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My hissy fit (or "Christmas is over")
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<blockquote data-quote="flutterbee" data-source="post: 109904"><p>(((((Witzend)))))</p><p></p><p>Honey, you don't deserve this. Not from anyone, but especially not from family.</p><p></p><p>I say this with love, you give them too much power. They are not worth the air you breathe. Don't let them ruin your holiday and future holidays. Don't let them win. They've ruined enough of your life already. That cannot be undone, but you can take back the power to let them ruin anymore. So, they spread lies about you. The only ones that are going to believe them are those cut from the same cloth. Would you really want to have anything to do with those people anyway if they are willing to believe a one-sided story? </p><p></p><p>L obviously has her own reasons for wanting to be a part of the family and it really sounds like they are using her to get to you. It's time to set boundaries with L. Tell her that you want no part of that part of her family (as they may be your family by birth, but certainly not by choice) and that she is not to discuss them with you. Ever. Period. One day, hopefully, she will see them for who they are. Hopefully, that happens before they sink their claws into her.</p><p></p><p>I cut my father out of my life 5 years ago. He recently came back and I wish I hadn't let him, although nothing sufficient has happened for me to cut off contact again. But it will. He hasn't changed. It will build. It's already started. During that time that I wasn't talking to him, my grandmother - my dad's mom - would try to get me to talk to him or would try to make me feel guilty. I let her know in no uncertain terms that it was not up for discussion. She tried to bring it up again and I told her that I was not discussing it and if she couldn't respect that, then we had nothing else to talk about. That sunk in.</p><p></p><p>Take back the power. Don't let it eat at you. Don't let THEM do that to you. That, in turn, will just eat away at them. They won't be able to stand it that they can't get to you anymore.</p><p></p><p>The best revenge is living well. There's <em>a lot</em> of truth to that.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="flutterbee, post: 109904"] (((((Witzend))))) Honey, you don't deserve this. Not from anyone, but especially not from family. I say this with love, you give them too much power. They are not worth the air you breathe. Don't let them ruin your holiday and future holidays. Don't let them win. They've ruined enough of your life already. That cannot be undone, but you can take back the power to let them ruin anymore. So, they spread lies about you. The only ones that are going to believe them are those cut from the same cloth. Would you really want to have anything to do with those people anyway if they are willing to believe a one-sided story? L obviously has her own reasons for wanting to be a part of the family and it really sounds like they are using her to get to you. It's time to set boundaries with L. Tell her that you want no part of that part of her family (as they may be your family by birth, but certainly not by choice) and that she is not to discuss them with you. Ever. Period. One day, hopefully, she will see them for who they are. Hopefully, that happens before they sink their claws into her. I cut my father out of my life 5 years ago. He recently came back and I wish I hadn't let him, although nothing sufficient has happened for me to cut off contact again. But it will. He hasn't changed. It will build. It's already started. During that time that I wasn't talking to him, my grandmother - my dad's mom - would try to get me to talk to him or would try to make me feel guilty. I let her know in no uncertain terms that it was not up for discussion. She tried to bring it up again and I told her that I was not discussing it and if she couldn't respect that, then we had nothing else to talk about. That sunk in. Take back the power. Don't let it eat at you. Don't let THEM do that to you. That, in turn, will just eat away at them. They won't be able to stand it that they can't get to you anymore. The best revenge is living well. There's [i]a lot[/i] of truth to that. [/QUOTE]
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My hissy fit (or "Christmas is over")
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