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My 19 yr old stopped his depression/adhd medications...
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<blockquote data-quote="LostSoul1" data-source="post: 675473" data-attributes="member: 19755"><p>Thanks so much New Leaf and Copabanana - cute names! lol. I find solace in knowing i am not alone in going thru this. You know that isolated feeling at nite ie. 11 pm when all hell breaks loose and you see no light at the end of the tunnel, the arguing, negotiating etc....</p><p></p><p>That's how it was on Tuesday night. So i had called the mental health line yesterday (during my coffee break) to enquire about them sending out a crisis team to talk to him (basically a team of social workers etc)...they called him but he would not answer. I called and he answered saying 'he was fine' and didn't need to talk to them. So i came home, found him in the basement, and tried to urge him to talk to the mental health team he refused but i said, they can offer information to you as you are still obviously depressed. So after much prying we called and left a msg...but being the holidays there was no one there, but they did call back later.</p><p></p><p>I then essentially read him the riot act. Told him i can't continue to live this way and he seems to be breaking the agreement of abiding by the rules we set out. Things weren't working out! I told him i called the group home and the room is still available and i reserved a crisis bed as i didn't want to go thru another night like the one before. Gave him the ultimatum that in order to get better, he has to take steps....ie. go to bed reasonable hour, as his depression gets worse when he doesn't sleep as does my health as i have anxiety (wonder why lol), high BiPolar (BP) etc. I told him we can go visit the group home again on the weekend and make arrangements to move in. He said he preferred to live at home. I said, you can't, it is clear it isn't working! He then said..'ok' i will do what you say about sleeping, obeying rules etc. I said i was being reasonable and would allow him to talk a bit on the phone with this new girl he met while he falls asleep in his room as long as he is quiet. He seemed agreeable to this condition. He said he would co-operate. Then i told him to go shower, i didn't want to see him looking like a slob...he tried to say he had showered the day before but i knew he hadn't. So finally he agreed (everything is such a struggle!) Told him he had to take responsibility for things like going shopping with me as he needed to start taking more responsibility if he wanted to live with me. So he showered and got ready -- then he refused to comb his hair, so that was another 20 mins of talking to him. I told him, if he looks better he will feel better and also, i didn't want to be seen with a 'slob'....ok, so combed his hair and he looked so much better. Went shopping and he actually was helpful. He stayed out without having much anxiety. </p><p></p><p>During the drive to the grocery store, I again used the opportunity to talk with him about how i wasn't trying to control him but help him to manage his bipolar disorder but he has to push himself a bit each day, or things won't change - if things don't change!. It won't happen overnite but if he is consistent and gets the help he needs, things will...but he has to work at it. He seems to understand and honestly i agree, as soon as i pushed back and maintained my position, i could see his behavior improved also as i basically showed him the door otherwise.</p><p></p><p>The holidays are tough and my sister and his grandma wants to see him, but i told them if he chooses to go, even for a short while he will, but we can't pressure him. I will see how he is today and whether he is up to going to see them...maybe too soon giving all he has gone thru with his suicide attempt a few weeks back. So no pressure, i will make a nice holiday meal for the two of us regardless. I am emotionally drained from this whole ordeal so trying to be all happy around everyone and cheery i find draining. They seem to understand and said the door is open if we choose to come. </p><p></p><p>Well, leaving work and going home now....hopefully he will be in good spirits...and have a half decent xmas eve! </p><p></p><p>Holiday blessings to all and thanks so much for your support! One day at a time.....best we can do.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="LostSoul1, post: 675473, member: 19755"] Thanks so much New Leaf and Copabanana - cute names! lol. I find solace in knowing i am not alone in going thru this. You know that isolated feeling at nite ie. 11 pm when all hell breaks loose and you see no light at the end of the tunnel, the arguing, negotiating etc.... That's how it was on Tuesday night. So i had called the mental health line yesterday (during my coffee break) to enquire about them sending out a crisis team to talk to him (basically a team of social workers etc)...they called him but he would not answer. I called and he answered saying 'he was fine' and didn't need to talk to them. So i came home, found him in the basement, and tried to urge him to talk to the mental health team he refused but i said, they can offer information to you as you are still obviously depressed. So after much prying we called and left a msg...but being the holidays there was no one there, but they did call back later. I then essentially read him the riot act. Told him i can't continue to live this way and he seems to be breaking the agreement of abiding by the rules we set out. Things weren't working out! I told him i called the group home and the room is still available and i reserved a crisis bed as i didn't want to go thru another night like the one before. Gave him the ultimatum that in order to get better, he has to take steps....ie. go to bed reasonable hour, as his depression gets worse when he doesn't sleep as does my health as i have anxiety (wonder why lol), high BiPolar (BP) etc. I told him we can go visit the group home again on the weekend and make arrangements to move in. He said he preferred to live at home. I said, you can't, it is clear it isn't working! He then said..'ok' i will do what you say about sleeping, obeying rules etc. I said i was being reasonable and would allow him to talk a bit on the phone with this new girl he met while he falls asleep in his room as long as he is quiet. He seemed agreeable to this condition. He said he would co-operate. Then i told him to go shower, i didn't want to see him looking like a slob...he tried to say he had showered the day before but i knew he hadn't. So finally he agreed (everything is such a struggle!) Told him he had to take responsibility for things like going shopping with me as he needed to start taking more responsibility if he wanted to live with me. So he showered and got ready -- then he refused to comb his hair, so that was another 20 mins of talking to him. I told him, if he looks better he will feel better and also, i didn't want to be seen with a 'slob'....ok, so combed his hair and he looked so much better. Went shopping and he actually was helpful. He stayed out without having much anxiety. During the drive to the grocery store, I again used the opportunity to talk with him about how i wasn't trying to control him but help him to manage his bipolar disorder but he has to push himself a bit each day, or things won't change - if things don't change!. It won't happen overnite but if he is consistent and gets the help he needs, things will...but he has to work at it. He seems to understand and honestly i agree, as soon as i pushed back and maintained my position, i could see his behavior improved also as i basically showed him the door otherwise. The holidays are tough and my sister and his grandma wants to see him, but i told them if he chooses to go, even for a short while he will, but we can't pressure him. I will see how he is today and whether he is up to going to see them...maybe too soon giving all he has gone thru with his suicide attempt a few weeks back. So no pressure, i will make a nice holiday meal for the two of us regardless. I am emotionally drained from this whole ordeal so trying to be all happy around everyone and cheery i find draining. They seem to understand and said the door is open if we choose to come. Well, leaving work and going home now....hopefully he will be in good spirits...and have a half decent xmas eve! Holiday blessings to all and thanks so much for your support! One day at a time.....best we can do. [/QUOTE]
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My 19 yr old stopped his depression/adhd medications...
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