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Substance Abuse
My 21 year old son/help
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<blockquote data-quote="elizabrary" data-source="post: 742721" data-attributes="member: 11235"><p>Hello- I'm sorry you're walking this road. It's a long and difficult one. My daughter is now 28, her issues started even in elementary school with poor behavior and grades (although she is smart enough and capable), but really hit their stride when she was 14. That was the first time I got a call from the police that she was at a house party (I dropped her off to spend the night at a friend's) where they were drinking and smoking weed. She had a boyfriend a couple of years older who was there. She was also sexually active with him at that age, I soon discovered. In the midst of all this she really go into it with her stepmom and her dad packed her stuff off, dropped her off and had no more visitation. This kind of stuff went on throughout high school but eventually they broke up and she got a new boyfriend. She told me he was 21 (she was 16 or 17 at the time) but really he was 27. Her senior year after about 3 weeks of school I was notified she had missed 10 days of school. She was hanging out with the new 27 y/o boyfriend. I took everything away from her- car, phone, computer, etc. to no avail. She would still sneak out, not come from the alternative half day school, etc. During this time she had 2 abortions. Shortly after graduating by some miracle she moved in with-her boyfriend and got pregnant. The boyfriend didn't work and was abusive. Shortly before her due date they were evicted and I stupidly allowed them to stay at my house. What a nightmare that was. A few months after my granddaughter was born they moved out. Of course things blew up and I let my daughter come back home. She almost immediately began contacting her abusive ex- I was enraged and told her she couldn't stay at my house if she was in contact with him. She put her infant in a stroller and left my house on foot in a blizzard, later telling everyone I put her and her baby out in the snow.</p><p></p><p>This kind of stuff went on for years with her even moving to a different state to live with a guy she met on the internet. She's had her license suspended. She is diagnosed with-depression and anxiety and usually medication non-compliant. She's an alcoholic and smokes a ton of weed. She is always in co-dependent relationships and as soon as one man is gone, she's on to another. She's rude and hateful and doesn't take appropriate care of her daughter. It took me years to get my boundaries in place, but once I did my life improved 100 fold. I never give her cash for anything for my granddaughter. I buy it myself. If she's crazy and irrational, I hang up or walk away from her and give myself a few days of space. She was sober for abut 18 months and things were much better, but she's back at it again. I will do anything to help her get well, but nothing to help her stay sick. I am constantly worried about my dear granddaughter who suffers the consequences and have called CPS on her several times. It's terrible, but I have been able find some peace in life. I hope you can do the same. I know how difficult it is. Hang in there.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="elizabrary, post: 742721, member: 11235"] Hello- I'm sorry you're walking this road. It's a long and difficult one. My daughter is now 28, her issues started even in elementary school with poor behavior and grades (although she is smart enough and capable), but really hit their stride when she was 14. That was the first time I got a call from the police that she was at a house party (I dropped her off to spend the night at a friend's) where they were drinking and smoking weed. She had a boyfriend a couple of years older who was there. She was also sexually active with him at that age, I soon discovered. In the midst of all this she really go into it with her stepmom and her dad packed her stuff off, dropped her off and had no more visitation. This kind of stuff went on throughout high school but eventually they broke up and she got a new boyfriend. She told me he was 21 (she was 16 or 17 at the time) but really he was 27. Her senior year after about 3 weeks of school I was notified she had missed 10 days of school. She was hanging out with the new 27 y/o boyfriend. I took everything away from her- car, phone, computer, etc. to no avail. She would still sneak out, not come from the alternative half day school, etc. During this time she had 2 abortions. Shortly after graduating by some miracle she moved in with-her boyfriend and got pregnant. The boyfriend didn't work and was abusive. Shortly before her due date they were evicted and I stupidly allowed them to stay at my house. What a nightmare that was. A few months after my granddaughter was born they moved out. Of course things blew up and I let my daughter come back home. She almost immediately began contacting her abusive ex- I was enraged and told her she couldn't stay at my house if she was in contact with him. She put her infant in a stroller and left my house on foot in a blizzard, later telling everyone I put her and her baby out in the snow. This kind of stuff went on for years with her even moving to a different state to live with a guy she met on the internet. She's had her license suspended. She is diagnosed with-depression and anxiety and usually medication non-compliant. She's an alcoholic and smokes a ton of weed. She is always in co-dependent relationships and as soon as one man is gone, she's on to another. She's rude and hateful and doesn't take appropriate care of her daughter. It took me years to get my boundaries in place, but once I did my life improved 100 fold. I never give her cash for anything for my granddaughter. I buy it myself. If she's crazy and irrational, I hang up or walk away from her and give myself a few days of space. She was sober for abut 18 months and things were much better, but she's back at it again. I will do anything to help her get well, but nothing to help her stay sick. I am constantly worried about my dear granddaughter who suffers the consequences and have called CPS on her several times. It's terrible, but I have been able find some peace in life. I hope you can do the same. I know how difficult it is. Hang in there. [/QUOTE]
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