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<blockquote data-quote="needhelp4family" data-source="post: 488579" data-attributes="member: 13331"><p>Hi Everyone who responded! I sincerely appreciate all your great advice. We've made some progress, I am in counseling, my 18 year old son and my 13 year old daughter are also in counseling. We've been in counseling for about 6-7 months now. I took some time off from counseling because of my intense schedule. We recently went back this week and I explained our situation to each of our independent counselors. All 3 therapists said the same thing, "Our adult son needs to move out immediately"! After the big blow out and my husband left for hours the following day he and I discussed his anger issues and he agrees he needs counseling and is willing to go. However, after such a blow up, our son hasn't budged. We are going to have to bring in the law enforcement, I'm afraid. I need this to take place when our three younger children are at school so they don't have to experience the scene. I guarantee it will be a scene! My counselor said he must report this incident to authorities, because of the danger my children were put into. I told him, I didn't like the sound of that, because I can't have my children away! He said that our son and my husband are alleged perpetrators. As I look back over the 26 years my husband and I have been together, he has anger (temper) issues, however he has never been physical toward any of us, except our adult son, who calls him a f-ing *******, a loser of a parent, etc.... I blow my top too. He has called me a ***** more times than not. I just went into his room and found writings all over that say things like, I hate you ***** along with other threatening words, as well as pot stems, matches, a homemade pipe, etc. I am not going to say I've always been a sweet coddling mother to this child, he has driven me to severe anger (not physical, but verbal), even when he was 5 years old. When he was in school, he was continuously in the office for disrespective and disruptive behavior. He was diagnosed with ADHD and we tried Ritalin for 18 months. It turned him into a zombie, so we took him off of it. The school told us we couldn't keep him in school unless we drugged him. We were dead set against drugging him (research has shown, it causes permanent brain damage). So we took him out of school halfway through the first grade and I home schooled him for 13 years. Let me tell you those were some trying days, to say the least! We continued to home school all of our kids, until 2 years ago, when I had to return to work.</p><p>I have concerns about what he may be capable of he if is provoked to utter anger, especially when he is escorted out by the police. I will have all the locks changed on all the doors, but I am still frightened by the possibilities. I am so thankful to have found a safe place to vent! My counselor worries me in the fact that I cannot be completely honest with him, if he continues to tell me, he will have to report it. I want more than anything else, my family (children) to have a good life, one that is full of love and security! As a kid myself, I lived through 6 divorces between my Dad and Mom. I had some very abusive step parents on both sides. I do not want any of that for my children, nor do I want them to ever live in fear, especially in their own home! Please continue to pray for our family and I love the advice! Mom of 5 and in Need of Help (BIG TIME)!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="needhelp4family, post: 488579, member: 13331"] Hi Everyone who responded! I sincerely appreciate all your great advice. We've made some progress, I am in counseling, my 18 year old son and my 13 year old daughter are also in counseling. We've been in counseling for about 6-7 months now. I took some time off from counseling because of my intense schedule. We recently went back this week and I explained our situation to each of our independent counselors. All 3 therapists said the same thing, "Our adult son needs to move out immediately"! After the big blow out and my husband left for hours the following day he and I discussed his anger issues and he agrees he needs counseling and is willing to go. However, after such a blow up, our son hasn't budged. We are going to have to bring in the law enforcement, I'm afraid. I need this to take place when our three younger children are at school so they don't have to experience the scene. I guarantee it will be a scene! My counselor said he must report this incident to authorities, because of the danger my children were put into. I told him, I didn't like the sound of that, because I can't have my children away! He said that our son and my husband are alleged perpetrators. As I look back over the 26 years my husband and I have been together, he has anger (temper) issues, however he has never been physical toward any of us, except our adult son, who calls him a f-ing *******, a loser of a parent, etc.... I blow my top too. He has called me a ***** more times than not. I just went into his room and found writings all over that say things like, I hate you ***** along with other threatening words, as well as pot stems, matches, a homemade pipe, etc. I am not going to say I've always been a sweet coddling mother to this child, he has driven me to severe anger (not physical, but verbal), even when he was 5 years old. When he was in school, he was continuously in the office for disrespective and disruptive behavior. He was diagnosed with ADHD and we tried Ritalin for 18 months. It turned him into a zombie, so we took him off of it. The school told us we couldn't keep him in school unless we drugged him. We were dead set against drugging him (research has shown, it causes permanent brain damage). So we took him out of school halfway through the first grade and I home schooled him for 13 years. Let me tell you those were some trying days, to say the least! We continued to home school all of our kids, until 2 years ago, when I had to return to work. I have concerns about what he may be capable of he if is provoked to utter anger, especially when he is escorted out by the police. I will have all the locks changed on all the doors, but I am still frightened by the possibilities. I am so thankful to have found a safe place to vent! My counselor worries me in the fact that I cannot be completely honest with him, if he continues to tell me, he will have to report it. I want more than anything else, my family (children) to have a good life, one that is full of love and security! As a kid myself, I lived through 6 divorces between my Dad and Mom. I had some very abusive step parents on both sides. I do not want any of that for my children, nor do I want them to ever live in fear, especially in their own home! Please continue to pray for our family and I love the advice! Mom of 5 and in Need of Help (BIG TIME)! [/QUOTE]
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