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My hissy fit (or "Christmas is over")
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<blockquote data-quote="Abbey" data-source="post: 110003" data-attributes="member: 179"><p>Witz,</p><p></p><p>Sad to say, but I was raised in a household similar to you. Emotionally and physically abusive father, and cowardly mother.</p><p></p><p>My two siblings and I loathed the man. I couldn't wait to get out of the house. (Unfortunately chose marriage to do that.) For years I did not talk to either parent. Then, I moved to Florida where my father's mother lived. It didn't take me long to figure out WHY he was the way he was.</p><p></p><p>I know I've posted about this before, but his mother was the most bitter person I've ever met. She was hateful, ungreatful and just mean. NOTHING you could do for her was right. (Odd I ended up being her guardian.) Even my father would have nothing to do with her.</p><p></p><p>But, what it showed me is he had no model to look to as how to be a father or be a family. I didn't forgive him, but I chose to let that anger go on my part. My brother and sister have not chosen to do this. I don't think they've talked to him in over 30 years. I respect their wishes, but also wish they would see he is a different man now.</p><p></p><p>We used to beg my mother to leave him. Now...she is the light of his day. You'd think they were teenagers. Although he'd never admit it, I think he now realizes what an a_ss he was when we were young. But, you can't take back time. He's never apologized, but shows it in his actions now. I'm so sorry your father is not doing the same.</p><p></p><p>Let the bitterness go and live your own life. Don't take calls from family that berate you.</p><p></p><p>Since you are having issues with your own Christmas, try taking the family down to the soup kitchen or homeless shelter on Christmas day to help out. There is nothing like helping people who are so much worse off than you are. It helps put things in perspective.</p><p></p><p>Hugs...Abbey</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Abbey, post: 110003, member: 179"] Witz, Sad to say, but I was raised in a household similar to you. Emotionally and physically abusive father, and cowardly mother. My two siblings and I loathed the man. I couldn't wait to get out of the house. (Unfortunately chose marriage to do that.) For years I did not talk to either parent. Then, I moved to Florida where my father's mother lived. It didn't take me long to figure out WHY he was the way he was. I know I've posted about this before, but his mother was the most bitter person I've ever met. She was hateful, ungreatful and just mean. NOTHING you could do for her was right. (Odd I ended up being her guardian.) Even my father would have nothing to do with her. But, what it showed me is he had no model to look to as how to be a father or be a family. I didn't forgive him, but I chose to let that anger go on my part. My brother and sister have not chosen to do this. I don't think they've talked to him in over 30 years. I respect their wishes, but also wish they would see he is a different man now. We used to beg my mother to leave him. Now...she is the light of his day. You'd think they were teenagers. Although he'd never admit it, I think he now realizes what an a_ss he was when we were young. But, you can't take back time. He's never apologized, but shows it in his actions now. I'm so sorry your father is not doing the same. Let the bitterness go and live your own life. Don't take calls from family that berate you. Since you are having issues with your own Christmas, try taking the family down to the soup kitchen or homeless shelter on Christmas day to help out. There is nothing like helping people who are so much worse off than you are. It helps put things in perspective. Hugs...Abbey [/QUOTE]
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My hissy fit (or "Christmas is over")
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