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my 19yr old daughter makes terrible choices and I'm afraid for her safety
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 677614" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>Why talk to her about it? Haven't you done that 100 times before? It doesn't work and is not worth your time or aggravation.</p><p></p><p>The best way to tell if your adult is really going the right way (my daughter did!!!) is to watch who the person hangs around with. My daughter had to and did dump everyone who had anything to do with drugs. She also had to move to a new town and continue not to hook up with drug users. She got a job on her own and did not call in, even though she had no car and had to walk back and forth in Chicago's awful winter. This went on for close to a year before we exhaled. A few days or nice words or momentary intentions do not mean your adult child is going to suddenly turn around. It takes time and a total change in lifestyle. My daughter was very lonely for a long time, but very determined to do this. She even quit cigarettes. She detoxed on her own with her new boyfriend, whom she is still with, helping her, in a basement. Twelve years later she is clean, she gained the weight she lost while using meth, looks healthy, went back to school, has a beautiful baby who she only allows to eat organic food with almost no sugar, and is a responsible citizen.</p><p></p><p>Words and intentions mean nothing. Actions mean a lot. And you have to wait a long time before you can exhale and say, "I think this time it's for good." And it may not be. Relapses are common. It's a tough fight.</p><p></p><p>But, sadly, the fact the your daughter is still hanging with trashy friends and calling into work means s he is not ready yet, in spite of her intentions when you spoke with her. And talking accomplishes nothing. Often it just makes your adult kid, who is usually years behind emotionally, rebel and get high again. Just make sure not to enable. My daughter has told me many times that telling her she had to leave and making her have to find ways to survive on her home made her sick to death of drug life, as well as the horrible people she had to associate with. </p><p></p><p>Today she is awesome at 32. </p><p></p><p>Your daugher is no ready. When she is, you will know and it will have been going on for quite a while. And she'll dump her trashy friends.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 677614, member: 1550"] Why talk to her about it? Haven't you done that 100 times before? It doesn't work and is not worth your time or aggravation. The best way to tell if your adult is really going the right way (my daughter did!!!) is to watch who the person hangs around with. My daughter had to and did dump everyone who had anything to do with drugs. She also had to move to a new town and continue not to hook up with drug users. She got a job on her own and did not call in, even though she had no car and had to walk back and forth in Chicago's awful winter. This went on for close to a year before we exhaled. A few days or nice words or momentary intentions do not mean your adult child is going to suddenly turn around. It takes time and a total change in lifestyle. My daughter was very lonely for a long time, but very determined to do this. She even quit cigarettes. She detoxed on her own with her new boyfriend, whom she is still with, helping her, in a basement. Twelve years later she is clean, she gained the weight she lost while using meth, looks healthy, went back to school, has a beautiful baby who she only allows to eat organic food with almost no sugar, and is a responsible citizen. Words and intentions mean nothing. Actions mean a lot. And you have to wait a long time before you can exhale and say, "I think this time it's for good." And it may not be. Relapses are common. It's a tough fight. But, sadly, the fact the your daughter is still hanging with trashy friends and calling into work means s he is not ready yet, in spite of her intentions when you spoke with her. And talking accomplishes nothing. Often it just makes your adult kid, who is usually years behind emotionally, rebel and get high again. Just make sure not to enable. My daughter has told me many times that telling her she had to leave and making her have to find ways to survive on her home made her sick to death of drug life, as well as the horrible people she had to associate with. Today she is awesome at 32. Your daugher is no ready. When she is, you will know and it will have been going on for quite a while. And she'll dump her trashy friends. [/QUOTE]
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my 19yr old daughter makes terrible choices and I'm afraid for her safety
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