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Substance Abuse
My brother got arrested
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<blockquote data-quote="toughlovin" data-source="post: 616042" data-attributes="member: 15801"><p>I think it is true your parents have to find their own path in dealing with your brother. I think it is very different being a sibling vs being a parent. I think as a parent, when you have always wanted to protect your child, it is very hard to take that hard step of tough love and let them potentially self destruct. I think the fear of them going to jail, or worse dying, are strong reasons why we as parents keep enabling our kids.</p><p></p><p>That said I think often siblings see things more clearly. I know my daughter is much less forgiving, understanding etc. of my son and at a pretty early age she was frustrated with what we as his parents put up with. In some ways it was hard because as a teen she really didnt understand how we felt, but on the other hand it was also good to hear her honesty. </p><p></p><p>So I think being compassionate about the position your parents are in but also being very honest about how you see things can be helpful. Although ultimately you need to know your brother and what they choose to do or not do is not your responsibility.</p><p></p><p>The other thing I suggest is to look for a support group for parents such as alanon... they do have meetings geared towards parents which have been hugely helpful to me. If you find one maybe go yourself (I bet you would also find it helpful) and then maybe suggest to your parents thtat they go with you. </p><p></p><p>I am also wondering if you could have a heart to heart talk with this with your mom, given that it sounds like your dad is more in denial and more enabling than she is..... but again do it with a sense of how can you support her in all this.</p><p></p><p>Tough situation all around.</p><p></p><p>TL</p><p></p><p></p><p>Sent from my iPad using ConductDisorders</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="toughlovin, post: 616042, member: 15801"] I think it is true your parents have to find their own path in dealing with your brother. I think it is very different being a sibling vs being a parent. I think as a parent, when you have always wanted to protect your child, it is very hard to take that hard step of tough love and let them potentially self destruct. I think the fear of them going to jail, or worse dying, are strong reasons why we as parents keep enabling our kids. That said I think often siblings see things more clearly. I know my daughter is much less forgiving, understanding etc. of my son and at a pretty early age she was frustrated with what we as his parents put up with. In some ways it was hard because as a teen she really didnt understand how we felt, but on the other hand it was also good to hear her honesty. So I think being compassionate about the position your parents are in but also being very honest about how you see things can be helpful. Although ultimately you need to know your brother and what they choose to do or not do is not your responsibility. The other thing I suggest is to look for a support group for parents such as alanon... they do have meetings geared towards parents which have been hugely helpful to me. If you find one maybe go yourself (I bet you would also find it helpful) and then maybe suggest to your parents thtat they go with you. I am also wondering if you could have a heart to heart talk with this with your mom, given that it sounds like your dad is more in denial and more enabling than she is..... but again do it with a sense of how can you support her in all this. Tough situation all around. TL Sent from my iPad using ConductDisorders [/QUOTE]
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My brother got arrested
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