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My heart hurts...
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<blockquote data-quote="witzend" data-source="post: 413702" data-attributes="member: 99"><p>After a long tumultuous period in my life, I began to make headway in the happiness department. I think that at that time in his life, M only knew me as an unhappy PTSD victim. It seemed that the better I felt about myself, the more M acted out against everyone in his life. It was like he was trying to drag me back to my unhappiness. Finally, our family therapist said something to me that made sense. </p><p></p><p>M didn't want me to be happy, not because of spite or anger or hurtfulness, but because it changed the rules on how he dealt with me. Before he could push buttons and cause anger or panic or anxiety. But as I was leaving the nest I had built for him, he no longer knew how to ask me for things he wanted because pushing buttons weren't working anymore. It was causing a panic in him. As unhappy as we all were, he knew what it was he had to do to get what he wanted. It was up to me to bring him into the happy world, and not allow him to continue to drag me back down into the "old and unimproved" model we had been living.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="witzend, post: 413702, member: 99"] After a long tumultuous period in my life, I began to make headway in the happiness department. I think that at that time in his life, M only knew me as an unhappy PTSD victim. It seemed that the better I felt about myself, the more M acted out against everyone in his life. It was like he was trying to drag me back to my unhappiness. Finally, our family therapist said something to me that made sense. M didn't want me to be happy, not because of spite or anger or hurtfulness, but because it changed the rules on how he dealt with me. Before he could push buttons and cause anger or panic or anxiety. But as I was leaving the nest I had built for him, he no longer knew how to ask me for things he wanted because pushing buttons weren't working anymore. It was causing a panic in him. As unhappy as we all were, he knew what it was he had to do to get what he wanted. It was up to me to bring him into the happy world, and not allow him to continue to drag me back down into the "old and unimproved" model we had been living. [/QUOTE]
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