Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
General Discussions
The Watercooler
My counseling session today
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="susiestar" data-source="post: 246049" data-attributes="member: 1233"><p>Sweetie, what do you get out of these fights? have you looked into the book Co Dependent No More or Boundaries (Boundaries is by Townsend and Cloud).</p><p></p><p>Do you want to fight to keep this marriage and become happy? To stay in the marriage and find ways to fulfill yourself with-o your husband (hobbies, clubs, things that make you happy)? To just get away from these two males for a while and let husband see how things are if HE has to deal with school and difficult child?</p><p></p><p>There really is nothing you can do to change other people's actions. Just your reactions to them. You can decide not to tolerate things and calmly walk away when they are abusing you, or you can decide to argue and yell and fight. It really IS a choice. </p><p></p><p>I can see why they want you to not fight in the waiting room. You don't know what kind of abuse these kids have been through. Can you imagine if those kids have seen their mom be abused by a man or have been abused and then they come to the therapist and see you fighting in the waiting room? It can REALLY scare a child.</p><p></p><p>BUT I also understand YOUR frustration. YOU want help. You want the therapist to tell husband and difficult child to treat you well, to be a good partner and child to you. That may not ever be a realistic expectation. I don't know.</p><p></p><p>But before you fire the therapist, stop and think about how YOU would feel if you had a chld with PTSD or some other abuse-related problem and came into the therapist and saw a mom and her child fighting to the point that the child threw something at the mom. What would your reaction to that be? Also, maybe the client in session could hear you. They might have been scared. And they were there before you. </p><p></p><p>MAybe at the therapist you should save the arguing for in front of the therapist? </p><p></p><p>I strongly feel you NEED to head to a domestic violence shelter for some counselling. Let difficult child take the school imposed consequences for not doing homework. Put the responsibility for school calls on your husband. Let HIM handle school for a few weeks while YOU recharge. IF he doesn't want to, tough noogies. Tell everyone who calls from school that they have to call his dad and here is his cell number - you are emotionally drained and they can work this out better than you can.</p><p></p><p>Then follow through.</p><p></p><p>I am seriously worried about you. What you describe with your husband is emotional abuse and you have lived in it for so long your son thinks it is fine to treat you that way too. PLEASE go to the DV place for help. They are best suited to understanding what you are going through AND they are FREE. </p><p></p><p>Sending lots of gentle hugs.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="susiestar, post: 246049, member: 1233"] Sweetie, what do you get out of these fights? have you looked into the book Co Dependent No More or Boundaries (Boundaries is by Townsend and Cloud). Do you want to fight to keep this marriage and become happy? To stay in the marriage and find ways to fulfill yourself with-o your husband (hobbies, clubs, things that make you happy)? To just get away from these two males for a while and let husband see how things are if HE has to deal with school and difficult child? There really is nothing you can do to change other people's actions. Just your reactions to them. You can decide not to tolerate things and calmly walk away when they are abusing you, or you can decide to argue and yell and fight. It really IS a choice. I can see why they want you to not fight in the waiting room. You don't know what kind of abuse these kids have been through. Can you imagine if those kids have seen their mom be abused by a man or have been abused and then they come to the therapist and see you fighting in the waiting room? It can REALLY scare a child. BUT I also understand YOUR frustration. YOU want help. You want the therapist to tell husband and difficult child to treat you well, to be a good partner and child to you. That may not ever be a realistic expectation. I don't know. But before you fire the therapist, stop and think about how YOU would feel if you had a chld with PTSD or some other abuse-related problem and came into the therapist and saw a mom and her child fighting to the point that the child threw something at the mom. What would your reaction to that be? Also, maybe the client in session could hear you. They might have been scared. And they were there before you. MAybe at the therapist you should save the arguing for in front of the therapist? I strongly feel you NEED to head to a domestic violence shelter for some counselling. Let difficult child take the school imposed consequences for not doing homework. Put the responsibility for school calls on your husband. Let HIM handle school for a few weeks while YOU recharge. IF he doesn't want to, tough noogies. Tell everyone who calls from school that they have to call his dad and here is his cell number - you are emotionally drained and they can work this out better than you can. Then follow through. I am seriously worried about you. What you describe with your husband is emotional abuse and you have lived in it for so long your son thinks it is fine to treat you that way too. PLEASE go to the DV place for help. They are best suited to understanding what you are going through AND they are FREE. Sending lots of gentle hugs. [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
General Discussions
The Watercooler
My counseling session today
Top