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My child moved back in. I am insane.
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<blockquote data-quote="Star*" data-source="post: 365531" data-attributes="member: 4964"><p>Embarrassed? Pshaw! (pft) </p><p> </p><p>Listen - We all do what we have to do when we do it because we either need to or feel something - the something we feel is our brains telling us - This is the best thing I can do. That's why there are girlfriends! We're not afraid to say "YOU DID WHATTTT?" and then just let the information soak into your psyche. It's suggestive not demanding. See? </p><p> </p><p>Right now? I know where you are. I've been there with the exception of the prostitution.....(maybe....thinks off about what a manwho*r* Dude has become) I dunno maybe my kid is the same just without the drugs. Wow - wonder where my kickback is for having such a prolific child? (note to self ask for your commission). </p><p> </p><p>Our kids suffer from what I think is a huge lack of self-esteem. But when we thought about it.....would it really have been better for Dude to stay here, eat our food, and argue with us in our house when we pay the bills and KNOW he would NOT help out with even the simplest of chores - and if he did it had to be HIS WAY. Then 1/2 the time he'd start to do something and well - ADHD kicked in and he could be raking leaves, find a spider -and the next thing you know the yard is 1/2 raked, it rains and he's on the phone talking to his buddy about the spider in the yard. Okay - I've picked up water moccasins - (by mistake) and kept on raking - GET A LIFE. But yes, of course - you saw a nickle sized spider so that means you should by all means stop raking. (don't get a jar....don't put him somewhere else, don't leave him alone.....-Raid is Tabu in our house) But seriously - HELP ME DO SOMETHING - you're afraid of spiders - How about you fold the towels? NO? You don't like to fold towels. Okay sweep the driveway. No? Oh yes your allergies (cough cough), Okay I need someone to help me shake out all the throw rug......What? No you can't again - allergic? Uh huh. Okay - How about you wash dishes? No? A papercut on your finger and it could get infected...Okay I see. </p><p> </p><p>And that was my point....I see, I see, I see.......I see that NOTHING is getting done unless I did it - but he continued to make messes. I stopped asking what the excuse for cleaning his room was - Usually - When I get back from hanging with my friends. O.I.C.......and if it bugs ME enough? He knew I'd do it. Well the last time? I didn't. It stayed exactly as he left it and when he chose to not ever come home again? I bagged and boxed it up - as it was......and it is shortly coming to an expiration date. Then Goodwill. </p><p> </p><p>So see? Ya'rnt alone. (like that word huh? Ya'rnt? ----marvey) and to tell you the truth it's kind of like any addiction - Not even dissimiar to stopping smoking - you have to try quitting a few times before you find success. Then you realize you could have lived without them since forever. </p><p> </p><p>Them being in the difficult child case - THE BS, THE ARGUING, THE THEFT, LIES, DECEIT, Harrassment.....Constant upset stomach - Not THEM per se - but their behaviors. </p><p> </p><p>That's all I'm sayin' K? </p><p> </p><p>I guess we all want to prolong what we feel is the inevitable for our kids because letting go is so scary. At least when we keep them we have some idea of what is going to happen to them....and us......When we let them go? Well - you just never know. Like I said before Dude has made some dandy - (dumb dumb) choices for himself since he's left. Many of those decisions had he been here? I would have said OH NO WAY...and put my foot down or up - depending. But .....what I hear when I do hear from him is that he's made quite a mess of things...and I just say "You don't say, well you were raised to do X maybe that would help?" Then I put it in a bubble and let it goooooooo.......far..........far..........away. </p><p> </p><p>-Except for the part where he pounded the snot out of bio-dad? Yeah that one I'm still kinda holding on to. Eventually I'll let it go - but not just yet. And I'd never tell him - but for now I'm keeping that one. </p><p> </p><p>Hugs</p><p>Star</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Star*, post: 365531, member: 4964"] Embarrassed? Pshaw! (pft) Listen - We all do what we have to do when we do it because we either need to or feel something - the something we feel is our brains telling us - This is the best thing I can do. That's why there are girlfriends! We're not afraid to say "YOU DID WHATTTT?" and then just let the information soak into your psyche. It's suggestive not demanding. See? Right now? I know where you are. I've been there with the exception of the prostitution.....(maybe....thinks off about what a manwho*r* Dude has become) I dunno maybe my kid is the same just without the drugs. Wow - wonder where my kickback is for having such a prolific child? (note to self ask for your commission). Our kids suffer from what I think is a huge lack of self-esteem. But when we thought about it.....would it really have been better for Dude to stay here, eat our food, and argue with us in our house when we pay the bills and KNOW he would NOT help out with even the simplest of chores - and if he did it had to be HIS WAY. Then 1/2 the time he'd start to do something and well - ADHD kicked in and he could be raking leaves, find a spider -and the next thing you know the yard is 1/2 raked, it rains and he's on the phone talking to his buddy about the spider in the yard. Okay - I've picked up water moccasins - (by mistake) and kept on raking - GET A LIFE. But yes, of course - you saw a nickle sized spider so that means you should by all means stop raking. (don't get a jar....don't put him somewhere else, don't leave him alone.....-Raid is Tabu in our house) But seriously - HELP ME DO SOMETHING - you're afraid of spiders - How about you fold the towels? NO? You don't like to fold towels. Okay sweep the driveway. No? Oh yes your allergies (cough cough), Okay I need someone to help me shake out all the throw rug......What? No you can't again - allergic? Uh huh. Okay - How about you wash dishes? No? A papercut on your finger and it could get infected...Okay I see. And that was my point....I see, I see, I see.......I see that NOTHING is getting done unless I did it - but he continued to make messes. I stopped asking what the excuse for cleaning his room was - Usually - When I get back from hanging with my friends. O.I.C.......and if it bugs ME enough? He knew I'd do it. Well the last time? I didn't. It stayed exactly as he left it and when he chose to not ever come home again? I bagged and boxed it up - as it was......and it is shortly coming to an expiration date. Then Goodwill. So see? Ya'rnt alone. (like that word huh? Ya'rnt? ----marvey) and to tell you the truth it's kind of like any addiction - Not even dissimiar to stopping smoking - you have to try quitting a few times before you find success. Then you realize you could have lived without them since forever. Them being in the difficult child case - THE BS, THE ARGUING, THE THEFT, LIES, DECEIT, Harrassment.....Constant upset stomach - Not THEM per se - but their behaviors. That's all I'm sayin' K? I guess we all want to prolong what we feel is the inevitable for our kids because letting go is so scary. At least when we keep them we have some idea of what is going to happen to them....and us......When we let them go? Well - you just never know. Like I said before Dude has made some dandy - (dumb dumb) choices for himself since he's left. Many of those decisions had he been here? I would have said OH NO WAY...and put my foot down or up - depending. But .....what I hear when I do hear from him is that he's made quite a mess of things...and I just say "You don't say, well you were raised to do X maybe that would help?" Then I put it in a bubble and let it goooooooo.......far..........far..........away. -Except for the part where he pounded the snot out of bio-dad? Yeah that one I'm still kinda holding on to. Eventually I'll let it go - but not just yet. And I'd never tell him - but for now I'm keeping that one. Hugs Star [/QUOTE]
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My child moved back in. I am insane.
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