My 15 year old challenge

[Cindy]

I am looking for some advice on how to handle my 15 year old son. He was diagnosed with ADHD (agressive) when he was in elementary school. We have tried several medications but never have been consistant with any of them for several reasons; financially, some of them have made him more hyper than he already is and when he started experimenting with other drugs as he got older, I thought he would abuse them the wrong way so I took all of the pills out of my house. It has just been recently we have been consistant with Straterra. I haven't seen a drastic change like I would like, as a matter of fact, his behavior has gotten worse.

He is constantly in trouble with the law, he is on probation, he uses foul language like I've never heard come from him in front of me before, he won't take no for an answer, he won't participate in any family functions, he is very defiant with my husband and me, runs away if we say he can't go somewhere, hangs around the wrong croud, comes home drunk and doesn't feel he is doing anything wrong. Today he ditched school for the first time this year and he asked me why he couldn't use the phone. The list goes on.

He had a Psycological Educational Evaluation ordered by the courts and has a Neurological Psycological Evaluation tomorrow from a head injury that happened three years ago. I am trying to rule out any brain injury's that could be the cause of his all of a sudden change in behavior along with the drug abuse.

Is there anyone out there that can relate and offer some advice?

Concerned Parent

 

[BusynMember]

I had a daughter who abused drugs badly from age 12-19. I wouldn't let him blame his abuse on ADHD, but perhaps more is going on that just ADHD. However, at this point, medications won't help him if he is using recreational drugs and/or drinking (they usually go together). What drugs does he claim to abuse? My daughter said she was just smoking pot. It turned out it was way more. We had to really get tough with her. She was arrested twice and still used drugs. What measures are you taking to crack down on his behavior? And, no, I"m NOT saying he will listen to you...lol...I know better. Just wondering what you are TRYING to do? I don't believe a therapist is even close to the whole answer. My daughter laughed at therapists. She had to be located away from her peers before she quit taking drugs.

 

[goldenguru]

Welcome Cindy~

Like MidwestMom, my first thought was that your son sounds like he is involved in drug use (and not just alcohol) . Has he ever had random drug screening? If not, it might be another useful tool to figure out what is going on.

The ADD may be an element of his struggle, but certainly doesn't sound like it explains everything.

A neuropsychologist evaluation is a great next step.

Since he is already on probation, I would talk with his PO and see what options might be available to you for help. They can be a great resource ... especially when they know that parents are on board.

Let us know how the the evaluation goes.

 

[DDD]

I have two had two teenage boys with ADHD and they are more at
risk than kids without the issue. I also have a pot smoker and
alcoholic who suffered a severe trauma to the brain and had
symptoms of Traumatic Brain Injury (TBI) which has caused and is causing a great deal of
frustration as the police and SAO do not acknowledge the problem.

You are very wise to have him checked out...especially if there
is a radical change in personality, conversation and behaviorial
choices. Finding the right MD for the diagnosis is not easy and
I wish you luck.

Sending supportive thoughts and prayers your way. DDD

 

[Sunlight]

want you to know I can relate and feel sorry for the chaos in your home. it is a terrible situation to be in. your son will most likely refuse all help anyway. be sure to also seek counseling for yourself to strengthen you as it may be much worse before it gets better.
once they stay out all night they are never as afraid to do so again. once they defy you and come home drunk, it will continue.

I wish I had answers but can only say to be strong, firm, and remember it is your house, you are the adult and he is a child. dont let him rule the roost. if he is in legal trouble let the courts take over. do not rescue. sigh.

 

[lovemysons]

Hi Cindy, welcome to the board.

Does your son's probation require him to go to AA meetings? I'm guessing not but it may be a good idea to talk to the probation dept and see if they can set this up as part of the requirements...AL Anon would be a great benefit to you if you can find a meeting for yourself.

Glad you found us, hugs
lovemysons

 

[standswithcourage]

I can relate also and agree with the above. My difficult child is also ADHD or that is what he was diagnosed at age 6. When he was 16 - he stopped taking his medicine for ADHD and started using pot, pills and probably alcohol. We have done everything in the world we know to do to help him - he was just like your son. All of the behaviors - he was also on probation - violated it once and was sent to a Youthful Offender program in a correctional facility - jail a number of times - matter of fact he is in jail now - it is drugs for him I know - he is a addict - also his psychiatrist was trying to get him neurologically tested but he never wanted to go - he just wanted the m eds - check into a drug test and go forward with the doctor - she want you can rule out - good luck -

 

[tracy551]

My son also was ADD. He is now 17 1/2 and in a Residential Treatment Center (RTC) because of behavior, truancy, drugs and alcohol (etc, etc, etc)
I too had an evaluation ordered by the court, 2 actually ( he is in his 2nd placement) The first was a bootcamp-did nothing. Now he is at a boys ranch. Doing better for now. We are not sure how things will go when he comes home.
When they ordered the evaluation did they mention anything about treatment once he is diagnosed? A Residential Treatment Center (RTC) or outpatient placement?
He will not, most likely work with a counselor. If he is anything like my difficult child he will tell them what they want to hear or not talk at all. Sometimes the toughest thing for them is to take away their comfort zone- HOME, MOM, DAD, FRIENDS, FAMILY. Our difficult child didn't love us until he was gone. Good luck.