mrscatinthehat
Seussical
A friend of mine called me tonight. She let me know that two of her six children are no longer living with her. This is not something that came as a total surprise. The reason that they are out of the home is not even a complete surprise.
She is a single mom. She had five kids and adopted one from her aunt (the aunt is actually our age). The one she adopted is now over 18. She is mild MR.
The two that are not in the house are the next two in line of age. The daughter came back from a visit with her former step dad (lets not ask at this point why this happens) along with the rest of the siblings. According to my friend her 15 y/o daughter got mad at her and started beating her up. She of course defended herself. She left marks. So our child protective agency is charging her. They don't care that it was self defense. All because they already founded her on another case because the next child in line tried to kill himself.
My friend has a really big heart. However she bites off way more than she can chew at times. She also has to have a man in her life and right now the one she has is pretty much another child. He has twin boys that he has custody of. But his mother is doing the raising for the most part on them. He also refuses to work for any length of time.
I have been friends with her ever since we were 3. We have gone through, helped each other through so many things over the years. I really don't know at this point what to do. I know it isn't my place to do anything. But she reached out. She has reached out before. I have tried to give her advice and it doesn't take. I have tried just being there for her. It isn't easy. Because I don't always agree with what she says. I always try to be honest or just keep my mouth shut but who boy that isn't easy sometimes.
I think this might actually be a good thing for her to get a break from the chaos of the two that are out of the house. The problem I see is where they are both currently living. The boy is with his father (holy moly is that a scary thing). He has at leat 12 kids by several different mothers. Ironically one of those kids happens to be easy child's boyfriend. (Talk about adding an extra ugh to this already ugh ful situation). The boyfriend doesn't live with his dad he lives with his grandma (she actually adopted him).
The daughter is currently staying with my friends mother. Now that is one situation that is taking a child out of the frying pan and putting her into the fire. As I said I have known this family most of my life. This is setting this child up for amazingly scary repercussions. Wild rhinos would do a better job than this woman.
And again nothing I can do. This is one of those bang my head against the wall situations. I know I am not an expert on raising children by any means but I have never set up a child to intentionlly fail. Nor do I like the fact they are crucifying my friend. I would agree she needs help but she doesn't need to have a whole lot of poopy piled on her. It makes the stuff we went through with the same agencies seem mild in comparrision and our situation hoovered all over the place.
The writing is on the wall on this that it will turn out bad for most everyone involved. I will arm her with all the information that I can to protect herself (ex. get a lawyer, document, document, document). It just hurts my heart to watch her go through this. Help should not have to come at such a high price.
Please send some good thoughts to my friend R and her family as they are going to need all the power anyone can come up with over the next little while. I don't know if she can handle it if they take the rest of her kids. I worry what she might try and do if that happens.
beth
She is a single mom. She had five kids and adopted one from her aunt (the aunt is actually our age). The one she adopted is now over 18. She is mild MR.
The two that are not in the house are the next two in line of age. The daughter came back from a visit with her former step dad (lets not ask at this point why this happens) along with the rest of the siblings. According to my friend her 15 y/o daughter got mad at her and started beating her up. She of course defended herself. She left marks. So our child protective agency is charging her. They don't care that it was self defense. All because they already founded her on another case because the next child in line tried to kill himself.
My friend has a really big heart. However she bites off way more than she can chew at times. She also has to have a man in her life and right now the one she has is pretty much another child. He has twin boys that he has custody of. But his mother is doing the raising for the most part on them. He also refuses to work for any length of time.
I have been friends with her ever since we were 3. We have gone through, helped each other through so many things over the years. I really don't know at this point what to do. I know it isn't my place to do anything. But she reached out. She has reached out before. I have tried to give her advice and it doesn't take. I have tried just being there for her. It isn't easy. Because I don't always agree with what she says. I always try to be honest or just keep my mouth shut but who boy that isn't easy sometimes.
I think this might actually be a good thing for her to get a break from the chaos of the two that are out of the house. The problem I see is where they are both currently living. The boy is with his father (holy moly is that a scary thing). He has at leat 12 kids by several different mothers. Ironically one of those kids happens to be easy child's boyfriend. (Talk about adding an extra ugh to this already ugh ful situation). The boyfriend doesn't live with his dad he lives with his grandma (she actually adopted him).
The daughter is currently staying with my friends mother. Now that is one situation that is taking a child out of the frying pan and putting her into the fire. As I said I have known this family most of my life. This is setting this child up for amazingly scary repercussions. Wild rhinos would do a better job than this woman.
And again nothing I can do. This is one of those bang my head against the wall situations. I know I am not an expert on raising children by any means but I have never set up a child to intentionlly fail. Nor do I like the fact they are crucifying my friend. I would agree she needs help but she doesn't need to have a whole lot of poopy piled on her. It makes the stuff we went through with the same agencies seem mild in comparrision and our situation hoovered all over the place.
The writing is on the wall on this that it will turn out bad for most everyone involved. I will arm her with all the information that I can to protect herself (ex. get a lawyer, document, document, document). It just hurts my heart to watch her go through this. Help should not have to come at such a high price.
Please send some good thoughts to my friend R and her family as they are going to need all the power anyone can come up with over the next little while. I don't know if she can handle it if they take the rest of her kids. I worry what she might try and do if that happens.
beth
