care what you do with them it's the rules I have more copies and the counselor said you know where they are and you are responsible to know them. OMG it works it's the HARDEST fight you'll ever fight (my therapist told me that) but you are fighting to save her life and she is crying out for boundaries! She has too much control in both houses and doesn't know what to do. I was embarrassed and shocked when my girl mouthed off to the cops here, but I knew that I had to prove I am really not messing around. I proved it to myself too! They've been here twice now and I didn't press charges but they told us both if it happens again they won't have a choice. She acts like she doesn't care and says it but there's been a few times already she started to lose it and told me to back off or she was gonna lose it I backed off and and said okay and did. Do not ENGAGE her when she starts anything. I say I'm done and not going to argue if she baits me. . It's really f'ing hard but but my therapist and the crisis counselor told me we have 3 years before she's 18... then it's out of our hands and we'll end up worrying all night about where they are, are they an addict, no job, no home, because they never learned to control themselves at least have some skills. I felt aweful hiding my knives and sharp objects, anything she could easily grab and use as a weapon. No mom should have to do that!! None of my friends would ever dream of needing to do that! I am working on that jealously thing and realizing it's not fair but that life isn't fair. GET a therapist for yourself. I had one before this all started but she's awesome and we don't talk about diagnoses and what happened in our past leading us to doubt our ability! It's about immediate steps to take to make us more confident dealing with our girls and are jerk ex's. We can't control what happens there but you were strong and smart enough to leave him! You are really strong enough to do this.</p><p>I look for the littlest things like actually throwing away a wrapper even and it honestly helps! How weird huh? Baby steps and get through each day!! Message me if you want. We both need the support! God knows not many moms understand.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="JojoMn, post: 715210, member: 22059"] Sorry my post got really long! Don't give up on her!!! I'm in the trenches with you and it really SUCKS!! Enlist help, when she even starts with the threats call a crisis line and and ask for a counselor to come right away. The second she lays a hand on you call the police!! Hardest calls I've ever made but they took her to a place to cool off and I could breath. Enlist lots of help from mental health workers for her... my ex said my daughter couldn't go too so I got a letter from her pediatrician stating she needs medications and counseling ... I made the appointments before I got the letter but we both know we can get one! He said I made the dr write it! Sure I did!!! Jerk! He also changed peditrians! Therapists will make home visits. They know our kids don't want to go! I got my 15 yr old daughter after a year living with dad and NO rules, bad mouthing me,and sometimes it felt like he controlled us in my house.i don't recognize her a lot of the time but after only a week I see some of my girl Cracking through.i can't imagine the internal struggle they have. We raised them to know this is wrong. They seem evil at times but they need their moms. The crisis counselor helped writing a safety plan plus a number of rules on one column and consquenes on the other. My kid ripped up three of the sheets but I had more copies and said I don't care what you do with them it's the rules I have more copies and the counselor said you know where they are and you are responsible to know them. OMG it works it's the HARDEST fight you'll ever fight (my therapist told me that) but you are fighting to save her life and she is crying out for boundaries! She has too much control in both houses and doesn't know what to do. I was embarrassed and shocked when my girl mouthed off to the cops here, but I knew that I had to prove I am really not messing around. I proved it to myself too! They've been here twice now and I didn't press charges but they told us both if it happens again they won't have a choice. She acts like she doesn't care and says it but there's been a few times already she started to lose it and told me to back off or she was gonna lose it I backed off and and said okay and did. Do not ENGAGE her when she starts anything. I say I'm done and not going to argue if she baits me. . It's really f'ing hard but but my therapist and the crisis counselor told me we have 3 years before she's 18... then it's out of our hands and we'll end up worrying all night about where they are, are they an addict, no job, no home, because they never learned to control themselves at least have some skills. I felt aweful hiding my knives and sharp objects, anything she could easily grab and use as a weapon. No mom should have to do that!! None of my friends would ever dream of needing to do that! I am working on that jealously thing and realizing it's not fair but that life isn't fair. GET a therapist for yourself. I had one before this all started but she's awesome and we don't talk about diagnoses and what happened in our past leading us to doubt our ability! It's about immediate steps to take to make us more confident dealing with our girls and are jerk ex's. We can't control what happens there but you were strong and smart enough to leave him! You are really strong enough to do this. I look for the littlest things like actually throwing away a wrapper even and it honestly helps! How weird huh? Baby steps and get through each day!! Message me if you want. We both need the support! God knows not many moms understand. [/QUOTE]
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My 14 year old daughter physically and mentally abuses me
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