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Parent Emeritus
My gut is telling me it's about that time...
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<blockquote data-quote="Nomad" data-source="post: 320347"><p>Looking for tried and true patterns might have certain advantages, but it is a slippery slope 'cause it is almost the opposite of detaching. It puts you front row and center on the problem...puts the problem in your mind and almost begs for mom to be part of the solution. </p><p></p><p>I do like the idea of concentrating on the positive though...perhaps encouraging difficult child to try to figure out what makes her feel better or what has made her feel better in the past. Or consider seeing a therapist to discuss these things...</p><p></p><p>We are hoping that our difficult child will identify her moods and/or that something is troubling her and on her own, seek the guidance of a therapist or an MD. This puts me out of the loop, zooms her into accountability and me into detachment.</p><p></p><p>IF and only if I do not find it a detriment to my time and/or mental health, I might offer my adult difficult child a gentle suggestion to get some help, but it is my hope that she will do the work necessary along with the professionals and a solution can be found. Since she is sick, I do not mind steering her in the right direction (give this some thought difficult child or get to a DR). However, I certainly do not want to do any of her heavy lifting. I have my own problems to address, my own life to lead and so forth...</p><p></p><p>Would totally agree, when a difficult child moves out of the home, it is much easier all around.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Nomad, post: 320347"] Looking for tried and true patterns might have certain advantages, but it is a slippery slope 'cause it is almost the opposite of detaching. It puts you front row and center on the problem...puts the problem in your mind and almost begs for mom to be part of the solution. I do like the idea of concentrating on the positive though...perhaps encouraging difficult child to try to figure out what makes her feel better or what has made her feel better in the past. Or consider seeing a therapist to discuss these things... We are hoping that our difficult child will identify her moods and/or that something is troubling her and on her own, seek the guidance of a therapist or an MD. This puts me out of the loop, zooms her into accountability and me into detachment. IF and only if I do not find it a detriment to my time and/or mental health, I might offer my adult difficult child a gentle suggestion to get some help, but it is my hope that she will do the work necessary along with the professionals and a solution can be found. Since she is sick, I do not mind steering her in the right direction (give this some thought difficult child or get to a DR). However, I certainly do not want to do any of her heavy lifting. I have my own problems to address, my own life to lead and so forth... Would totally agree, when a difficult child moves out of the home, it is much easier all around. [/QUOTE]
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My gut is telling me it's about that time...
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