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Parent Emeritus
my adult son is homeless and I am heartbroken
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<blockquote data-quote="recoveringenabler" data-source="post: 599820" data-attributes="member: 13542"><p>Seo, the regret, the guilt, the denial, the sorrow and memories of our sweet young children are very difficult. Detachment is not an easy path and each day you get through is a triumph. I don't recall if I mentioned it already, but you may want to read the article on detachment at the bottom of my post. </p><p></p><p>This is a safe place to talk about your feelings, we will not judge you, we are most likely doing and feeling all the same things and have made similar choices. Having a difficult child puts us all in a class by ourselves, other parents, other people, like your ex husband's mother, cannot know what this is like for us.</p><p></p><p>Making the choice to send your son to your ex's when he threatened you was the right choice to make. It was a hard choice, but you also had your daughter to consider. We make these horribly difficult choices and then we suffer guilt about them, which just makes us suffer more. The truth is you did everything you could for your son out of your love for him. As he progressed through his issues and got worse, you had to keep making hard choices, don't beat yourself up over those choices. This is a devastating landscape to be on, the ground is always shifting and we are off balance trying to gain our footing again. </p><p></p><p>This has been a long, long road for you and I imagine you are exhausted, depleted and filled with angers and sorrows which surround you most of the time......................which is why seeking help is a good step, we generally need so much support for ourselves as we go through the detachment process. Keep up the good work, you're doing a good job. Hold the line and take care of YOU now. Sending you warm wishes for peace and many gentle hugs..............</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="recoveringenabler, post: 599820, member: 13542"] Seo, the regret, the guilt, the denial, the sorrow and memories of our sweet young children are very difficult. Detachment is not an easy path and each day you get through is a triumph. I don't recall if I mentioned it already, but you may want to read the article on detachment at the bottom of my post. This is a safe place to talk about your feelings, we will not judge you, we are most likely doing and feeling all the same things and have made similar choices. Having a difficult child puts us all in a class by ourselves, other parents, other people, like your ex husband's mother, cannot know what this is like for us. Making the choice to send your son to your ex's when he threatened you was the right choice to make. It was a hard choice, but you also had your daughter to consider. We make these horribly difficult choices and then we suffer guilt about them, which just makes us suffer more. The truth is you did everything you could for your son out of your love for him. As he progressed through his issues and got worse, you had to keep making hard choices, don't beat yourself up over those choices. This is a devastating landscape to be on, the ground is always shifting and we are off balance trying to gain our footing again. This has been a long, long road for you and I imagine you are exhausted, depleted and filled with angers and sorrows which surround you most of the time......................which is why seeking help is a good step, we generally need so much support for ourselves as we go through the detachment process. Keep up the good work, you're doing a good job. Hold the line and take care of YOU now. Sending you warm wishes for peace and many gentle hugs.............. [/QUOTE]
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my adult son is homeless and I am heartbroken
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