My head's on the block at work.


I have no doubts now.

2 weeks ago I asked my supervisor a technical question (Im a computer geek) and noticed a note on her desk detailing when I arrived and my coming and going thru the day (I had gone to my truck for a soda at break and even that was noted on there).

Our office manager was out, but I wanted to meet with her. So I scheduled a meeting yesterday. Glad I did, too, cause I received my quarterly review late yesterday afternoon, and its amazing.

I am a computer programmer. And this thing was chock full of cut and pastes out of context that make me look pretty bad. I spent all night (til 4am) going thru archives and emails disproving almost everything.

For example, one passage says it took me 5 days to write a program spec, and I had to be reminded to get it done.

Follow me here...I was given the assignment on February 14. I was there half a day and had work to finish that day. I started the assignment on Feb 15, but was out in the afternoon with difficult child 2, (also FMLA), and Feb 16 out all day (FMLA). Feb 19 was a holiday. I worked 6 hours on it Feb 20 (again out the last 2 with difficult child 2), and 4 hours Feb 21, to present in the meeting at 1pm Feb 21, which was orinigally the deadline I was given. On Feb 20, I emailed my tech lead and told him I'd be done by the next day, what did he want me to work on next. Do the math. Yup, 5 days. Done on deadline. I was there 2 of those days, maybe. FMLA or holiday. A real kicker to this one is I'm allowed to "make up" FMLA time if its required to meet a deadline. I worked thru lunch, but was not allowed to use that as make-up time because it wasn't a "real" deadline. Yet its in my review as not being met.

Another one she said I had emailed and said a program was finished and ready for review. Yes, I did. After it had been reviewed the first time by my tech lead a week earlier (the day after my dad died) to determine that I could get it finished when I got back! She totally took that out of context. I even asked my tech lead today and he confirmed that it didn't happen as she had written. He was the one who did the review!

In another she said I had 31 days (248 working hours) to complete a task. I used 48 hours funeral leave, 38 FMLA, and spent 96 hours working on the task, leaving 67 hours "un-accounted" for, which wasn't acceptable. I was able to go back thru on-line notes and she didn't document a root canal for 4 hours, 2 vacation days for 16 hours, and at least 5 team meetings, for at least 5 hours. Ironically, the spreadsheet I have to document my time in to her is also gone. Was there on Tuesday.

The whole review is like that. It took me 10 pages to refute everything and paste in the archived emails and IM's to prove it. Its just a matter of time, tho. They'll take me down.

If you have a spare prayer, I'd appreciate some extras. Trying to send difficult child 2 to montessori school in hopes that it will aid in keeping my job as well as give him a better environment.


New Member
I too used to work for someone like this...for at least a year of my three years at my previous company, it was awful. My supervisor was constantly making up lies about what I had or hadn't done and even when I had proof she was the one screwing things up, I was in the wrong.

I started looking for a new job in December after having that "feeling" and at the end of Jan. 2006 I was let go for bogus reasons, but I never looked back. I now have the job of my dreams with a company that VALUES it's employees and is the type of company you can retire at.

Brush up the resume and start sending it out. I'm not sure where you live in MO (I'm in the St. Louis area) but someone with your skills shouldn't have a very hard time finding a job. I know some great employment agencies if you want to PM me.

I drive by my old job every day and just smile! In fact I asked my new boss (who is the BEST boss I have ever had!) if she thought it would be in poor taste if I sent a thank you card to my old boss, because if it wasn't for her letting me go, I never would have found this job!

Hang in there! Keep documenting everything, just in case you have to file for unemployment. My old job denied my benefits for 5 weeks, but eventually I got all of that back.

I'm sorry you have to go thru this because I know exactly how you feel, but sometimes one door closes for a MUCH better one to open!


No real answers to life..
I think VLong has the right idea....its difficult to give your best when you don't feel your work is appreciated...good luck to whatever choice you make...we will be thinking of you....


I'm sorry you're going through this. Some employers do this when a person uses FMLA. Document, document, document. Every time you send an email, print a hard copy. Log and print your IM's. Even if you don't want to deal with a lawsuit, you don't want something coming back to bite you that will hinder your job search should it come to that.

Hang in there. I'm sending lots of good thoughts your way.


Mom? What's a difficult child?
So sorry they are adding to your stress! This is the kind of stress that get's your mind reeling... try to stay calm and positive. sending good thoughts.


New Member
I, too, agree with Vlong. Spruce up your resume - be proactive, while keeping good records at your present job.

Nobody needs this added stress and I'm sorry you are going through it. I have been fortunate to have fairly understanding employers over the years - lucky, really. Even they give me some grief from time to time.

Hang in there. Will say a little prayer.


Well-Known Member
I agree - start looking. Staying in an environment where you are not wanted is bad. Believe me. I just left something like that and I am MUCH happier now!

hearts and roses

Mind Reader
{{{Shari}}} It's good that you were able to refute their claims. However, it does sound like they are having a hard time keeping track of hours made up and are only calculating hours lost...FMLA...which is wrong. I agree with vlong. Dust off your resume and spruce it up and start looking, sending it everywhere. In the meantime, be sure to keep your own scrupulous records so if need be, you can prove yourself later.

I'm so sorry for this added stress.


Active Member
Before you move on, have a frank talk to your office manager. Tell her/him how much of your time got wasted having to refute this stuff - you COULD refute it, which means the negative report on you was also a waste of someone else's time.

You have two choices. Stay - as long as you're permitted to do your job as conscientiously as you have been doing it, without having someone trying to sabotage you (and how much more could she get done, if she focussed on productivity rather than pulling you down?); or leave - you are competent, you have completed projects on time, you have a solid work ethic and have learned to cut trough red tape thanks to having to deal with mothering a difficult child. So if THIs company isn't prepared to fight for you, and is going to let this supervisor continue to pull you down and in doing so, reduce your productivity, then there will be a business somewhere else which will be a better use of your talents and drive.

