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My 20 yr old clinically depressed son refuses help
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<blockquote data-quote="recoveringenabler" data-source="post: 623953" data-attributes="member: 13542"><p>Heff welcome. It can feel pretty alone dealing with depression. I'm glad you found us.</p><p></p><p>You might find the article at the bottom of my post here on Detachment interesting. Most of us here with older adult children, after we try everything else, we fall in to detachment. If you've read our stories you will see the various stages of where we all are.</p><p></p><p>I believe the first thing we need to do is to put ourselves as the priority. To focus on ourselves. With an adult child who has so many issues and needs, over time all of our energy is going out to them, and in the meantime, we become depleted and forget to fulfill our needs. Our ability to experience joy is greatly diminished or perhaps eliminated completely. You matter as much as your son and it's pretty likely you've forgotten that. Your son is doing his life, he is making his choices, there is nothing you can do about that. What you do have power over is how you respond to this situation. You can begin by taking care of you. Figure out what it is that you want and go do it. </p><p></p><p>Once you get your self on track, you will be in a better place to begin to make choices where your son is concerned. If he is to remain living with you and that is okay with you, you can learn to make boundaries around his behavior. Because someone is depressed does not give them the right to ruin everyone else's life. You have a right to figure out what it is you want and then to make that happen in regard to your son. Because he gives up does not mean you have to. Our kids go down many different rabbit holes and in my experience, it is NEVER a good idea to follow them there. </p><p></p><p>You've landed in a safe place where we understand where you are, keep posting it really helps. You're not alone, we're all here for you.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="recoveringenabler, post: 623953, member: 13542"] Heff welcome. It can feel pretty alone dealing with depression. I'm glad you found us. You might find the article at the bottom of my post here on Detachment interesting. Most of us here with older adult children, after we try everything else, we fall in to detachment. If you've read our stories you will see the various stages of where we all are. I believe the first thing we need to do is to put ourselves as the priority. To focus on ourselves. With an adult child who has so many issues and needs, over time all of our energy is going out to them, and in the meantime, we become depleted and forget to fulfill our needs. Our ability to experience joy is greatly diminished or perhaps eliminated completely. You matter as much as your son and it's pretty likely you've forgotten that. Your son is doing his life, he is making his choices, there is nothing you can do about that. What you do have power over is how you respond to this situation. You can begin by taking care of you. Figure out what it is that you want and go do it. Once you get your self on track, you will be in a better place to begin to make choices where your son is concerned. If he is to remain living with you and that is okay with you, you can learn to make boundaries around his behavior. Because someone is depressed does not give them the right to ruin everyone else's life. You have a right to figure out what it is you want and then to make that happen in regard to your son. Because he gives up does not mean you have to. Our kids go down many different rabbit holes and in my experience, it is NEVER a good idea to follow them there. You've landed in a safe place where we understand where you are, keep posting it really helps. You're not alone, we're all here for you. [/QUOTE]
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My 20 yr old clinically depressed son refuses help
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