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My easy child is about to have a reality check...
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<blockquote data-quote="susiestar" data-source="post: 356933" data-attributes="member: 1233"><p>It very much sounds like she plans to not live at home, if boyfriend is taking her stuff to his house. If she is living at home then helping with college expenses by paying for some things is one thing. If she is living with boyfriend, which you seem to object to by the "in sin" comment, then she is making an adult choice and should be given all adult responsibilities. Your income is greatly reduced. Paying to support her as she does something you don't believe in sure doesn't seem logical to me. I would let her fund her own life, esp if she is making the choice to live with someone and you don't approve.</p><p></p><p>I don't think it is the boy influencing her. I know a lot of women who did this kind of thing in college. Some back when I was in college, some even now (I live in a college town). If she won't discuss things with you in person, doesn't have time for you, then maybe send a short note wishing her a nice summer and letting her know that the financial situation has changed and she is responsible for her own finances. Tell her you love her but do not agree with her choices and priorities, and that you have other choices and priorities for your currently much limited funds. Then if she wants to calmly and adultly discuss things, discuss them. Just do NOT let her abuse you in any way.</p><p></p><p>If she is old enough to decide to live with someone with or without benefit of marriage, she is old enough to pay her own cell phone and car insurance and school tuition and other bills. If that means she cannot go to summer session, boo hoo. These are choices that adults make.</p><p></p><p>Don't you dare feel guilty. This is yet another lesson that she has to learn. If you do not insist that she treat you with respect, then she will not learn to. It is a lesson parents have to teach even adult kids. </p><p></p><p>She will not be happy. She may try to guilt you into giving her money using difficult child and the problems that go along iwth having a difficult child in the family. Turn it back on her. It is HER choices that have her not living at home. If she is not living at home then she does not need to be figured into the household budget. </p><p></p><p>Hugs. This won't be easy. But it IS an important life lesson she needs to learn and you need to teach.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="susiestar, post: 356933, member: 1233"] It very much sounds like she plans to not live at home, if boyfriend is taking her stuff to his house. If she is living at home then helping with college expenses by paying for some things is one thing. If she is living with boyfriend, which you seem to object to by the "in sin" comment, then she is making an adult choice and should be given all adult responsibilities. Your income is greatly reduced. Paying to support her as she does something you don't believe in sure doesn't seem logical to me. I would let her fund her own life, esp if she is making the choice to live with someone and you don't approve. I don't think it is the boy influencing her. I know a lot of women who did this kind of thing in college. Some back when I was in college, some even now (I live in a college town). If she won't discuss things with you in person, doesn't have time for you, then maybe send a short note wishing her a nice summer and letting her know that the financial situation has changed and she is responsible for her own finances. Tell her you love her but do not agree with her choices and priorities, and that you have other choices and priorities for your currently much limited funds. Then if she wants to calmly and adultly discuss things, discuss them. Just do NOT let her abuse you in any way. If she is old enough to decide to live with someone with or without benefit of marriage, she is old enough to pay her own cell phone and car insurance and school tuition and other bills. If that means she cannot go to summer session, boo hoo. These are choices that adults make. Don't you dare feel guilty. This is yet another lesson that she has to learn. If you do not insist that she treat you with respect, then she will not learn to. It is a lesson parents have to teach even adult kids. She will not be happy. She may try to guilt you into giving her money using difficult child and the problems that go along iwth having a difficult child in the family. Turn it back on her. It is HER choices that have her not living at home. If she is not living at home then she does not need to be figured into the household budget. Hugs. This won't be easy. But it IS an important life lesson she needs to learn and you need to teach. [/QUOTE]
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My easy child is about to have a reality check...
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