This supervisor sounds short-sighted. And maybe jealous? You seem to be getting concessions which she may be resenting.

difficult child 3's godmother went through this recently. In her case she intercepted emails between another woman in her office, and their joint supervisor (not the business manager, but subordinate). The other woman in the office was being encouraged to spy on difficult child 3's godmother, noting down how much time she was apparently spending on personal calls (every call was for the business, the other office worker hadn't checked) and twisting everything she said or did to make it look bad. When godmother found an email from the supervisor to the secretary, making it clear she'd been asking for the spying job, godmother went straight to the top management and filed a complaint.
However, although both the gossipy staff were chastised, nothing more was done and the problem continued. Godmother was getting fed up with the backstabbing in the place anyway and has resigned. However, she is still reserving her judgement about filing a lawsuit for harassment in the workplace and failure of the business management to appropriately respond. She already has another job lined up.

This sort of thing happens and when it does, it makes it very difficult to feel motivated to go the extra mile for the business. A lot of bosses recognise this and will support you, unless they also don't really care, or also want you gone. In which case - don't stay where you're not supported. But in this case, it's possible you may be.

Good luck. I hope you get some relief. And keep really good records, including back-ups of EVERYTHING. I've known other staff to hack into and delete personal files and archived files which were supposed to be kept as a legal record. Other things that can happen - you could get the sack one day and be escorted off the premises with no time to copy your data and your files - in the event of needing some indication of the sort of work you do/have done, or even copies of notes so you can clear your name, you need to keep making copies as you go. Back up onto a thumb drive at the end of each working day.

That happened to me - I went home sick, fortunately during a lighter workload period, and was never well enough to return. Left behind were my notes, my diary (with all my contact names in it - a huge bargaining chip) and all records of my employment. Even though I'd done a really good job I never got a reference or even a statement of employment - all I had was copies of documents I'd prepared while working there. And I was lucky to get copies of them - a disgruntled employee posted them out to me. The business was trying to pretend I'd never been employed by them, and I at last had documents of theirs with my name on them, which I've had to show to other prospective employers in lieu of a reference.


Stella Johnson

Active Member
Sounds like they are upset about the amount of time taken off. I have been in this boat.

I know how stressful it is. Get your resume ready. I agree with the others, I would talk to your supervisor about all of it.



Active Member
I got a new boss at my last job and he wasn't very understanding of days I had to take off for appointments or school suspensions. Even though I made it very clear before I took the job that this would be an issue and they were more than willing to accommodate me. New boss didn't care. It didn't matter that I took work home with me all the time and they got much more than 40 hours out of me... he still wasn't very accommodating.

I was miserable at work and could see the writing on the wall, so I began looking for another job and I now have the best job in the world with the best boss. It's still difficult to juggle it all but she is very understanding about difficult child. Again, I told her upfront at my second interview.

Even if you don't want to get another job just polishing up your resume and even sending it out will empower you. At least you will feel like you have some control in the situation and if they do terminate you, you will already be in the game looking for a new position.



New Member
Another one who was forced to leave a job because of kid issues. Fortunately, I had the skills to become an independent contractor. It was scary at first but one of the best moves I ever made. My salary tripled even after paying my own health insurance and other benefits. I no longer had to worry if I needed to take time off for my child nor any other reason. I could schedule my own hours for what the job and work those hours around my schedule.

Check around with companies in your areas. You may well be able to do the same given your programming skills.

sameold sameold

New Member
I am another one who could not work full time while difficult child was home. When he was 6 I had to just work part time, and like meowbunny I was able to become an indepedent contractor. This was the way I did it until 7 months ago when difficult child moved into his supported living home. Now I work full time with wonderful benefits.


so sorry for the stress. I have been there done that. Also in Operations. I worked for a company 18 years. Was a supervisor. Then my boss started doing the same things. I was documenting the things my boss was saying/doing to me vs. what he was reporting. Had witnesses(my crew). Didn't matter. When I met with my bosses boss, I was told they don't want to see anymore documentation and I better not do that anymore. I was placed on probation. Each time my probation meeting was due, I would be prepared and 5 minutes prior to the meeting my boss would cancel. This went on from April - November when they terminated me. They terminated me for something I didn't do. They said they found a document printed on an office printer with my name on it. I asked them to check their server's and see who printed it because I did not. They terminated me saying I did do that.
It was a long year that year. Everything I did, as you mentioned was documented, however they seemed to have left out the part on what THEY did. HR encouraged me to fight, and go on, but when it came down to the meetings, HR would stab me in the back. "open door policY" is not what it means. Never trust HR. There was one issue I was written up on regarding FMLA. A member of my crew was asking me questions regarding FMLA, since she had a sick child. I suggested to her that she speak to HR because I am not that familiar with it. She went to HR, and was upset (sick child in hospital), and I was suspended. Because>> She went to HR crying and said I told her to go there. I DID. Yet I was suspended because she was crying.
The weekend following my termination my crew told me they had security guards there in the lunch room. One of them asked why they were there. The guard replied, "some crazy broad is going to come in here and blow the place up. She may come with her 8 year old son", and gave my description and that of my son and car. so, all the people I have worked with (and transfered from one city to the next) thought I was going to blow the place up.

I hope you have better luck than I did. I have learned to just keep my mouth shut and do my job, ignore everything else. I get things in writing as far as leave, vacation and sick time. (emails). If it wasn't for the document that I didn't print, they would of found another reason. I just hope what comes around goes around for all those who did this to me. It is very hard to move past a job I loved, people I loved working with, and the experience I had. Starting over is very hard.

Good luck.