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Parent Emeritus
My child moved back in. I am insane.
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<blockquote data-quote="Star*" data-source="post: 365423" data-attributes="member: 4964"><p>Bean - </p><p> </p><p>I think you owe it to yourself to ask yourself this question. "What would she be doing had we not allowed her to come back here and disrupt our lives? Where would she have found a place to live? Is she that simple that should wouldn't have begged, or bartered for another place to live? How is it that this person thinks she can come into MY home and run MY life and disrupt MY world - which until she came, wasn't perfect - but at least we weren't popping Zantac and Prilosec like Pez? How would it be if we said 'here are the rules and if you break on - JUST ONCE - you are out, and you will have to find your own way!' and then stick to it? </p><p> </p><p>These are similar to the questions our psychiatrist told us to ask OURSELVES when Dude was here the last time. And then the final blow - WOULD YOU allow someone you didn't know to come into your home and treat you like your child is? HELL NO. and that should be the finale. Would you go to the park, pick up some guy without knowing him, his habits, if he drank, if he did drugs, if he stole - and say "You look homeless - come to our home - and do as you like?" ......hardly. WHY then is it different for parents to say NO to their children and stick to it. Because you think you'll not have their LOVE? I mean - do you have that anyway? Do you have honesty, help, and a good relationship where in it's 50/50? </p><p> </p><p>When we started thinking about Dude like that? We put our foot down, he FOUND his way and he really seems happier about doing it on his own. I'm actually happy for him. We made the rules, he broke them - we told him the consequences from the git-go and when they were broken? We said "OUT." no more. </p><p> </p><p>That's not telling them "I don't love you...." It's telling them "I love myself and the others in this family so much that I will make the sacrifice of having you dislike me or even hate me" - and being and doing what a good parent does - sacrifice for the sake of the kids they love. </p><p> </p><p>Sending you huge hugs. (And a bottle of Excedrine Tension headache) ----and a note pad and paper for rules/consequences and glue to stick to it. </p><p> </p><p>Star</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Star*, post: 365423, member: 4964"] Bean - I think you owe it to yourself to ask yourself this question. "What would she be doing had we not allowed her to come back here and disrupt our lives? Where would she have found a place to live? Is she that simple that should wouldn't have begged, or bartered for another place to live? How is it that this person thinks she can come into MY home and run MY life and disrupt MY world - which until she came, wasn't perfect - but at least we weren't popping Zantac and Prilosec like Pez? How would it be if we said 'here are the rules and if you break on - JUST ONCE - you are out, and you will have to find your own way!' and then stick to it? These are similar to the questions our psychiatrist told us to ask OURSELVES when Dude was here the last time. And then the final blow - WOULD YOU allow someone you didn't know to come into your home and treat you like your child is? HELL NO. and that should be the finale. Would you go to the park, pick up some guy without knowing him, his habits, if he drank, if he did drugs, if he stole - and say "You look homeless - come to our home - and do as you like?" ......hardly. WHY then is it different for parents to say NO to their children and stick to it. Because you think you'll not have their LOVE? I mean - do you have that anyway? Do you have honesty, help, and a good relationship where in it's 50/50? When we started thinking about Dude like that? We put our foot down, he FOUND his way and he really seems happier about doing it on his own. I'm actually happy for him. We made the rules, he broke them - we told him the consequences from the git-go and when they were broken? We said "OUT." no more. That's not telling them "I don't love you...." It's telling them "I love myself and the others in this family so much that I will make the sacrifice of having you dislike me or even hate me" - and being and doing what a good parent does - sacrifice for the sake of the kids they love. Sending you huge hugs. (And a bottle of Excedrine Tension headache) ----and a note pad and paper for rules/consequences and glue to stick to it. Star [/QUOTE]
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